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“Not at all. Take all the time you need. We’ve got it here. If we need anything, we have your number, and we’ll call.”

I tell them goodbye and grab my things, heading out to my car to cry alone. I want to work, to get my mind on something productive, but if this keeps happening, it’s no longer my safe space.

The only place I can think of is at home, locked in my room, acting like the outside world doesn’t exist.

44

AIDEN

Acouple days after the social media explosion, frustration fills every fiber of my being. I can’t help the feeling, given that Josephine wants nothing to do with me. Any attempt I make to talk to her about the situation never earns a response from her. All I get is radio silence.

I’m losing hope at this point, and I don’t know what else to try. I want Josephine to know how I feel about her. I want her to know that the marriage may have started out fake to benefit us both, but through it, I have come to love her for real.

I’ve done everything I can to talk to her at this point. Hell, even showing up at her house doesn’t work because she never seems to be there. She’s going so far out of her way to avoid me she won’t even comehome.The realization hits me deep down and hollows out a hole in my heart and a pit in my stomach.

I can’t stand the thought of losing her. It terrifies me because I never thought I’d have such an attachment to someone. Now that I do, it’s scary to realize it could all be for nothing.

My finger hovers over Josephine’s name in my recent calls. Every part of me screams to touch it, to call again, hoping she answers so I can tell her exactly how I feel. But the hollow feeling returns every time I think about pressing the button. She won’t answer, anyway.

I decide to tap on Cameron’s name instead. I pray he can pull me out of this mind frame I’m in, even if it is just to distract me somehow. I listen to the phone ring. Finally, the other end of the line opens up.

“Hello?” Cameron’s voice rings clearly through the phone. Relief falls over me in a small way, thinking how nice it is to have someone answer for once.

“Hey Cameron, how are things?” I ask him, trying to spark a casual conversation.

“They’re good, Aiden, but I am guessing you didn’t call to hear what’s going on with me. I have seen things all over social media. What’s on your mind?” Cameron responds, blunt but sincere.

God damn it. Straight to the point.

“Honestly, I’m in a world of confusion,” I say very simply. There’s a silence on the other end of the line for a few moments before his voice returns, and he finally responds.

“Okay, Aiden, I’m listening. What’s going on?”

“I wish it were simple to explain. To sum it up, yes. As you know, it wasn’t a real marriage. But the problem is that somewhere along the way, I fell for her. When it came out on social media, it not only devastated her, it humiliated her as well. She wants nothing to do with me now, and I don’t blame her. I just don’t know what to do, man. I don’t want to lose her,” I stammer.

There’s silence yet again on the other end. Until finally, he sighs. “Okay, why are you telling me this and not her?” His response is so matter of fact and to the point, but it’s a fair question.

“She won’t talk to me. I’ve tried calling and texting and even gone to her house. She filled a part of me that I didn’t know needed filling. Something that I didn’t even know I was missing, and I’m terrified to go back to living without her.”

“Okay, so let’s figure out a way to get her back into your life. It’s apparent to me that you really do have feelings for her, and I hate to see you hurting. There has to be some way to get through to her,” Cameron responds genuinely.

I sit quietly, thinking for a moment.How? I’ve exhausted pretty much every option. How can I possibly get in touch with her?

“If anything, I just want to make things right. Between Josephine and me and with my parents. Obviously, I hope she can forgive me. But at the end of the day, I just need to make things right. I want her to know I’m not the reason it came out. She needs to know I didn’t do this to her, so she doesn’t go around hating me forever.”

“So let’s make things right. I might have a plan,” Cameron responds after a brief pause.

“What do you have in mind?” I ask with hundreds of questions now soaring through my mind.

“Her parents own a coffee shop, correct? She works there, too, right?”

“Yeah, she does. I haven’t gone there again because I already caused her enough issues. I don’t want her to be even angrier because I showed up babbling like an idiot in front of everyone she works with,” I say.

“So, then, cause the best sort of scene.”

What? What sort of scene will be a good one? I have humiliated her enough.

“I’m not sure what you mean.” I pace up and down the living room now with anticipation, waiting for an explanation.

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