AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Maybe try your sign language with him,” I urge.
“Oh right!” He whips out the penis hand motions again and Ellison refuses to look at even that. Honestly… I’m impressed. It takes a great person to have the willpower to ignore Brandon.
“Why don’t you ever bring your girlfriend to one of these?” August asks.
“Because you guys are so weird, I thought it’d scare her away,” Brandon says as he mimes aiming a schlong at Baker’s face. Baker looks ready to take it.
“We’re the weird ones,” I tell August. “Ha, did you hear that? Brandon thinks we’re weird.”
August nods slowly. “No… no. That’s just… Landon, we’re the only normal ones.”
“But what if we’re so normal we’re weird?” I ask.
“Trust me. You two aren’t normal, but that thing”—Ellison points at Brandon—“is on a whole different level.”
“Ellison has spoken, Brandon, you’re the weirdest of us.”
Brandon looks surprised. “Hey, man. That’s not very nice. Did I tell you Landon used to have an August doll he slept with every night? And someone ripped its head off and while Landon cried, he threw him like a mile out into the ocean. They had to get like search crews and boats and stuff out there to save the guy.”
I decide to try Ellison’s tactic of remaining fully silent.
“How old were you?” August asks.
Dammit, August knows I can’t refuse his questions. “Seven… teen.”
“Ah.”
I jab a finger at all of them. “It was a really cute plush. Don’t judge me.”
“Oh my god, how embarrassing,” Lex announces. “What a loser. Ha ha ha!”
“I think it’s lovely!” Deus says.
“I will denounce my friendship with everyone but Deus, thank you. Are we there yet so we can end this dreadful nightmare that is my life?”
“Another thirty minutes,” Mom announces.
“Oh, dear god.”
“What can we talk about?” Brandon asks.
“I want to hear more embarrassing Landon stories,” Lex says.
August grins. “I agree.”
“No! It is mybirthday.”
“Oh… I forgot,” Lex mutters.
“Of course you did, you little shit.”
“I’ll make you a new August doll!” Deus declares, which should terrify me. “I just need some of August’s hair.”
“Oh god,” I say.
“And flesh,” Deus adds.
“Oh god,” August says, which makes Deus start laughing.
