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He stiffens in my arms. “Yes, it did. You kids and your mother were the light of my life. When I lost Bri and then your mom…” He takes a deep breath. “I felt like I lost a big part of myself.” He rests his hand on my shoulder. “Your mom loves you—”
I shove his hand off. “She doesn’t. She abandoned me when I needed her. She’s been texting me and wants to rebuild a relationship with me, but I’m not interested.”
He sighs. “Colt, you don’t understand what happened the day she left.”
I cross my arms over my chest. “I don’t care. She abandoned us. She abandonedme. I was alone with no mom and no dad.”
He flinches. Then he bends forward and slowly stretches his arms around me. “There’s so much I wish you’d understand,” he murmurs. “I’ve been a terrible father…a terrible person.”
Drawing back, I give him a confused face. “What do you mean?”
He takes a deep breath and slowly releases it. “Your mother and I said some horrible things to each other and that’s why she left. We blamed each other for what happened to your sister. I claimed your mom was too hard on her and drove her away to that reckless boyfriend—”
“Justin loved her. You should have seen how her eyes lit up whenever she talked about him. She loved him, Dad.”
He doesn’t say anything. Then, “I don’t know if you’re aware of this, but your mother and I had a lot of problems with Bri.”
I nod. I was young, but I remember everything. How Bri would yell at them—especially Mom—and stomp up to her room and slam the door. “Because you didn’t listen to her. You tried to control her when she was just trying to survive.”
His eyes circle my face. “Survive?”
I puff out my cheeks. “Remember how she begged you and Mom to change schools, but you didn’t let her? All you cared about was the good education. You didn’t notice she was suffering.”
He stiffens. “Suffering? Colt, what aren’t you telling me?”
I hesitate. I know Bri didn’t want to tell them the truth, but I think she’d let me tell my dad now if it helped bring him peace of mind. “She was bullied in high school. She was so unhappy she cried herself to sleep every night. That’s why she wanted to change schools. Didn’t you ever wonder why she chose a college so far from home? She didn’t want to get away from you guys, she wanted to get away from the terrible people around her.”
He’s quiet as he takes it all in, eyes a little wide with shock. Then the pain takes over. He looks like he wishes he could bring my sister back and apologize for all the hurt he caused her. “Why didn’t she tell us?”
I shrug. “I guess she didn’t want to worry you.”
Dad bends forward, hands going to his graying dark hair. “Bri,” he whispers, his voice choked with tears. “I’m so sorry. So very sorry, honey. I should have listened to you.”
I rub his back, my throat burning as I try to hold in my tears. “It’s okay, Dad,” I whisper. “She’s in a better place now. She’s with the love of her life and she’s happy. I know it. I canfeelit.”
A breeze flows in through the open window and wraps around us. I swear that’s my sister reassuring me and Dad that she’s okay.
Dad hugs me. “I love you, Colt. Again, I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you.”
“I love you, too, Dad. We’ll be there for each other now. You and me, we’ll get through this.”
He bends forward and kisses my forehead. “Yes, we will.”
Chapter Thirty-Three
Willow
The first thing that enters my head when I wake up Friday morning is that I matched with Colt. And for the trillionth time, I tell my stupid brain to shut up. I feel nothing. I feel nothing. I feelnothing. When one says it enough, it should come true, right?
I’m so thankful that Mom doesn’t bring him up as she rushes to get to work. Maybe she wants me to make sense of my thoughts and feelings? Not that it matters because nothing will come out of it. I just hope she didn’t tell Dad because I have no idea how he’d react. I’ve never been interested in anyone before and I don’t know if he will go all “protective mode” like some of my friends’ dads, or if he would be cool about it.
My phone dings with a text. Colt is waiting outside to take me to school.
My stomach muscles tighten. Oh no. Am I nervous to go to school with him?
“I want a boyfriend,” Mia announces as she munches on her toast.
Dad shoots her a warning look. “You’re too young.”
