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“He never gave up on you, he never stopped looking for you. When they found that body, he never believed it was you, Rook. Knight never gave up hope that one day he would find you. He swore he would never rest until you were home.” Her words ring true but I’m still too angry to care. “When we found out I was pregnant, I was terrified. Knight was scared but for different reasons. He told me he didn’t know how he was going to be able to be a father or even be a good dad because you weren’t there to pull his head in. I know you are angry and you have every fucking right to be, but my sons are innocent.” Her tone is firm, her eyes are no longer soft but hard in warning. “I love your brother and would cause mass genocide for him, but I do not love him enough for his own twin to project his anger onto my sons because he is pissed at their father. You want to hate Knight and be pissy at him, fine. But what you will not do is take that anger out on Havoc and Chaos. Do I make myself clear?”
I look at her in a whole new light. My respect for her has grown tenfold in the space of minutes. Koby didn’t come in here to plead for my brother, well maybe a little, but I respect her for not pushing that issue. So for that reason, I answer her first question.
“I saved you because Knight wouldn’t have survived losing you, Koby. I knew he was falling in love with you the second he wouldn’t let me join in when I walked in on you. My brother had only slept with one woman before you.” She doesn’t seem surprised by my declaration which cements what I already know, Knight loves her enough to let her in. “I freaked out. I thought I was going to lose my brother to you. In my head you were the enemy and I wanted to prove my point, so I took you to the docks. I thought for sure you would break and fight so your cover wouldn’t be blown but I was wrong and I paid for that mistake.” I grit out the end of that sentence, my hands clench at my sides as I take a few deep breaths to try and ease my anger.
“If you expect me to drop to my knees and tell you how amazing you are, you are outta your damn mind. But what I will say is, thank you. If you didn’t save me I wouldn’t have been able to have my sons and they are everything to me, Rook. They are your brothers world which is why I’m not asking, I’m telling you to come with me and meet your fucking nephews because they are amazing.” I shake my head but she pushes on. “Hate their father but not them. They are innocent and need their uncle. Knight and King have left to meet Luka and Bish, he isn’t in the nursery, so now is your chance.”
When she turns and walks out the door, my legs act on their own and follow after her. Nerves thrum through me as we make our way down the hallway to the door next to Knight’s room, that used to be Car’s but her and Vin stay in the pool house now. I pause a couple of steps away and watch Koby walk into the room. It’s not because of Knight why I’ve never touched, held, or even looked at the twins––okay maybe that is part of the reason, but it’s mostly the fact I’m fucking jealous that his kids got to live and mine didn’t. I never had this issue with getting close to Mela, she was older and I guess at that time I wasn’t so in my feelings. But now, I can’t seem to get out of my head to embrace my own blood.
Clare
I’ve tossed and turned for the past hour, sleep is eluding me.
I decide to give up and hop up from the couch I am currently laying on in their games room. Luka was supposed to be back hours ago and promised that we would talk when we got back to his place. I’m angry at my brother. I needed him tonight and as per usual he chose his job over me. I shouldn’t be salty, I know that, but for the past five months I have had to deal with dad’s passing on my own. Feeling parched, I decide to go and grab a bottle of water. Kiara told me to help myself. My stomach growls begging for food, Kiara offered to make me something when she helped get me settled on the couch but I was too shy to say yes. I have a headache and I know it is from not eating, but it’s not like I have the money for food. I spent all the savings I had from working at the diner to cover dad’s funeral costs and I’m still paying off his medical bills. When dad got laid off from work, we couldn’t afford our insurance so all his hospital trips, well let’s just say I’ll be paying that off for the rest of my life.
I creep as quietly as I can through the silent house. Kiara told me that all the rooms are upstairs so I shouldn’t wake them by helping myself to the kitchen. Kiara did offer me the guest house since it’s apparently empty now but I refused. I already feel like a freeloader sleeping on their couch waiting for my brother. I round the corner hoping I’m going the right way, this house is massive and I could easily get lost in here. I tiptoe through the hallway and turn right. Just before I get to the foyer, a sigh of relief escapes me. I make out the counter and sink. Not wanting to turn a light on and alert anyone to my presence or for them to find me helping myself to their food I decide to forgo turning the light on.
I reach out and brush my fingers along the wall using it as a guide to lead me to the fridge and hoping I don’t stub my toe on something. A smile breaks free when I feel the handle of the refrigerator, I pull it open and blink my eyes a couple of times to adjust to the dim light of the fridge. My stomach grumbles loudly in the silent room at the sight of all the food. I bite my lip and mentally berate myself.
Don’t steal from the mafia, Clare!I keep repeating that in my head as I grab a bottle of water, but then I spot an apple. It’s red and looks so crisp, would they really notice one apple missing?
Screw it!I’m so hungry I throw caution to the wind and grab the bloody apple. I close the fridge door, turn to leave then scream when I see a shadow in front of me. A hand clamps over my mouth, I drop the apple and water to the floor as I’m shoved back up against the fridge. I’m frozen with fear, unable to lift my arms and fight back against my assailant. Tears prick the corners of my eyes ready to spill over at a moment’s notice.
