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Soren lied to me. He knew of my father. Not only did he lie about the mating, about the fact that he was my Fated Mate, but he knew that my father was alive.
“Soren knew?”
He nodded, sending bile up my throat.
“I was trapped for ten years after we got ambushed in the Demon realm. They killed Mia, but they took me.”
My own eyes locked on his. There it was—that face I made now and then.
“When I returned, I was only a shadow of myself. Damn, girl, I need a drink. Do you have something around?”
“Vodka. It’s in the kitchen.”
“Let me Ice your hand. We’ll have a drink. I don’t want your forgiveness. I know it’s too late for that. But I owe you the truth.”
I nodded. It was late, my hand hurt, and my soul was bruised. Soren told me so many lies, not small lies or lies of omission. It wasn’t as if I asked him how many women he slept with or something crazy like that. All I wanted was for him to be honest. He knew my father was alive and would be there as part of his pack, and he decided I was too weak or unable to deal with the truth and didn’t deserve it.
Wow, what a mate.
Alistair found the bottle and opened the freezer. “There’s no ice, but this should do it.”
He found a bag of frozen French fries, wrapped it in a kitchen towel, and placed it on my hand.
With two drinks in front of us, sitting at the kitchen table, we looked at each other. My hand was killing me.
“Press it on there. It’ll pass soon. It’s probably broken, but it’ll heal. You are mated to him.”
“You were mated to Mom, too. Why the hate, why the lies?”
Alistair took a shot. And another one. He stopped and threw me a long glare.
“You look so much like her. Fuck, there’s not one day I don’t miss her. Losing a mate is the worse.”
“And growing up an orphan is so much fun. You said you returned after ten years. Did you ever consider I would profit from the presence of a father? A parent? Granny did her best, but she wasn’t my mother.”
Alistair shook his head and pushed his hair back. “When I returned, I was a mess.”
“No excuse.”
“I tried to come see you, but it was too difficult. I followed you and Ruby for over a year, every day. I pictured us talking, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it because you already looked like your mother. I couldn’t face you. I was fucked up, a dark shell filled with despair and alcohol. Killing made me feel alive, and I didn’t want that darkness in your life. You were precious to me. Other than that, I dreamed of Mia and got drunk. She died in my arms. I watched her soul leave her. Mia begged me not to let her die. It hurt. I was powerless. She wanted to go back to her baby girl. She loved you, Yana, with all her heart.”
“I could have used you in my life.”
“What do you want me to say, Yana? That I’m a fuck up. Yes, I am a fuck up. Do you want me to take the blame for your mother’s death? Okay, blame me, blame me for everything. I can’t turn back time, but I can ask you… no, I can beg you, stay away from Soren and the pack. Leave him.”
“We’re already mated.”
“Yes, but you’ll be free if you leave him now. You’re not bound in front of the gods yet. Only then your lifelines and souls will be irreversibly connected.”
“I don’t want to leave him. I love him.”
The words sounded weak. Did I still love him after all he did? After the lies he told me. After the things he hid from me.
“I asked him to let you be. He could have found another healer. You were not the only one.”
It was my turn to exhale. “He lied.”
“About me?”
