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“O-okay,” she muttered and opened the door moments later.
With the moon reflecting off the ocean and the soft glow from inside the pool house, I could see how disheveled she was. Her hair was tangled, and it was obvious she’d hastily put her clothes back on. Pink filled her cheeks, but there was something in her gaze that had me putting my arm around her shoulders and guiding her back to my parents’ house without saying a word.
Back in the kitchen, I locked the door and then made us each a cup of comfort herbal tea. Madalyn sat at the island, fiddling with her spoon as she kept her eyes locked on the contents of her mug rather than looking at me.
“I’m not going to push,” I told her when the silence became too much for me. “I just need to know if you are okay.”
Her teeth sank into her bottom lip for a long moment before she nodded. “I’m good.”
“Then why are you fighting tears, sweetheart?”
One shoulder lifted. “I don’t know. He just seemed…different. You know. After.”
“Different, how?”
Another half shrug. “He wasn’t the same. Before, he was sweet, told me things that made me feel special. Then after, he was…different. Like he was a completely different guy.” She swallowed hard and cupped her hands around her mug. “Maybe I’m overthinking it. It was my…first time. I thought it would be different…afterward. Like, there would be cuddling, or he’d kiss me again. Or…he’d tell me he loved me again.”
Alarm bells were ringing louder in my head, but I put a smile on my face to reassure her. “Maybe he was simply nervous and didn’t know how to act. Guys are strange creatures, Maddie. If it was his first time too…” I paused, disliking that we were having this conversation, but what the fuck else was I supposed to do? “Perhaps he was just embarrassed, or he didn’t know what to do with the emotions he was feeling. Everyone’s first time is different. They feel overwhelmed, embarrassed, even guilty.”
“I don’t feel guilty,” she said, ducking her head. “But I did feel overwhelmed. And I’m so embarrassed right now, it hurts. Please don’t tell Dad.”
“This will stay between the two of us,” I assured her. “But I think, to playthings safe, we should see a gynecologist soon and get you protected.”
“He wore a condom,” she mumbled, her face turning a deeper shade of pink.
Relief nearly made my knees weak, but I grasped the edge of the island and offered her a small smile. “Good, I’m glad he thought to protect you both. But I still think we should get you in to see the doctor. I’ll set up an appointment for when your dad and I get back from our honeymoon. We’ll make sure you’re healthy and have everything you need to ensure that you remain that way.”
Groaning, she covered her face. “Dad is going to be so weird about this.”
“No, I told you, this is between the two of us. He doesn’t have to know what doctor I’m taking you to unless you tell him yourself.” I took her hand and turned it over so we could lock fingers. “Until we get you in to see the doctor, though, will you promise me that you won’t let what happened tonight happen again? Please, Maddie. I’m not condoning you having sex at this age, but now that I know you have, I would feel so much better if you waited until we get you covered. Because it’s your body. That’s sacred, honey. As the woman who loves you, who will give her own life for yours, please don’t play games with something so special.”
Her entire face turned blood red, all the way to the tips of her ears. “I can promise that Mom. It’s not like it was all that great anyway. I mean…” She huffed and folded her arms around her body. “I thought it was going to be bright lights and this amazing feeling. But really it was barely a few minutes of discomfort and feeling embarrassed. And it was more secondhand embarrassment—for his sake, and not my own. I’ve been naked in front of other people before. We change in front of each other all the time at dance. But he was grunting and whining for maybe a minute, and just when it didn’t hurt as bad, he was just…done.”
I pressed my lips together, torn between being sympathetic and trying not to laugh. “That’s because you either had a stupid guy or a selfish one, Maddie. It’s too early to know which type Holden is, but time will tell. Until then, please keep things G-rated instead of X.”
“Like I said, it won’t be a problem.” She took a sip of her tea then finally met my gaze. “I’m sorry if I’ve ruined today.”
“You couldn’t ruin this day if you tried,” I said as I walked around the island to hug her. “Even if the entire world exploded around us, everything will still be perfect because I get to marry your dad.”
She laid her head on my shoulder and hugged me back. “I’m so glad you’re my mom now. I would have seriously disowned Dad if he hadn’t won you back. Banks would have too. Things are better when you’re around. You make life easier.”
“That’s what moms are supposed to do, Maddie,” I told her softly.
“Well, you’re the best.”
Movement drew my gaze to the door, where I saw my own mom standing there watching us. “I kind of learned from the best.”
Mom’s chin trembled. “I love you,” she mouthed, so as not to intrude on the moment I was having with my own daughter. After a moment of watching me with Madalyn, she turned and walked back the way she’d come, but not before I saw the glitter of tears in her eyes.
After we finished our tea, we went back upstairs. The sun was already coming up, and there were a million things that would have to get done before I would be able to step into my wedding dress. Instead of jumping right into the deep end, I made Maddie take a long, hot bath to ease any discomfort she might have. And then we just lay in my old bed and talked until there was a knock on my door.
“Breakfast,” Dad called. “You two girls get your butts downstairs and eat before it gets cold.”
“Be right there!” Sitting up, I pushed my hair back from my face and offered Madalyn my hand. “You ready?”
“To legally make you ours?” She gave me an odd look. “I think I’ve been ready for this a lot longer than you.”
My mind hit rewind and only stopped the moment I’d seen Jarrett Dawson for the first time. Part of me had been ready for this day since I met his hazel gaze across that café, while other parts of me had been fighting it all the way up until the very moment he’d placed an engagement ring on my finger. There had been instances of perfection and long stretches of agony. But all of it had led us to this day.
