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I take a deep breath and turn to look at him. “Haddie’s in labor. Last I heard, her water broke and she’s having contractions every three minutes. It’s just weird to think that soon I’ll be a dad.” I look at my feet and shake my head. “I helped create a life and I don’t remember doing it. I’m a piece of shit.”
“Chris, I OD’d and my kid found me. We’ve made mistakes and have done things that we can’t take back. I know Jonah will be in therapy a long time because of what he saw, but he’s a strong kid, and together we’ll work on our father/son relationship and healing the damage I caused. Your son or daughter won’t know what you did, and from what I’ve gathered, Haddie isn’t the type of girl who’s going to throw that in your face.” He grabs my shoulder, shaking it. “One day at a time.”
My phone peeps and I see it is a text from Dad.
Dad: Haddie’s getting ready to push! The baby is coming.
I smile even through the nausea is present. My dad has been looking forward to this since the day he learned he was going to be a grandpa. It just tells me what kind of woman Haddie is—she’s let Dad be involved in her whole pregnancy. He’ll get to see my child being born.
I thought about flying home, but her family hates me, and I didn’t want to cause any unnecessary stress to anyone. So instead, I’ll be sitting here waiting to hear the news.
“One day at a time,” I repeat his words. “I feel like I should go home.” The closer Haddie got to her due date I began to think about going home, beginning to make amends with everyone I’ve hurt. “I want to have a relationship with my kid, but I can’t thank you enough for everything. The job, the place to stay, and your friendship.”
We share a bro hug and head out to the living room where I stare at my phone, waiting to hear about the arrival of the baby.
My phone pings an hour later and it’s a video from Dad. A screaming baby appears and I hear Dad’s excited voice. “It’s a girl, Madison Anne.” Out of nowhere tears begin to stream down my face. Dad’s face appears on the video and he’s got tears too and his smile is so damn big. “She’s beautiful, son. Seven pounds and two ounces, and twenty inches long. Haddie did so great.” The phone moves again and Abby, her big sister appears on the screen and then she points it back to the baby. “Meet your daughter, Chris. She’s absolutely perfect and we hope you come meet her in person soon.” Dad pops back up. “I hope you’ll come home, but not until you’re ready. I love you so much and I’ll keep an eye on our little angel, Madison.” The video ends and the screen goes to black.
The phone falls to the ground as I cover my face. The fact that Haddie named our daughter after my mom means so fucking much to me. Once I get control of myself I pick up my phone and watch the video over and over.
Haddie
I let myself inside my apartment and find the living room empty. Madison could be napping, so I don’t call out. I just head down the hall to her nursery. I smile at the sight in front of me. Our daughter is passed out in her crib and Chris is asleep in the rocking chair.
Abby texted me earlier to tell me that she and Ben had run into Chris and Madison on a walk. She’d sent me an adorable picture of Chris with our girl in a carrier on his chest. They both looked so cute, my heart melted—it is now my screensaver.
I don’t want to wake them, so I head back out to the living room. I grab my backpack and set it on the couch. In the kitchen I grab myself a glass of lemonade and carry it back out to the living room.
Once I grab my laptop out of my bag, I pull out my notebook and get busy charting the information from my visits today. I love what I do so much already. I’m not so naïve to think I will always love it, but for now I’m going to enjoy every second.
I am almost done with my second chart when I hear footsteps. Chris comes walking into the living room with Madison snuggled to his chest. He is so hot, but when he’s holding our daughter, he’s so beautiful it makes my heart hurt. They both have soft sleepy faces. “Hey.” I stand up and walk toward them.
“Why didn’t you wake me?” he asks as he hands her to me. I push up on my toes and give him a kiss on the lips.
“You were sleeping so peacefully I didn’t have the heart to wake you.” I sit back down and cross my legs criss-cross applesauce. Madison grabs at my t-shirt and I smile down at her. I swear that once my nipple is out, she’s latched onto it. Chris sits down next to me and rubs his hand over her head. “Did you guys have a good day?”
He wraps his arm around my shoulders. “Yeah. We went for a walk and she fell asleep on our way back here. She was kicking her legs the whole way to the path on the riverfront. How was your day?”
“It was good. I only saw four patients today and I’m almost done charting on the second patient.” Madison releases my nipple and I switch sides. “What sounds good for dinner?” I ask as I lay my head down on his shoulder.
“Why don’t I take my girls out? We can go somewhere family friendly,” he says with his lips pressed to my forehead.
“That sounds good.” Once Madison is done nursing, I spend a few minutes getting snuggles with her.
Chris takes her from me. “I’ll take her so you can finish.” They disappear into my room, and I hear the TV click on. I turn back to my computer and get back to charting.
Chris has a hold of my hand and in his other is the carrier with our daughter chattering happily to herself. The host of Tacobar holds the door open as we reach the door. We step inside and for some reason feel nervous. I don’t know, maybe since this is our first real outing as a family.
I even took the time to try and look good. I let my natural waves hang down around my shoulders. I’m wearing a tank top maxi dress the color of raspberries, and a pair of black flip-flops. I didn’t bother with makeup except for a little gloss.
Chris looks hot in his khaki shorts and short sleeved button up shirt. He’s got a pair of black chucks on his feet. His tan muscles are on display, making my mouth water. We’re led to a table with a contraption for us to set Madison’s carrier.
I love that he keeps her by him. Our waiter comes and we both order raspberry lemonades. He sets chips and salsa down on the table and then leaves us. “How close are you to finishing the house? I know you said you didn’t have much left.”
Violet told me that Chris is super talented and they’re wanting him to continue helping them flip houses.
“The inside just needs to be wiped down and this week they’re wrapping up the outside. Diego already showed me the next house. It’s gonna be a lot of work, but this is my first project with them from the beginning. I’m excited about it.” He takes a drink. “It feels good to know I’m actually good at things.”
The waiter interrupts us and takes our order, and then walks away. “You are good at a lot of things.” I know I’m snapping at him, but I don’t like the way he said that. “You’re a great son, an amazing father, and a good boyfr—um, you know, whatever we are.”
