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“If you want your children to have children…”
She furrows her brow. “What precisely do you mean by that?”
“Mom, if you don’t go to Europe after the vacation… I don’t know. I might have to look into transferring and going to a different college closer to home because I’ll commute. I’m not going to let Father be alone with you. I’m worried about what he might do to you, and you’re too scared to even give him the divorce papers, so what does that tell you? You’re scared of him too! You really have to do what’s best for you. No matter what that entails.”
She rubs her throat. “I’m considering it. You can see that.”
“I don’t want to hear that you’re considering it. I want you to book a plane ticket.”
“But he’ll find out,” she protests.
“Like I said, buy the ticket but don’t have that place be your final destination. Make it so hard for him to find you that you end up never being found.”
“You do realize all of that is so much easier said than done, don’t you?”
“Yes, of course.”
“And that it might be a long time before we can see each other again.”
“Yes,” I repeat softer this time. “All the more reason for us to go on this cruise first. We can say goodbye with a bang.”
“And what about your brother?” she asks.
“You can see him before you go.”
“If he comes back here…”
“Father might figure out something’s up.”
“I could go to him,” she muses. “I could fly from the airport nearest his college… I don’t believe this. You’re starting to sound far too convincing. Maybe you should be a lawyer.”
I laugh. “No. No thank you.”
“Not even to land pricks like your father behind bars?”
I shake my head. “Not even for that. I don’t want anything to do with him.”
“I know you don’t, and I don’t either, but that doesn’t mean it’s always feasible. If I do go, you’ll be the closest one to him.”
“Hours away,” I remind her. “I can handle him if it comes to that, but Kyle was his favorite too. I don’t think I have anything to worry about. It’s probably because I’m your mini me.”
She hugs me tightly. “You’re so damn strong. Where did you get that from? Because it sure as hell wasn’t from me.”
I hug her back. She’s right. My mom isn’t the strongest, which is why I’m so desperate to ship her way where she’ll be safe. I’ll miss her so damn much, but if I can be assured that she’s safe from my father, I’ll have a chance at being able to move forward and forge my own life without having to worry about her.
I’m not worried about myself.
My mom rubs my back and then pulls away. “Fine. I’ll move to Europe, but there have to be rules. We need to call each other, and we need to have a support system in place, and—”
“Whatever you want, Mom,” I whisper. “You need this.”
“I… I think you might be right,” she murmurs.
I reach up and wipe a tear away from her cheek.
Fresh starts are never easy, but this one is oh so necessary.
For both of us.
