I chuckle. “Not really. I had what I thought was heartburn sometimes and a little nausea but nothing that bad. I just thought that I was struggling with my mother’s death and depression. I couldn’t seem to drag myself out of my funk. Then I realized I missed my period and I got a test. Actually, about six tests.”
He grins. “Wanted to make sure it was conclusive?”
I chuckle wryly. “Something like that. They were all positive.”
“Hard to argue with that.”
Her brow lifts. “Yep. So I made a doctor’s appointment and between my new job, my doctor’s appointments and trying to settle everything with my mother’s estate, I didn’t have time to think about anything but making it through the days. Then after I had this little guy here, I ended up with postpartum depression. I struggled with just getting up, letting alone taking care of Edison. I finally had to see a therapist. I took some anti-depressants for awhile while I went through therapy.”
Finn studies me silently. Then he sighs and reaches out to touch my shoulder lightly. “I could have helped you, Candy. Why didn’t you reach out to me then?”
“I just needed to get through it all. I could barely hold it together. Everything was so confusing and scary. I just needed to focus on getting better. It was only after I finally started feeling better that I started thinking I should have talked to you as soon as I found out I was pregnant. It was all such a mess. I know it’s not an excuse but it’s the only reason I’ve got.”
I drop my head and stare at my fingers.
“What made you come back here, Candy?”
I lift my eyes. “I know it’s not fair, but I really needed to tell you. The guilt when I finally woke up was so bad that it was just eating me alive.”
He nods his head. “I see. What exactly did you hope would happen, angel?”
I firm my lips and groan. Thrusting my fingers into my hair, I drag at it. “I don’t know. I just wanted to let you know.”
He nods his head slowly and then his green eyes drift down to where Edison is snoring lightly on his shoulder. His harsh features soften. “I wasn’t sure what I wanted until I saw this little guy and you. I have been trying to find you since you took off. This little man has pretty much sealed the deal for me, Candy. I wanted to find you and keep you. Now I want that plus Edison. I want the whole family thing.”
My mouth drops open.
He grins. “That isn’t what you were expecting is it?”
“No. I mean…it’s great that you want to spend time with your son but I think he’s too little for you to have him overnight. And I never thought you’d forgive me for what I kept from you. Let alone that you’d want the two of us!”
“Sounds insane, doesn’t it? But it’s the truth. I’ve lived alone since I was a young man. I’m thirty-five years old, Candy. I know what I want out of life. When I see something I go after it. I’m too old to play games.”
My mouth clicks shut. “But you can’t know that it will work out!” I protest.
He shrugs and then stills immediately when Edison wriggles and groans. “There’s no guarantee for anybody. But I think we have more going for us than most.”
“Because we have a ready-made family?”
“No. Because I know that I can’t live without you. I’ve tried and I’ve walked around in a fog for the last couple of years. It was hell wondering where you were and if you were alright. I don’t want to go through that again. I want to sleep with you wrapped around me every night and this little guy in his nursery down the hall. I want to have a baby brother or sister for him and I want to make sure that you’re taken care of if you struggle like you did last time.”
Tears sting my eyes and I sniffle. “I can ’t ask you to take something like that on. We just met again. We had a one-night stand before. We don’t know each other at all.”
“So we get to know each other. It’s not going to change my mind. But if it makes you feel better, I’m okay with it.”
I nod my head. “Okay. But I’m not going to let you make me any promises right now. We need to get to know each other.”
“I want you to move in with me,” he growls.
I start to shake my head but he holds his hand up. “Don’t say no. I want to be involved with raising my son. And I think it’s only fair to be able to get to know the two of you under the same roof. If it doesn’t work out then it doesn’t work out and we know.”
I settle in for an argument but I have a feeling I’m not winning this one.
One way or another, Finn has a mulish set to his firm mouth that tells me he’s not giving in on this.
And I’m not even that sure I want to win this one.