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Kieran is the first to meet my gaze, and I feel myself nodding at him as his eyes move over me. Ryan does the same a moment later, and then all three of them walk toward me.
“Madden.” Ryan holds out his hand, and I shake it. “You’re looking good, brother.”
“Really good.” Kieran doesn’t bother with a handshake, pulling me in for a hug instead. It surprises me, but I guess it shouldn’t. He’s never been a man to hold a grudge, even if I’d convinced myself they’d all come to hate me.
“Same to both of you.” I look them over, noting the subtle ways time has changed them.
“It looks like the service is about to start,” Kieran observes, slapping me on the shoulder. “Let’s catch up after.”
I nod, and Zoe takes one of Kieran’s hands and one of mine as we move to our seats for the graveside service. The pastor begins with a prayer and then fondly recounts the life of Jacqueline Adler and all the people her love touched in her time on earth.
The service lasts an hour, and all too soon, her casket is lowered into her final resting place. Zoe tosses one yellow flower onto the top, and the four of us stand side by side in silence until the sun begins to set.
“Madden, do you think she has her angel wings yet?” Zoe looks up at me with tired eyes.
I reach down and touch her nose, forcing a smile. “If anyone has her angel wings, it’s definitely her.”
She nods like she suspected as much and then glances at Kieran and Ryan. “Do you want to come see the mural we made on the playhouse? Grandma said it was a work of art.”
Kieran grins and glances at me tentatively. “I’d love to see it.”
“You guys have a place to crash?” I ask.
Kieran shakes his head. “We just got into town. Figured we’d get a hotel.”
“Can they come stay with us?” Zoe pleads.
“We have some spare rooms,” I offer. “You’re more than welcome.”
Ryan glances at Kieran, and something seems to pass between them before they both nod. “That’d be cool. I’d like to see where you live now.”
“This is a nice situation you got out here,” Kieran observes.
It’s late, and Zoe has long since gone to bed, but I’m grateful for Ryan and Kieran’s presence because I know if they weren’t here, I’d be too deep in my own thoughts.
“I like it here,” I tell them. “It’s quiet, but it suits me.”
“It always did,” Ryan smirks.
Kieran takes a seat beside me on the sofa, eyeing the joint I remove from my pocket. “Things are going good, though?”
I know what he’s really asking, and I’m not going to get defensive about it. “I’ve been off the opiates for five and a half years,” I assure him. “This is all I take for the pain now.”
He nods, relief flashing in his eyes as he watches me light up. “That’s what I like to hear, brother. Jackie kept us in the loop, but it’s good to see you doing well. This is all we ever wanted for you.”
“I know,” I answer quietly. “I was a prick. I fucked everything up, and I didn’t know how to fix it. So I guess I just thought it was better if I didn’t even try. I’m sorry.”
“All that matters is that you’re happy and healthy,” Ryan tells me. “The rest is just noise.”
“How’s the music scene?” I offer them each a joint, and they both take me up on it. “I’ve been following your tours over the years.”
Ryan shifts in his seat, and Kieran sighs. After I left, Ryan took over vocals, and the band has done well for themselves, but I want them to know it’s not a point of contention for me. I’m happy they kept at it.
“We’re throwing in the towel,” Kieran admits reluctantly. “It was fun while it lasted, but we’re fucking exhausted, and we all agreed it was time to do something else. This tour was our last, and we’ll be announcing it publicly in a few weeks.”
“I get it.” I nod. “I don’t know how you went after it as long as you did. That shit is intense.”
“Maybe we can play again while we’re here,” Kieran muses. “For old times’ sake.”
“I’m up for it if you are.” I shrug.
We fall into an easy conversation, settling in for the night. I tell them about the weed we grow here, what I’ve been doing since we parted ways, and then eventually, about Jackie’s last weeks. They talk about their visits and phone calls with her and how relieved they are that Zoe has a place with me.
Ryan tells me about his girl back in California and his plans to propose when he returns. Kieran fills me in on stories of their travels and says he’s still not sure what he wants to do, but he’s looking to settle down. The hours roll by, and inevitably, the conversation gets more serious.
