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There had been plenty of thoughts on my mind during the hectic days following the attack. Most of which had involved my future, where I wanted to go now that everything was said and done.
I catch him in the kitchen, having a cup of coffee and reading something on his phone.
“Hey,” I say.
He looks up, smiling at me. “Hey.”
I sit. “Can I talk to you for a second?”
He nods, setting his cup down and pushing his phone away.
“Of course.”
I lace my fingers in my lap, steadying myself.
“I’ve been thinking a lot recently about my future.”
He nods along. “I figured.”
“Since you have a lot going on and business to take care of with the Thomas’ youngest son, I was thinking of going away for a while.”
His brows knit together. “Going away? Where?”
“Well… I’m not too sure. I keep thinking back to the story you told me about how after high school you wanted to do your own thing. Explore and figure out who you are. And… well, I want to do that too. I’ve never left the States. I’ve never seen anything past Chicago. I want to.”
He leans over the table, grasping my hand in his. “Nella, you deserve everything you want and more. Explore, expand your horizons.”
I start to tear up and curse myself internally. I didn’t want to cry about this, I’d been determined not to. But here we are, of course.
“I’m going to miss you.”
He smiles gently at me, running a thumb over the back of my hand.
“I’ll be here when you get back.”
I swallow. “Will you?”
“Of course. I’m not going anywhere.”
I breathe out slowly. “I want you to know, Killian, that no matter what or where I go... my feelings for you—”
“And what feelings are those, Antonella?”
I smile softly, a single tear trailing down my cheek.
“That I love you. With all my heart.”
His eyes widen.
I hold out a hand before he can say anything. “Don’t. Just… I want to travel before I hear you say anything back, if you have anything to say, that is. At least for a few months if that’s okay with you.”
“Of course, it is. You don’t need to ask me that. You’re a free woman.”
“Really?” I tease him.
He chuckles. “Yeah, as free as you want to be at least.”
I squeeze his hand in my own, hoping like hell that by the time I get back, he still wants me. I don’t want to know his answer mainly because I know that whatever he said, it would make me want to stay. Whether he reciprocates my feelings or breaks my heart.
