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Molly delivers the two large coffees, which I quickly pay for and leave.
The surf shop is in my line of sight. All I need to do is go and offer him that drink.
My feet are surer than my head as I get closer to the shop door, but I can’t wimp out. This is something—someone I need to face.
The electronic bell chirps and I close the door behind me, balancing the coffee cups on one another.
The shop is quiet, and I look towards the counter but don’t see Jayce.
“Excuse me, is Jayce in?” I ask the guy working.
“Sorry. He’s due down in an hour or so.” He gets back to his paperwork at the counter.
“Um, do you know where he is by any chance? I really need to speak to him.”
He gives me a puzzled look but then picks up his phone and runs his thumb over the screen.
My heart rate picks up a little as I wait, assuming the guy’s messaged him.
“He’ll be down in a minute,” he calls as I meander around the shop.
Funny, I was so angry with Jayce the last time I was here. So utterly consumed with the negative feelings and frustrations that have plagued me, I couldn’t see straight. And today, I feel timid and anxious. Like that fight on the beach unblocked something that’s allowed other feelings to brew.
“Hey.” Jayce’s voice startles me, and I take a breath and turn to face him.
“Hey.” The air simmers with anticipation between us, but I need to make the first step here. “Coffee?” I offer the cup to him.
He takes it, his thumb brushing mine as he wraps his hand around it.
He’s always been the one who wants to talk, to tell me something or open up first. And now, he’s the stoic one.
“I thought we could have that drink.” I raise my coffee and try for a small smile. His eyes haven’t left mine, and it’s unnerving having so much attention on me. All my defences are in the rubble after telling him my secret, and his stare reminds me of how he looked at me when we were kids.
It’s suffocating and paralysing, and my gut feeling is to run—to escape. But this is about working through that, fighting that urge, and seeing if I can cope with living in the same town as Jayce.
The silence stretches and only adds to my vulnerability, standing in front of him, and waiting for him to say something. Anything.
“It’s okay. Maybe another time.” I crack and turn to leave.
“No. Wait. Come on.”
I’m not sure if I’m relieved or scared, but I turn back to him and let him lead me through to the back of the shop and then into a small hallway. “Where are we going?”
“To mine. I don’t want to have our conversation in the middle of my shop.”
Conversation, no. Happy to fuck me there, yes.
I roll my eyes at where my mind goes and shake that memory away.
Jayce leads me through the hall and up the stairs to his apartment. It has that new carpet smell, combined with salt and the sea. Something about it is comforting, and my nerves seem to settle a little.
At the top of the stairs, he opens the door, and we head into his apartment.
I’m struck immediately by how light and inviting it is. Light wood floors run throughout the open-plan space, and there are splashes of colour and furniture in different areas to help break up the room and denote their specific function or use.
What I’m drawn to is the floor-to-ceiling windows at the end of the room, providing an uninterrupted view of the beach and surf.
It brings a smile to my lips. It’s like a perfect postcard view like the photographs in the gallery around the corner.