“If I move my hand you gonna scream again?” I shouldn’t sag with relief at the sound of his voice but I do. Rook may have changeda lotin the past four years but I know without a doubt he would never hurt me. I nod unable to voice my reply. He drops his hand and moves away. I lose sight of him for a moment but then the light flicks on and blinds me for a second until I adjust to the harsh light. Rook makes his way back to me but this time he leans back against the counter. I’m too frightened to move or even collect the water and apple from the floor. I feel my cheeks heating from the shame of being caught taking food and water from him. I drop my gaze to the floor unable to look at him.
To my utter horror and embarrassment my stomach lets out a roaring grumble and I cringe in pain from the cramps. I haven’t eaten in so long that now each time my stomach grumbles, it causes me pain. I chance a look up at Rook through my lashes, only to find him glaring at my stomach. I cross my arms over my stomach and try to flee but he blocks my path.
“Sit, you need to eat.” His tone leaves no room for argument. Me being me though, I want to deny him and not give in but when my stomach protests again, I march my ass around the counter and hop up on one of the stools. I watch Rook silently move around the kitchen, grabbing pans and condiments from the fridge. Soon my eyes betray me and stop watching what he is doing and I start watchinghim. He wears a pair of black basketball shorts and a plain white shirt. His hair is a mess of long brown waves and he keeps flicking his head to keep it out of his eyes. When another strand of hair lands on his forehead I want to reach out and brush it away but don’t. The only sounds that can be heard are the clanging of pans and sizzling of bacon—the smell alone has me salivating.
I decide to try and distract myself before I shove him out the way and eat whatever he is cooking raw. “Are you still in school?” He freezes up for a second, then slowly peers over his shoulder at me. His eyes are so haunted and filled with deep rooted pain, I want to reach out and ease his pain, make it my own so I can share some of the burden that is troubling him.
“Nah. High school dropout right here, had… other shit come up.” He sounds bitter and almost resentful. He turns back to resume cooking. For some reason I feel compelled to keep talking. Once upon a time I thought this man was going to be my future. I may have only been fifteen but I truly thought we had a connection that would last a lifetime.
“Are you planning on going to college?” A snort comes from him as he turns to face me and pins me with aare you denselook.
“Look around, Clare. You are sitting in the house ofthemafia family of New York.” I gulp loudly but refuse to allow myself to fidget in fear, his father is no longer here! “Do you really think someone like me could go to college?”
My brows raise in surprise. “Rook, you can do anything you want. Just because your family… has this type of job doesn’t mean you have to follow in their footsteps.” He shakes his head in disbelief.
“You know, four years ago I would have believed that but now, I can’t trust a fucking thing that comes out of your mouth.” His harsh words have me recoiling and feeling guilty. I shouldn’t feel guilt when what happened was out of my control. He never came after me!
“You can think what you want about me but my statement remains true. You are not bound to walk the same path as your brothers. You were born to be different.”
“No, I wasn’t born to be anything more than a burden.” I snap my gaze to him in shock. “I am the family fuck up. It used to be Knight but I stole the crown from him without even trying.” He tries to feign humor but the undercurrent of shame is present in his tone. He turns and piles food onto a plate before sliding it across the counter to me. He opens the drawer and slides a knife and fork to me next. My mouth waters at the sight of bacon, scrambled eggs, grilled tomatoes and mushrooms. I don’t bother continuing our conversation, my mind is too sidetracked by the sight of this amazing meal to even form a coherent thought.
I scarf the food down so fast I have to sit up straight and pat my chest to help swallow. I drag in lungfuls of air before I dive in and finish the rest off. It may be a simple meal but right now, I would swear it’s something as good as Gordon Ramsey would make. Rook leans against the counter watching me silently. Normally it would bug me that someone is staring at me while I eat but not tonight. Tonight I am going to enjoy this meal and not care whathethinks of me. There used to be a time in my life that all I cared about was what Rook Murdoch thought of me. Now, I don’t care what anyone thinks. I got my GED online, I didn’t have the luxury of going to school while caring for my sick father but I still made it work.
“When was the last time you ate?” I finish my last mouthful before slowly lifting my gaze to his accusing one. I want to lie but something in the way he is looking at me tells it would be a bad idea.
“A few days.” His only response is to grunt and glare at my empty plate before turning and storming out of the room. I sit here open-mouthed and shocked as hell at his reaction. I wait a couple minutes thinking he may return but of course, he doesn’t. Resigned to my fate I get up, clean up and then head back to my designated bed for the night and wait for my brother. I try to wait for Luka to return but when the sun begins to crest the horizon, I finally lose my battle and fall asleep. Luka never showed.
Rook
It’s around four in the morning when I hear Bishop and Kiara arguing. It’s not like their normal fights. Bishop sounds scared and that is the only reason I drag my ass out of bed and peek into the hallway. I look across the hall to see Knight and King doing the same thing as me. The three of us stare at Bishop’s closed door at the end of the hall listening to him beg Kiara to tell him what to do. Their bedroom door flies open and an irritated Kiara pins the three of us with a look. We all know that look. Bishop is working her last nerve and she is about to explode. Bishop stands behind her, pale and looking scared. Knight, King and I all exchange worried glances until Kiara speaks.
“Can one of you drive us to the hospital?”
“Why? You gonna kill my brother?” King’s jest is met with a glare from the tiny raven haired beauty. Bishop is still yet to utter a single word.
