AllFreeNovel
Share Us
And before I can change my mind, I lay it all out for her. “I haven’t been honest with you–well–completely honest, that is. Because I… I’ve been… well, manipulating you from the start.”
“What do you mean?” she asks, her voice painfully quiet.
“My mother sent me to Rosehill to keep an eye on you and your family–to ensure you, and they, wouldn’t try to wiggle out of the agreement. I was mad about the whole situation, and at first, I took my anger out on you–that part I already told you, and it’s true. But I didn’t just treat you so horribly out of frustration. I… made a scene in the library because I knew it would escalate the tension between our families. I had you give me head to test how far I could push your obedience. And in New York…” I falter, unable to confess my sickening crime against her.
“Did you… intend for those men to…?” Silvia’s voice trembles with unshed tears, and her unfinished question lances through my heart like a fatal blow.
“No! God, no.” My face twists in revulsion that she could think me capable of that.Then again, didn’t I violate her by what I did?“Silvia, I never should have slept with you because I knew it would force your father’s hand. I took your virginity that night with the intention of ruining your chances of finding another match.”
A deep sadness fills her eyes, and a single tear slides down her cheek. “I was ready to marry you. So why say you love me when you didn’t mean it? What could you possibly gain?”
“I did it to make your father push our wedding date forward. But you kept quiet, so my plan didn’t work. And my moth–”
I cut myself short, closing my eyes and swallowing hard. If I was going to do this right, I needed to own everything. I couldn’t push any of the responsibility off on my mother. Because as much as she’s the one who drove my actions,I’mthe one who hurt Silvia.I’mthe one who chose to follow orders.
“I knew I had to try again. To make your father see I’d taken your virginity.” I can barely bring myself to look her in the eye, and when I do, I can see the depth of my betrayal reflected in her horror.
“The night after the botanic gardens,” she breathes, tears flowing more freely now. “You… meant for my father to find us? Did you go into the night intending to break my curfew?”
A lead weight in my stomach, I nod.
“Why?” Silvia croaks before stifling a sob.
“To protect my family,” I murmur, wanting to die a thousand deaths rather than see the pain I’ve caused.
“What does that even mean?” she demands, brushing away her tears angrily.
“My family’s been in conflict with the Zhivoder Bratva for years, and we’re losing the war. My mother believes that by uniting our families, we might have a chance of surviving. Your family is powerful–one of the strongest in the nation–especially when it comes to weapons. Which we sorely need… But after what happened with your brothers, we knew forging an alliance would be tricky. And the longer we delay, the more likely my family will lose the war.”
Silvia grows silent, her troubled face impossible to read.
“So, what I thought we might be building together, the connection I thought we had… it was all just for show?”
The hurt in her voice strikes me to my core, and before I can think about my actions, I’m out of my seat and rounding the edge of the table to kneel before her. She leans away from me, even as she turns to face me fully, and I grasp her hands as I look up into her eyes. Silently, I implore her.
“I’m so sorry, Silvia. I know what I did is unforgivable, and I hate myself for hurting you. But I want to do better. I want to be completely honest with you because I really do want to try and figure this out together. That night, after the botanic gardens, you said you think we might have a real shot at happiness if we can be honest with each other, if we can talk about the hard things that scare us instead of shutting down or running away. And that’s what I’m trying to do now.”
Pulling her hands to my chest, I draw Silvia closer, willing her to believe me. And my heart twinges at the devastation marring her striking features.
“Somewhere along the way, this did become real for me. Our connectionisreal. It’s stronger than anything I’ve ever felt before. And I want that potential you could see in us to become our reality.”
I fall silent, hoping to find some understanding in her face, even a small sign that there’s a chance. But she remains quiet and deathly pale, her hazel eyes dark with emotion.
“I understand if you can’t forgive me,” I murmur, my chest tightening painfully as I hang my head. “And after everything I’ve done, the best I can do is try and do right by you now. So it’s up to you, Silvia. You have the right to decide if you want to give me another chance.”
I memorize the feel of her fingers enveloped in my hands because she hasn’t taken them from me yet. Then I force my eyes up to hers once more. “I’ll call off the wedding if that’s what you want—break the contract and force my mother to accept that decision. I know I don’t deserve you; more than anything, I want you to be happy. But if you let me, I want to try to be the man you deserve.”
Silvia studies me for an agonizing minute, her eyes searching deep within my soul. And I’m sure she’s trying to find my lie. The new truth I haven’t told. But I have nothing left. I’ve laid it all out there for her, exposed myself in a way I’ve never dared with anyone.
And as the seconds tick by, my last shreds of hope fade away.
“I understand why you did it,” she says finally, her voice edged with anger and hurt.
“You do?” That’s more than I expected, honestly.
Silvia nods. “In some ways, we’re more alike than I first realized. We’re both bound by duty, driven to protect our families, no matter the cost. You can’t help who your mother is, any more than I can change my father.”
I’m shocked that Silvia could cut right down to it.
