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While she rolls around on the floor, pausing to try and pull her legs into her mouth, I am looking at the pictures of the house we just finished flipping. I’ve spoken to Violet and Diego, and once the landscaping is finished, they’re going to have the house appraised, and then I told them I’d be willing to put an offer on it.
I made Violet promise to keep it quiet until I was ready, but honestly, it is perfect. I hope that when it’s ready I can ask Haddie to move in with me. It feels quick, but Haddie’s parents got together fast, and the only reason mine didn’t was because Dad wanted to be done with law school first.
I grab the backpack thingy to strap Madison to my chest, and it takes a few tries to get it on right. Madison watches me from her blanket on the floor and I smile. “Are you Daddy’s girl?”
“Da, da, da, da,” she says with a smile.
“You better start saying Momma soon, baby girl. We don’t want her getting jealous, do we?” I ask and she gives me a sweet smile. She’s got one little tooth that just popped through. It is so adorable, except now she’s a little drool monster. “Should we go for a walk?” She kicks her legs and waves her arms.
I put the backpack on and then I pick her up. It takes me a minute to get Madison strapped in securely. I stand in front of the mirror and take it all in. I’m in basketball shorts, a t-shirt, tennis shoes, and a backward baseball hat—my baby girl is strapped to my chest, and I realize something else. I’m just fucking happy.
With a few taps of my phone, I hold it up and take a picture. I send the picture to Haddie.
Chris: We miss you and hope you’re having a good day.
I slip my sunglasses on and we head out. While we walk, I make sure I adjust Madison’s hat and then turn on one of the sports podcasts I listen to. We walk toward the waterfront, and I smile as she kicks her little legs. Thankfully it’s not too hot out. We walk along the path and I notice that baby girl loves to take everything in.
A guy walks by with a cigarette and my mouth waters. I quit smoking a couple of weeks ago because I don’t want that shit around my daughter, and cancer is obviously hereditary. It wasn’t really hard because I’d already cut down quite a bit, but every now and then I want one.
We stop at a bench and I pull her out of the little carrier and kiss her cheek. “Hey, pretty girl,” I say and stand her up on my legs. She smiles at me, and just like every other time I’m filled with nothing but joy.
A breeze runs over us and goosebumps pop up all over my skin. Madison leans toward me, like she’s hugging me. “Aww…sweet girl. I love you so much.” I close my eyes and savor this moment as I hug her tightly.
I open my eyes and freeze. Abby and her man, Ben, are standing there. I stand up and walk toward them. “Hey guys.” I shake Ben’s hand and lean down and kiss Abby’s cheek.
“Hi, Chris. Please hand me that baby.” She opens and closes her hands in a fast motion.
“Man, you better do it before she rips her right from your arms,” Ben says, smiling down at her.
I hand Madison to Abby and she snuggles her close. “She’s getting so big,” she says before kissing the top of her head. “How are you, Chris? You look great.”
“I’m good, thanks.” I look around me. “Where are the kiddos?” They’ve got four gorgeous kids.
“They’re with my sister today. Dylan showed me the pictures of the house you guys are flipping. It’s sick.”
I can’t help but feel a bit of pride. “I’m actually considering putting in an offer myself. Don’t say anything to Haddie, I want to surprise her.”
“We won’t say anything. Is she working today?” Abby asks, lifting Madison into the air, smiling up at her.
“Yeah, she said she’d be done around two. Little miss and I thought some fresh air would be good.”
Abby smiles at me. “Well, I never thought I’d see the day that you’d be wearing a baby.” I take Madison and she helps me get her little legs through the holes. “It’s a great look.”
They head in the opposite direction of Madison and me. The closer we get to the apartment I can feel that she’s asleep. Once we get back, Lance, Haddie’s downstairs neighbor steps out of his place. “What’s up?” I say and stop at the bottom of the steps.
I appreciate the guy standing back since he’s smoking. “Nothing, just taking a smoke break.” He looks down at Madison. “She’s knocked out.” He flicks his ash. “I’ll let you get her upstairs. Tell Haddie I said hey.”
“Sure, take it easy.” I head upstairs and use the key Haddie gave me. Once inside, I head right to Madison’s room. I carefully lift her out and lay her down in the crib. She immediately rolls to her side.
I take off the backpack and the carrier. She’s got a rocking chair in the corner, so I drag it over to the crib and sit down. I watch the steady rise and fall of her chest and am thrust back to the day she was born.
I keep looking at my phone, last I heard was that Haddie’s water broke and her contractions were three minutes apart. I’m going to be a dad; I’m going to be someone’s father. That thought has me rushing to the toilet, emptying the contents of my stomach.
I flush the toilet and grab a washcloth, getting it wet and then wiping my face. I brace myself on the sink and look at myself in the mirror. I’m beginning to look like the guy I used to be before I started abusing everything.
During treatment I began doing yoga, and then began running every day on the beach. Paired with eating healthy, it didn’t take long before I’d lost the swollen look and the gut. My eyes are no longer bloodshot and I’ve got a major farmer tan from working outside.
“Hey, you okay?” Nathan, my roommate says from the bathroom doorway.
