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“Always,” he says without hesitation. A small beat passes between us, and I’m certain he’s going to make a move. This small beacon of hope dies on the vine as he continues. “I think if you give something you’re all, if you work your ass off for it, wanting it like your head’s on fire, you’re bound to attain it.” He pulls his full lower lip in between his teeth. “It wasn’t an easy ride for me either, Rebecca.”
“How so?” I dare to ask.
“I, too, was born introverted. Studying things and knowing how they work was more of an excitement to me than ever diving into how people work. It was so much easier to do things on my own, learn them, log them.”
“I can relate.” I smile at him. To my surprise, Kellan smiles back.
“When I first started, some of my ideas were so out there. People couldn’t wrap their brains around them. My research was completely rejected by my peers and colleagues. They didn’t understand what I was trying to accomplish.”
“But you didn’t give up.” I interrupt.
“No, I didn’t. If anything, it fueled me to work harder, to prove to them that I knew exactly what I was doing and that I was going to single-handedly show them that I was brilliant. But,” he lets out a long exhale. “It’s come at a price.”
He shifts in his chair. I notice the little lines around his eyes, showing age and experience. They only make him sexier.
“My social life suffered. I completely disengaged from people. All I wanted in life was time in the lab. Data replaced dates, and I found myself nearly forty without a prospect. I wondered if it was all worth it, but then I had my first big breakthrough.”
“I saw you in Popular Science.” I blurt it out before I can stop myself. “Your interview about the life-cycle of stars was so…cool.” I nearly kick myself for not being able to find a more intelligent word. “It was that moment that I decided I wanted to follow down the path of Astrophysics. It’s so crazy to me. It ties into the universe so beautifully—”
“And continues to make us question what’s actually going on up there.”
“Yes,” I whisper, seeing something in this man I’d never seen before. For all of the time I spent with him, I’ve witnessed precision, dedication, and persistence. Now, for the first time, I’m seeing his passion.
His eyes flicker across my face, down toward my lips. I can’t help it. I lean in closer, closing the gap between us. Kellan follows suit, and I close my eyes, waiting for the moment I’ve been dreaming about since the day I started working with him.
“Dr. Jameson?” Dean Toddson’s voice pulls me from the moment. I pull away so quickly I about get whiplash.
“Roger.” Kellan rises from his chair and heads toward the dean. My entire body feels frozen. What if the dean saw us? What would he think? Would he reassign me to someone else? I’m too far along to start another research project for my dissertation.
“Can I speak to you for a moment?” The dean’s eyes fall on me before he steps out into the hall. Kellan throws a quick glance over his shoulder at me before following him out. My chest compresses. What the hell just happened?
Not only did I nearly kiss the most brilliant man I’ve ever met, but it appeared that he wanted to kiss me back. I smile, tugging at my lower lip, until a horrible thought crosses my mind. The only thing worse than Dean Toddson pulling me from this project would be if Kellan himself decided we were getting too close and ended it all himself.
ChapterSeven
Kellan
Dean Toddson arrivingwhen he did just possibly saved my ass. Rebecca and I nearly kissed. What the hell was I thinking? This isn’t the right move for me now, even if I can’t stop thinking about her. I can’t jeopardize her situation any more than I already have. As for me? I’m just going to have to go on suffering without her. My life is my work, and if I had any sense at all, I’d put that back to the forefront of my mind.
When I head back into the classroom, Rebecca’s backpack is slung over her shoulder. She looks at me with those crystal blue eyes lined with fear. She knows if the dean would’ve caught us kissing, it would’ve been bad for both of us.
“Everything alright?” She asks.
“Yeah.” I run a hand through my hair. “Dean just wanted to know if I’d be available for an in-person interview for the alumni magazine.”
“Oh,” she says, unable to hide the relief in her voice. A small smile plays on her full lips. She’s taken her hair down. Her dark curls frame her heart-shaped face. She looks like an angel. “In that case, maybe I could put in a few more hours before I have to go home and shower for work.”
“No, Rebecca. You should go.” My curt tone causes the smile to slide off her face. I can’t bear to look at her. I head toward the back of the lab and grab my coat. The sheer exhaustion of being up all night finally takes hold. “It’s probably best if we both head home.”
“Okay,” she says as if she doesn’t believe what I’m actually telling her. “Well, I guess I could come in a little early tomorrow if we wanted to…” she pauses. “Pick up where we left off.”
I turn to her, risking sneaking a glance. I know this is hurting her, but it’s for the best. She doesn't need this complication in her life. “Maybe it’s best if you take a day or two off.”
“A day or two off?” Her backpack falls from her shoulder. She plops it on the lab table. “We’re on a roll, Kellan.” God, the sound of my name in her mouth makes me crazy. It only solidifies that I need to put a stop to all of these feelings immediately.
“Another thing, I was wrong to have you call me by my first name. I think Dr. Jameson would actually be more appropriate.” I feel the wall I’ve worked so hard to build reconstructing itself, brick by brick, leaving Rebecca securely on the outskirts of my emotions.
Her eyes narrow. “Okay, fine, Dr. Jameson.” She punches my last name as she stares right through me. “If that’s what you want.”
