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Quiet.
“I’m sorry if I’m making things difficult for you,” she says.
I shake my head. “Not at all. My friends don’t have to be your friends. We can all hang out, though I think it’d be best if we spend time with your friends instead of mine. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. Don’t worry about me. Once I get back together with Vanessa, everything will go back to the way it was. And you’ll gather all the data you need for your app and you’ll win second place at the coding competition.”
Her eyes widen. “You wish!”
I bend closer. “You know, if your app is a success, you can reach a broader audience. Like adults.”
“I know. That’s why I really want to win the competition.”
“Same with me. It’d be nice for my app to help kids from all over the world. I didn’t program international languages yet, but if it does well, I’ll probably do that.”
She’s quiet as she watches me.
“What?” I ask.
“What’s your deal, Colt?”
I push some hair away from my face. “What do you mean?”
She gestures to me. “You. I don’t get you. You’re a tech geek like me, but you don’t want anyone to know. You pretend to be popular—”
“Iampopular.”
She frowns. “But I’ve never seen your eyes light up the way they do when you talk about your app.”
“You’ve noticed me?”
“Actually, no. I never did. But I mean, since you came to coding class and everything. When you talk to your friends, you don’t seem as excited as when you’re talking about your app. I’m not saying you’re fake…well, yeah. That’s what I’m saying. You’re hiding who you really are.”
I stare at her for what feels like hours. “How do you know who I am if we only started talking to each other this week?”
She shrugs. “I don’t know. I guess, from one tech geek to another, I get you. But I don’t get why you have to hide.”
I clench my teeth as the memories of middle school flash in my mind. The tormenting, the name calling, the lonely lunches hiding in the bathroom.
Taking a deep breath, I slowly release it. “No, you don’t understand. And I don’t want to talk about it. Look, we’re fake dating but we don’t have to spill our feelings to each other, right?”
Her mouth snaps shut. “Yeah.”
I curse under my breath. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you. It’s just that—”
“No, you’re right. I pushed when I shouldn’t have. Really, it’s not my business why you’re keeping your nerd side a secret. Sorry.”
I smile. “It’s okay. Are we good?”
“Solid. Oh by the way, what about our parents? Do we tell them the truth?”
I clench my jaw. I don’t have parents to tell the truth to. Mom left me and Dad pretends I don’t exist. It’s like he lost two kids the day Bri died.
I don’t get it. I’m still here…
“I think it’ll be hard to remember who knows the truth,” I say. “Better to just lie to everyone, if that’s okay with you.”
