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“Obviously, I would terminate,” I said. “But that wouldn’t even be your decision.”
“No,” he said, still walking. “It would not. But it’s why you should worry about yourself and not me. There are no consequences for me.”
My shoulders slumped. I looked down at my flat stomach and I felt a hot ball of anxiety tighten around my spine.
I wasnotgoing to get pregnant.
THIRTEEN
holston
I did not like wearing pants.
They felt strange, and they made the fur on my legs itch, and they seemed more stimulating on my mating cock, which meant that I was straining against them most of the time.
But I forced myself not to think about that, and to focus on the most pressing problems we had instead.
“It’s impossible to repair that tire,” I said. “We can’t get the speeder out of here, so that’s out. I still think our best bet is for me to leave and go for help.”
“What if there are more donen men out there?” she said. “What if they scent me out and find some way to break onto the ship? It’s not impenetrable, you know.”
“Yeah, I guess when I made that plan, I was thinking that you needed protection against the vvoln,” I said. “They wouldn’t be smart enough to know where to find the weak parts.”
“Or to download unlock codes to their bracelets,” she said.
“That’s a thing?” I had never heard of such a thing.
“If you know where to look, absolutely.”
I made a face. “Well, that doesn’t make me feel very secure.” I shrugged. “Of course, I usually don’t lock my doors anyway.” A pause. “I could bring you with me?”
“We’ll fuck,” she said. “And that scent will bring vvoln and maybe more donen men who are trying to take me from you. If they’re out there, they’ll come for me?”
I nodded. “But there can’t be that many more of them. There’s no way that many people are so stupid to come up here in Star Season.”
“Well, I’ve been thinking about it,” she said, “and the fact that those three came after me makes me think it’s not like we thought. It’s not like couples with a kink. Because if they had women they were going after, those women would have let their men catch them. They wouldn’t have let them come after me like they did.”
“What motivates people to risk their lives for sex?” I said. “Who does that?”
“Maybe it’s not about sex,” she said. “Maybe it’s about something else. Something they believe in.”
I thought about how I had thought that both of us were willing make sacrifices for things we found important. That I was willing to do a dangerous, difficult, uncomfortable activity just for the gratification of having conquered it. That she was willing to put everything on the line for the resistance.
But this wasreallydangerous. Our risks didn’t compare to coming up here in Star Season.
“Maybe it’s, like, almost a religion or something,” she said. “Do you have any fanatical religions on Ohkk?”
I considered.
“Something obsessed with restoring the old ways or something,” she said. “Coming up here was a fertilityrite, wasn’t it? It was a ceremonial, spiritual ritual.”
“I guess.” I nodded. “Yeah, I guess it was. And there was this nonsense about various entities in the stars and stuff like that? The stars made us horny for each other, essentially. Our ancestors didn’t know it was pollen in plants.”
“So? Are there any groups like that?”
I shrugged. “There could be. I don’t pay attention to that kind of thing.” I furrowed my brow. “Some people can get really intense about religious stuff, like to the point where they’re willing to die for it.”
“They did die for it,” she said. “They tried to take your mate, and you killed them for it.”
