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“Figured you caught the end of it.” He takes a deliberate sip of his drink, setting down the glass just hard enough it thuds against the wood. “I’m not going to apologize for protecting my family.”
“You don’t need to fight my fucking battles for me,” Sebastian says.
“You sure about that?” Cooper snorts. “How long were you planning on this lasting? As long as she wanted, right?”
“I told you already to shut the hell up about—”
“He’s right.” I blink past the sudden burning in my eyes. “Stop, Sebastian, he’s right.”
I stand in a rush, my chair scraping against the tile floor. I grit my teeth as I push open the screen door. Someone calls after me, and because of the blood rushing in my ears, I can’t tell who it is. Penny, probably. If I fuck up things for her and Cooper, I won’t be able to forgive myself.
The screen door slams, cutting me off from the rest of them. I hate that I’m running away again, but I need a moment to breathe. To think.
It’s dark, the last traces of sunlight lingering on the horizon. A light breeze makes goosebumps erupt on my arms. I cross them tightly and walk to the tree Tangerine got stuck in, leaning my forehead against the rough bark. It smells faintly of rot. I take a deep, shuddering breath. A tear escapes, running down my cheek. That morning feels so long ago. I wanted to kiss him so badly then, but I held back. I should have stuck with it, but instead I gave in to my own desires, and it all came crashing down.
It’s over.
It’s for the best.
A future with him would break my own future. I made the choice not to compromise that when I was sixteen, after my mother threatened to disown me if I truly decided not to have a marriage and children. I promised myself that if I had to pick between my career and love, I’d always choose my career. A guy like Sebastian—a good guy—deserves more than I can give.
It’s a clear night, the stars just starting to wink into existence. They feel farther away than usual. Distant and cold, the way they appear to most people, instead of friendly. The new moon means the sky is darker, too.
It’s fitting that I don’t have that comfort right now.
I sense Sebastian’s presence before I hear him. He wraps an arm around my waist, squeezing. “There you are.”
I turn into his arms. I should break away, put some distance between us, but I can’t force myself to move. He cups my cheek. His lips brush against mine tenderly.
I don’t deserve tender right now. I manage to ease away, but he stays close. The breeze ruffles through his hair. His presence, usually a comfort, feels oppressive. I can’t focus on anything but his hand, pressing against the bark next to my head, and the clean citrus of his scent.
I dig my teeth into my bottom lip. Even in the near-dark, I see the green of his eyes. They’re a rainforest, lush and layered.
His gaze is too intense. I look at my feet. I didn’t even realize that they were bare until now. Didn’t feel the grass underneath my feet, slightly cool in the chilled spring evening.
“Talk to me,” he murmurs.
I can’t help myself; I find his gaze again. I’ve loved his eyes since the very first moment I saw them, but right now, they’re just bringing me pain. Another tear slips down my cheek as my heart cracks, right down the middle. “I can’t.”
“Sure you can.”
I just shake my head, biting my lip so I don’t sob. I’d rather sink into the ground than betray a weakness that deep. “Your brother is right.”
He scowls; his voice is practically a snarl. “He was being a dick.”
“I’ve been an asshole to you. You’re allowed to be upset about that.”
“Mia—”
“You’ve been too fucking nice to me,” I snap. I take a deep breath, but it doesn’t calm my jackrabbiting heart. “He’s right, I have been stringing you along. Not—not to hurt you. But you’re allowed to be pissed about it.”
“I wanted to do this. If you think you’re forcing me into anything, stop.”
I shake my head. “You know what Izzy told me when she found out I was living here? You try too hard to be nice. To be you—this version of Sebastian that’s endlessly patient and lets his own wants and needs go by the wayside. I’ve taken advantage of that and I hate it. I fucking hate it.”
He runs his hand through his hair, tugging on the ends. “You didn’t take advantage of me.”
“Admit it.”
