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“Goddess, this is impossible,” he grumbled.
“I can do it, you know.”
“No, I’ve got it.” Finally, after a few more failed attempts, a spark flew from the flint, landing on the stacked wood and igniting, the crackling and warmth slowly filling the room. He turned back to me, a smug smile settled on his lips. “Told you.”
“Well, I’m failing, can you help me?” My voice was low and raspy as I held up my arm weakly to him.
He chuckled. “Sure.” He sat beside me on the bed, gently cradling my arm in one hand while the other quickly removed my bracer. He worked silently, removing all my black armor, placing the pieces on the floor at the foot of my bed with gentle care. “Better?”
My heart pounded violently, daring me to make the move my mind was telling me to take.
Instead of answering him, I leaned forward, cupping his scratchy cheek in the palm of my hand. His body tensed under my touch as I stared into his intoxicating eyes, those forest-green irises igniting with a heat I remembered well.
My body ached to lean in, to feel that fire once again. I wanted it, I craved it in a way I never thought possible. I didn’t want to think, I wanted to forget about everything terrible that had happened. I wanted just one moment of unbridled joy before I ended the day. Nolan could give me that; we could give it to each other.
That was all I could think about—forgetting it all—as I leaned toward him, pressing my lips against his.
I groaned the moment they touched, deepening the kiss instantly. The heat, the desire flared to life in my core, flowing through me and snaking up every inch of my body, leaning me closer to him. My thoughts dulled, my mind only focused on one thing: tasting more, touching more, getting lost in Nolan. A low buzz hummed in my chest, that all-too-familiar stir jolting at me, igniting every little movement of our lips against each other. It was perfect, it was everything I had wanted. It was doing exactly what I needed; I was forgetting, getting lost in the pleasure.
Yet, after only a few seconds, he stiffened against me.
“Kas...” he mumbled, his hands flying to my shoulders, gently pushing at me. “Kas, stop.”
My body froze, my lips stilling against his. “Wh—what?”
“This isn’t right.” He leaned away, an unreadable mix of emotions crossing his handsome face. “You’ve been through so much…”
“Yes, and this is making me feel better.” I leaned forward. “Please, Nolan, help me feel better.”
I stared at him, pleading silently. It had all felt perfect, right, and beautiful, and he was pulling away. I needed him, I wanted him—did he not want me?
He closed his eyes, letting out a deep groan, shaking his head slowly, my throat closing at the simple movement. He stood, taking a few paces away and leaning against my desk.
“I can’t.” He looked down at me, his body still tense and rigid. “Not like this.”
Icy chills swept through me, the sting of his rejection piercing through the last shred of hope that I had given myself. Why did I think he would ever desire the broken, weakened mess that I was?
Fine, if he didn’t want me, then I didn’t need him—no matter how much my body still ached for his touch to return. I curled my arms around my torso, staring at him, waiting for him to run away. But he didn’t move, he just looked at me from his perch on my desk.
I didn’t like it, my skin crawling with each moment he stayed in the room.
“Why aren’t you leaving, then?” I growled, shooting him a withering stare that, in the past, had made others run away in fear. But not Nolan; he stood his ground, his fingers digging into the sides of my desk.
“Because I want to be here.” He refused to break eye contact no matter how much it made my skin crawl. “I won’t abandon you.”
“Your actions just now told a different story.” My insides squeezed at the immaturity in my words. I was better than this, but I didn’t make a move to retract my ignorance, my mind too exhausted to care.
“Just because I won’t take advantage of you, doesn’t mean I’m not here for you.” He crossed his arms. “I know you didn’t always like me, but give me some credit.”
My throat closed, guilt twisting at my insides. I had lashed out like a petulant child when he had done nothing but be kind to me, reverting back to my embarrassing habits from when he first arrived. He wanted to do right and treat me with respect. Somehow, I was surprised. His pulling away wasn’t a slight, it wasn’t a denial; it was protection, it was kindness. Why was I expecting something different?
Maybe because my last Alpha wouldn’t have been so considerate of my needs.
That thought slammed into me, stealing my breath and last shred of sanity. I stared down at my feet, rocking myself back and forth. Months of not seeing him, and yet his poisoned actions still ruined me. His choices forced themselves on me, reshaping how I viewed everything, even people he had never crossed paths with.
“I—I don’t…” I stammered, my throat tight and scratchy.
“Kasha, just lie down.” Nolan’s hand was heavy on my shoulder, pressing lightly, guiding me to lie down on the bed before he lifted my legs so I was curled up on my side.
