AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“No!” He shouts, his raised voice wakes Bob and I quickly pluck him up and cradle him against my chest. “You don’t get it. I don’t fucking like dudes nor have I ever wanted to–to touch one, and some Russian cunt comes along making me hard and forcing me to come! What the fuck does that make me? Am I gay? Did I fucking like him playing with my cock?” I can’t stand the distance between us so I climb off the bed and as much as I hate what I’m about to do, I know Rook needs me more in this moment, so I put Bob in the bathroom and close the door. At least cleaning his pee will be easier if he does it on the tiles instead of the carpet in my room. I eliminate the space between Rook and I, then reach out, hoping he can see what I’m about to do and grab his hands in mine. I hate that he won’t let me turn the light on so I can see him.
“Listen to me. You are not gay. You are not weak and you sure as hell didn’t ask for anything that happened to you. I am so fucking sorry that you went through that ordeal. I wish more than anything it never happened, but we can’t sit here and think about the shoulda-coulda-wouldas. We have to face it and I want you to know that I will be here every step of the way.”
“How can you stand to be near me after what I just told you? I sucked his cock, Clare. He fucked me raw and made me come more times than I can count. If I fought back, I wound up being chained to a wall and beaten until I passed out. He would cut me and make me bleed just so he could use my blood as lube. I was starved and left to rot. The only way to get food or water from that cunt was to beg him to fuck me!” Tears trek down my cheeks. I bite my lip to stop the sob from tearing out of me at hearing what he had to endure. “I fucking begged for his cock in my ass!” His voice hitches, then when I hear him sniffle, I’m done for. I spin around and hit the light switch. Rook crumples into a heap on the floor as sobs tear out of him. I launch myself at him and wrap my arms around his shaking form fighting back tears of my own. “You need to leave, Clare.”
My arms stiffen around him. “I’m not leaving you,” I say in a tone that leaves no room for argument. His arms wrap around me in a vice-like grip.
“I’m no good for you anymore.” He hiccups and I tighten my hold on him, then rest my chin atop his head as he nuzzles his face into the crook of my neck.
“That isn’t your call to make.” I take a shuddering breath and push past the lump in my throat. “You can push me away but I won’t leave you.”
“I’ve been so angry at you and blamed you because I thought you ran from me and killed our baby.” I slam my eyes closed and breathe through the pain that this topic brings with it. I may have been young but I wanted that baby more than he will ever know. “I wanted to hurt you because I blamed you. I thought if you had just stayed and not ran, my life would have taken a different path and I would never have been angry and bitter enough to do what I did with Koby. I replay that night over and over in my mind. I should never have gone to the docks and none of this would have happened.”
“Imagine if you didn’t go to the docks though. Your brother would never have gone to Russia and saved the lives of all those girls. I know what you went through was traumatic but you going through what you did saved the lives of thousands of innocent women and children.”
Rook
I pull back from her embrace and mull over her words. I have never thought about it the way she has said it. Would those girls and Anya still be stuck in Russia at the mercy of Vlad and Ivan if I wasn’t taken? Yeah, they would be. I use the backs of my hands to brush away the tears and fight the embarrassment that thrums through me at crying in front of Clare. I tentatively reach out and cup her tear-stained cheeks between my hands. I search her gaze, trying to get a read on what she is thinking but all I see is… love. She doesn’t look at me with disgust or shudder at my touch like I thought she would after hearing all of that.
“I want to kiss you.” My eyes widen in surprise at the same time hers do, she is just as taken back by my statement as I am.
“You never have to ask to kiss me.” Her voice has turned raspy and I hear the undercurrent of lust in her tone.
“I haven’t… I mean, I…” She presses her index finger against my lips and smiles shyly.
“If it makes you feel any better, I’ve never been with anyone else except… you.” My brows jump up to my hairline. Clare and I were each other’s firsts so that means…
“You never slept with anyone else after you… left?” She nods and that one action has heat spreading throughout my body. I don’t think I just act. I smash my lips against hers—she gasps in shock. I use that to my advantage and plunge my tongue inside her mouth. The moment my tongue brushes hers, a moan slips free. She reaches out and grips the front of my shirt pulling me closer. I skate my hands all over her, loving how her skin feels beneath my touch and when it pebbles with goose flesh, I smirk against her mouth.
I grip her hips and gently lift her so she straddles my waist. She rests her hands on the tops of my shoulders as she grinds down against my erection. My breath hitches and I pull back, breaking the kiss as I take a deep breath and remind myself Clare isn’t Ivan. She cups my cheeks and lifts my face to hers. I slam my eyes closed not wanting to see a pitying look in her eyes.
