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“Well, you shot my book, which makes it hard to forgive you, but I guess since that happenedbeforewe were friends, I can still call you a friend,” I say, wondering when I got so stupidly sentimental toward people. Like… when did I startcaringabout stupid things likefeelings?
Deus’s face lights right up as he pulls a paper out of his pocket and scribbles on it before handing it to me. I realize it’s an invoice for yesterday’s events but at the very bottom there’s a “friend discount.” He’s happy enough that he even rolls up the window.
“I’ll make sure this gets to Valerie,” I say as I pass it off to August.
Deus is practically beaming as he sits in his seat next to me. I’m honestly not sure if I’ve ever seen him so happy.
“Don’t let this go to your head,” I threaten, feeling like I can’t let him be too joyous. Who the fuck does he think I am?
“I sure won’t. What do you want me to do to make it up to you? Do you want to sacrifice someone with me?”
“Not in the slightest…”
“Are you sure?” he asks.
“Honestly, I’m extremely positive,” I say, in case he’s confused for some bizarre reason.
“So… Deus… when you sacrifice someone… what does it entail?” Lex asks as he leans past me to stare at Deus.
“If I tell you, I have to kill you,” Deus says.
“What the fuck? But you want us to come do it with you?” I ask. “This sounds sketchy.”
“And you didn’t think it sounded sketchy before?” August asks.
“Well… yeah, but now… it’s super sketchy.”
“You got it all wrong. If you participate, I’ll welcome you in and refuse to ever let you leave. It’s all in good fun,” Deus assures us, which I’m positive means that he’s going to kill us if we screw up.
“What about you, Ellison?” Deus asks. “Want to come with me?”
“That’s true. I feel like if anyone in here is a closet cultist, it’d be you,” I say.
“You’re very right! Ellison, you look set for the part,” Deus says as he crams his face through the two seats with lightning speed. What’s even faster are Ellison’s two fingers that he holds up just in time for Deus to ram both of his eyeballs into them.
“It’s unsafe for you to be leaning into the front seat,” Ellison says coolly.
“Clearly!” Deus says as he rocks back so hard he busts me in the face.
“Fucking hell,” I cry as I jerk back, slamming into Lex who gets his head shoved into the window.
“That was brutal… why did I like it so much?” Deus cries as he wallows on my lap.
“We are here. Thankfully,” Ellison says as he hurriedly gets out of the car. I’m honestly impressed as I exit the vehicle by climbing over Deus’s body, whose eyes are watering and blinking in overtime.
“Let me double-check the area to make sure it’s safe,” Deus says. “Stay here and remain vigilant. I will return shortly.” And with that he disappears.
Ellison looks ready to tug at his hair again. “Wait! No! You’re not going off alone! Valerie asked me to make sure all of us remained together at all times!” Ellison barks as he rushes in the direction Deus ran off in.
“They totally have the hots for each other, don’t they?” Lex asks with a knowing nod.
“What?” August asks, clearly late to the party. “No! They clearly dislike each other. I mean… they haven’t said a single nice thing to each other. Ellison keeps being violent and Deus keeps being… Deus…”
“Oh, honey,” I say as I pet his face.
“What?”
“Honey,” I repeat.
