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We remained like this, in silence, for several long moments before she pulled away. My fingers remained tangled in her gorgeous hair, and I stared into her eyes—bloodshot from previous tears shed before I arrived and didn’t notice until now.
She always cried alone when she thought no one was around to hear her. Astrid never wanted to be a burden to anyone, and now I understood why.
The pad of my thumb ran along her jaw. Her eyes widened a bit. They flicked to my mouth for the briefest of moments, but just long enough for me to feel that magnetic pull between us. This was the worst possible time. I could pick any other—I should choose another.
My thumb brushed her bottom lip, making just enough contact to pull it in the most tempting of ways. I leaned in.
“I have my own confession to make,” I said before my lips brushed hers.
The contact was feather-light and tentative at first—just enough to tease and tempt with my intent, as well as allow her to push away before I continued. Astrid’s breath hitched.
My fingers curled around her neck, tangling in her hair and pulling hard against me until my mouth claimed hers in a desperate hunger sizzling under my skin and down my spine. She moaned quietly, the sound stoking the heat of desire building in me, and her body melded against mine, falling into the connection threading us together.
Years of denial and yearning broke through the barrier that’d kept us apart all this time, fuzzing my mind as I took in her taste and smell, searing its delicious existence into my mind where it’d never be forgotten.
I was the first to break the kiss, my breath heavy. Astrid’s eyes fluttered open, her lips still parted with a hitch to her breathing, and cheeks pink. “I don’t want this to come off as me capitalizing on your vulnerability and willingness to open up to me. That wasn’t my intent. I just couldn’t keep this to myself anymore.”
Her mouth moved, but nothing came out.
My lips twitched with amusement. “I won’t pressure you to decide now. I want you to think on it first. Whatever decision you make, I’ll respect it.”
Astrid’s mouth closed, and she wordlessly nodded.
I stood, as difficult as it was to release her and give her space, I wasn’t going to push this. I’d done this all in a way that I’d rather not have. There were so many better ways I could have made my intentions and desires known. But what was done was done. And if she was willing to give me a chance after some time with her own thoughts, then I would work my ass off to make sure she understood just how amazing she was to me, and how much she deserved to be loved.
And with whatever god out there listening as my witness, I’ll love her until my last breath.
Chapter Twelve
Astrid
My fingers drummedon the table, echoing through the quiet house. Everyone was off doing their own things or working, giving me the quiet needed to get some early study time in for my online anatomy class starting up next week. Unfortunately, my brain couldn’t focus on such an important task.
No, instead, it wanted to replay the past few days, with all my interactions with Tyr and Diego. Especially when they’d each kissed me.
Heat inflamed my cheeks and pooled between my legs. I groaned and hid my face in folded arms.Stop! Stop! Stop!If I thought about that, I’d start fantasizing… again. And those two really liked to star in my dirtiest dreams.
What am I going to do?Logically, the answer should be clear. Tyr was a resident, and therefore off-limits. And I’d been crushing on Diego for years. I should be rejoicing he was interested. But no, I was foolishly conflicted instead.
How long had I not been seeing the signs? He was always so flirty. Was I mistakenly not seeing that as his attempts to get me to see things had changed? But how would I have known that, when he was always so forward with those he ended up dating?How could I not have seen his flirtatious nature as just being one of his quirks?
I ran my fingers through my hair. Did these questions matter? He’d made his intentions clear now, and he left the rest in my hands to choose.
But my heart was tempted by someone else now, and I didn’t understand why. There was something fascinating about Tyr, but it wasn’t like I knew him all that well—even if a part of me felt like I had known him for longer than a week and a half. And hell if I wasn’t aware of how odd this last week and a half had been since he showed up.
From Carrie’s sudden progress, to my dreams, it was like life was throwing me signals I didn’t understand how to interpret.Or I’m just trying to make sense of things that aren’t even connected.
I rested my forehead in the palm of my hand.What I wouldn’t give to ask Leif. He is always good at helping me sort out my thoughts.
I blinked.Who the hell is Leif?
A chair slid across the floor. “You look like you’re about to make a decision that will either cure world hunger or make the planet explode.”
I jerked my head up. Aya sat next to me, hands clasped neatly in front of her. “Oh, hey.”
Her eyebrow spiked. “What’s eating you?”
I sighed, and my shoulders drooped. “I don’t know how to put it into words.”
