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Kieran’s lips twitch, and I know he is fighting laughter too.
“I know, I had to stop myself from eating them all on the way here, but I remembered you asked me to bring dessert, so I sacrificed my stomach for you.” Kieran feigns a pout and rubs his stomach as if he is starving.
Finn laughs and shakes his head. “You’re silly.”
Kieran’s smile is so full of love it is almost palpable.
“I am. Now, what did you have planned for today?”
Finn looks almost shy all of a sudden and I have no idea what he is thinking. I don’t want to intrude in their moment, but I feel almost compelled to touch them both. These two men I love so much.
I walk to them and just place a hand on each of their shoulders. “How about you make plans over a cookie?”
I know I told Michael he had to wait for the pizza, but Finn has a healthy appetite, and a cookie won’t ruin it for him. Besides, these two were bonding over their love for my food just now, so maybe tasting it is the final push to bring Finn completely out of his shell.
The matching grins make my heart grow ten sizes.
At the island, I take out a dessert dish and set half a dozen cookies on it, placing it in front of them. They are sitting side by side. The original and his mini clone. Seeing them like this, there is no mistaking who his father is. It’s like looking in a time distorted mirror.
Simultaneously, they both grab a cookie and take a bite, licking their lips immediately after.
It’s so weird how similar they act, when they have never spent any time together. And again, my chest tears open for all the missed opportunities for the two of them.
Finn clears his throat after he swallows. Kieran raises an eyebrow and looks at him, taking another bite, waiting for our son to finally speak up.
After another silent bite, he does. “Can you take me for a ride in your car sometime? I’d love to take a ride with you. If that is okay, of course.”
He looks so hopeful, so open. So vulnerable but trusting.
“Wanna go now?” Kieran asks, and I think Finn’s smile will be permanently stuck on his face with how big it grows.
CHAPTERFORTY-FOUR
“Wanna go now?”
My son is taking time to spend with me. He wants to do something with me. And he has no idea who I am to him.
I missed so much already, I don’t want to miss out on any opportunities to get to know him, spend time with him, show him I care.
His smile as I ask the question is so big it makes me want to puff my chest to hold in all my pride.
I made him smile that big.Me!
“Now?”
“Sure, pizza’s not done yet, so we can take just a short ride, what do you say?” God, it’s hard to imagine I didn’t know he existed a couple of days ago and now I’d die for this kid. I’d do anything for him. If he wants a ride, he gets a ride.
“Can we go fast?”
“How fast?” My smile is impossible to hold back. He really is my son.
“Really fast.”
“How about just a normal ride first, huh? No speeding?” Carra urges from where she is standing on the other side of the island, and my eyes go to her. The love I have for this woman is only made bigger, stronger by the knowledge she is the one who gave me this amazing gift that is Finn.
“Cha-cha...” Finn groans, and I know just how he’s feeling. Of course, Carra is right. Finn is the most precious cargo I have, I’m not endangering him, ever, in any way, but I can’t hold back the laughter that bursts out of me.
“Come on, kiddo, let's ride.” I wink at Carra to let her know I’ll be careful, and walk with Finn to my car.
