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“This is incredible,” The words slip out as I stand and just watch.
“It’s the highlight of the place. I’ve spent a lot of time around the world, and waking up to a view of the ocean is something I didn’t want to sacrifice by moving in here. So, I made sure I had everything I wanted in this place.”
“Because you want this to be your home?”
“It is my home, Zennor.” His voice is resolute, and I think I finally believe him. And here I was, putting some claim on a place I didn’t even want to return to.
“I’m sorry, Jayce. I had no right to tell you to leave. All I can say is that I said and did everything out of hurt and pain that I’ve held onto for a very long time.”
I keep looking out at the view and sip my coffee.
Not looking at him makes it easier to speak the truth.
“Did you come here to apologise?” he asks. I can feel his presence next to me—both of us standing before the beautiful view.
“Yes. And to see if I can do this—be in the same place with you without wanting to crack and crumble and only feel anger.”
“And?”
“The view helps. So does the coffee.”
“Do you want to talk?”
Do I?
Like his offer for a drink, I want to rain check, but that’s not helping me anymore. And I need a win—something positive.
“I’m not sure where to start.” My eyes stay fixated on the sea, even though I can see Jayce turn towards me from my periphery.
“Well, how about I start. But I need you to look at me.”
My eyes shut, and I dig down for the courage to hear whatever he has to say—face to face.
“You’ve done everything you can to be a bitch, be mean, and ruin anything we had between us. Your behaviour makes me question who you really are now. All because of a grudge you kept for twenty years. If you think a coffee and an apology is enough, it’s not.”
I stand and take his words because he speaks nothing but the truth.
“However, I don’t want to walk away from you. I can’t. And I doubt I ever will.”
CHAPTER26
ZENNOR
Now
“What does that mean?” My stomach drops, and my heart thuds in my chest.
“I don’t know. But this, between us, is a mess.” His tone is sour and sounds wrong to my ears.
“And I’m sorry for that. I realise I’ve handled all of this poorly, and believe it or not, I regret the pain I’ve caused you. I thought that’s what I needed. To get back at you for what you did-”
“That’s just it. I did nothing wrong.”
“Not in my eyes. You left. You ran away instead of saying goodbye. And you are the reason something so horrific and so painful happened to me.” I pause, swallowing down the fear I remember from that day. “Then, everything got mixed up in my head and my heart. Holding onto that pain and anguish was easier than feeling weak. I didn’t reach out or ask for help because I thought I needed to prove to myself that I didn’t need you, and that I could put it all behind me and be strong. But I couldn’t. I needed you to be with me, and you weren’t.”
“If you’d have just reached out, emailed, something.” He sounds exasperated, and in a way, I am too.
“But I didn’t!” I scream. “I was a heartbroken teenager thinking she was doing everything she could to move forward.” I catch my breath and turn back to the window and the view that seems to bring a calm I’m in need of.
