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She swallowed, looking away. “Yeah,” she said.
I furrowed my brow. Yeah?Thatwas what she said? She wasn’t even going to argue with me?
She climbed out of my lap, nodding. “We rushed into this. We’ve really known each other less than two gemoons, and it’s insane to be, like, living together, let alone for you to be… uprooted like you are.”
I sat up straight. I wanted to reach for her. I wanted to take it back. I wanted… “I thought maybe it would get better if we waited. Uh, maybe it still will? I said I would sacrifice for this, and I will. I can.”
She twisted her hands together. “Should it really be like that, though? Should you have to sacrifice? Shouldn’t you want to be with me?”
“I do want to be with you.”
She fixed me with a look. “We don’t sleep in the same bed anymore.”
“It’s just… the beds are really small, shei, and there’s nowhere for my arm to go except under you, and then it falls asleep, and I wake up in the middle of the night with this pain shooting into my wrist—”
“I know, I…” She let out a breath. “But we don’t really touch each other anymore either.”
I hung my head. “I think I’m just stressed,” I whispered. “Once I get through these tests—” I broke off, because I wasn’t even sure if I was going to ever get through the tests. I sighed. “You know, my species is seasonally fertile, and my sex drive, it’s not… when I’m on suppressants…”
“It’s fine,” she said. “Really, that part has been kind of a relief.”
I blinked at her.
She shook her head. “Not because… I mean, Ilikehaving sex with you. Obviously, I do. I was just trying to, um, to kiss you.”
“Maybe we should do that,” I said, reaching into the folds of my fur to try to find my pleasure cock. “Sex. Maybe if we’re intimate now, that’s what we need. Maybe if we, uh, like we could schedule—”
“Oh, stars, seriously?” She cringed.
“No?” I said. “No, obviously, that’s fucked up.” I let go of my cock. I slumped on the chair.
“Look, if neither of us is bothered by the lack of sex, it’s fine,” she said. “We never had much sex before we met, either of us, so now, we’re going back to, you know, normal.”
It was exactly what I had thought.
“Yeah,” I said quietly. “Normal for me is to have a much lower sex drive.”
“That’s fine,” she said.
Except it was not fine, because… because if there was no sex, there was just us, both of us here,mehere, where I hated everything, and there was no compensation for everything I was missing on Ohkk, and I was…
What if I grew to resent her?
I never wanted to feel that way about her.
“It’s not fine, is it?” she said. “You miss your home. You miss hunting. You miss your life. You’re not happy with me.”
“I…” I couldn’t look at her.
“It’s not fair for you to have to give everything up for me,” she said.
“I know, but I volunteered,” I said.
“And you just said it wasn’t going to work,” she said. “So, I guess you’re unvolunteering.”
I winced. “I’m sorry, shei.”
She rubbed her forehead. “No… no, don’t apologize. This was all insane. We should have known better. Obviously, you have to go. Obviously, this is done.”