“Look at me,” she urges. I take a minute to gather myself before slowly blinking my eyes open and peering up at her. There is no trace of pity in her eyes just… understanding. “Whatever you need from me, just say. If you want to stop and go watch movies, we can do that but just know, there is no pressure from me.” Her words start to ease the tension coiling inside me. My grip on her hips tighten as I make the final decision to not allow Ivan to take this moment from me. I have allowed that fucker too much of my head space. I loved sex and being balls deep inside pussy, but ever since being in Russia, I cower at the thought of sex or even getting hard. I haven’t even jacked myself off in months because I was too scared that it would trigger a flashback! I blow out a loud exhale and decide this is the moment where I take control of my life back and not allow my past to ruin any chance of me having a future.
“I need you to not stop unless I say otherwise, don’t treat me differently.” She nods and smiles proudly down at me as she cups my cheeks.
“Let me be your anchor, allow me to keep you grounded and I promise you, everything will be okay.” I claim her lips and watch as her eyes flutter closed. I don’t follow her lead, keeping mine open and watching her. I need to see her so she can ground me like only she can. Clare has always been a part of me. I tried to mask the pain of her leaving by hiding behind humor and fucking my way through the female population, but the truth is, they meant nothing to me. They were just an escape to ease the ache in my heart that losing her caused. I just had no idea that Tony was the fucking cause of me losing my first and only love.
She runs her fingers through my hair and I moan at the feeling of her exploring my body. I skate my hands down her body until I’m cupping her ass and climb to my feet. She locks her legs around my hips and doesn’t break our kiss as I move us to the bed. I gently lay her down and smile when I see the annoyed look on her face from me putting distance between us.
“Just let me take in the sight of you, ready and waiting for me.” Her eyes soften at my words. I’ve never cared about looking at or even wanting to remember any of the others but Clare isn’t just anyone, she ismyperson. She reaches down and pops the button on her shorts. I stand here and watch her, transfixed on the sight in front of me. Clare has no idea what a fucking goddess she truly is. She shimmies her sleep shorts down her legs and my mouth waters at the sight of her bare pussy. “No panties?” She bites her bottom lip and shakes her head.
“I never wear them to bed.” I groan and fight the urge to palm my cock through my jeans. I can see her thighs are slick with her arousal. I’m a slave to my own body, I bend down and lick her inner thighs cleaning them. The moment the taste of her explodes on my tongue, a long throaty moan tears from deep within me.
“Fuck, you taste so good, baby.” A small moan comes from her. I smirk as I continue to lick her thighs purposely avoiding the place she wants my tongue the most. I reach up and push her shirt up, exposing her stomach, I glide over her pussy and love when she growls in protest. I place a tender kiss to the scar on her abdomen and force the anger I feel away, knowing that this isn’t the time to let my rage toward Tony out. I wish it was me that killed the fucker! She lifts up helping me rid her of her shirt. I bite my lip and I wedge myself between her legs. I release my lip and smirk when I pull the cups of her bra down. My eyes widen and my gaze shoots to hers. “Since when do you have your nipples pierced?”
A blush coats her cheeks as she shrugs. “I got them done last year.” I cup her tits in my hands and flick my thumbs over her nipples, loving the fact that they are pierced.
“I fucking love them but you’ll never allow anyone else to see what ismineagain!” Her eyes glaze over with raw need.
“Yours, huh?” she sass’s. I pinch her nipples between my fingers and relish in the breathy moan that escapes her as her back arches off the bed.
“Make no mistake, baby, you’ve always been mine, even when you didn’t know it. You and I are cosmic, we’re destiny.” I don’t wait for a response as I bend down and flick my tongue over her nipple. The sound that comes from her has my cock rock hard and straining against my jeans, begging for me to bury it inside her tight wet hole. I suck her nipple into my mouth and swirl my tongue around her peak at the same time.
“Shit!” she cries out as she bucks her hips off the bed trying to grind against me. I grip her waist with my free hand and pin her to the bed as I continue to lap at her nipple. I release it with a wet pop and switch to the other side, clamping my teeth down on her metal bar and relishing in the gasp that escapes her. She grips my hair and tugs on the strands, pulling me in closer. I take her hint and bite down harder on her nipple. “Oh my God!” she cries out. I release her nipple and slide up her body until I capture her lips in a kiss that brands her as mine. She reaches down and grips the hem of my shirt and pulls it up. I try not to tense when I help her pull it the remainder of the way off. I rest back on my haunches and fight the urge to hide my marred body from her. She reaches up and runs the tips of her fingers all over me tracing the lines that will remain on my skin forever.
“I can keep the shirt on,” I offer. She glares up at me, her nose twitches which tells me she is pissed.
“I told you before, you’re beautiful and I want all of you.” She doesn’t give me a chance to protest when she grips the waistband of my jeans and pops the button while never taking her eyes off mine. The sound of my zipper being pulled down is the only sound that can be heard. My breath stills when she pushes them down. I help her out and slip off the bed as I push my jeans down and stand before her in my black briefs. I stare down at her and whatever she sees in my gaze has her shuffling her naked ass off the bed and dropping to her knees before me.
