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It could be anything, really, but it still left me with no clue about when this event would take place.
I have to tell Gray.
No, I have to forget about it.
Unfortunately, at dinner time, I still couldn’t get it out of my head.
“Stop frowning. Don’t you like spaghetti? I made it extra juicy for you,” Mom said before taking a sip from herGrey’s—not Gray—Anatomycup.
“I prefer japchae, but this is fine,” I replied. “Eomma, what would you do if the man you love cheated on you?” I leaned forward, shoveling a mouthful of pasta, however, I was far too distracted to actually taste what I was chewing. I saw noodles that resembled chains instead, the tomato sauce now blood, with heart-shaped hotdogs scattered everywhere and without mercy.
My messy spaghetti mirrored my confusion, brokenness, and my emptiness.
“I have no idea how clinically crazy I can get, and that’s why I avoid commitment,” Mom explained, staining her cup with her red lipstick.
“I should be more like you, then.” I swallowed a tiny slice of hotdog, lowering my gaze as I recalled the cheating rumor Gray had mentioned before and the suspicious girls in class who were probably behind it. I swore I would fight them if I caught them doing their shenanigans again. Cat fights sounded less scary than my visions.
“Aigoo. Did Cole cheat on you?” Mom asked, her long eyelashes fluttering.
“Gray said—”Ack!My head felt like I was having an aneurysm. I dropped my spoon on my plate. My temples pounded so hard I could barely talk, and it radiated into my eyes. The force of it dug a hole into my brain, planting unwanted images before me. Another vision of the waterfall, but this time, no Gray Yoo—just a dark, yellow-eyed wolf running from the woods, howling at the sight of the empty ridge where Gray had stood.
Before I could find any more clues, the vision disappeared as quickly as ashes into thin air. I jolted back to the real world more confused than ever.
Mom expressed her short-lived concern about what had just happened. Eyes glued to me, she left her food untouched while she waited for me to return to my senses.
“What’s wrong, honey?” She checked my temperature with her hand before pushing a glass of water toward me, her brows wrinkling. “You don’t seem to have a fever, but you’ve been up too late watching your dramas. I’m going to disconnect the Wi-Fi after 11pmtonight so you have no choice but to get more sleep.”
Before I could say a word, Mom scurried to the kitchen to grab a pain reliever from one of the top drawers. I simply stared at her, dying to tell her about my visions and how much worse they had been since the last time, but I couldn’t find the right words to say it without actually freaking her out.
“I’m okay now,” I said, swallowing the lump in my throat as she placed the pill on a napkin next to my plate.
“Take it after eating,” she instructed. Her phone rang suddenly, and she was so swift to answer it in the spacious living room. “Tobias, what a surprise!” I heard her say as all her attention instantly shifted to the man on the other line. Sometimes, I wondered if her addiction to men and her lack of support for me were two of the reasons I could not move on from Cole. It always seemed like she was in a world of her own.
While she entertained the mysterious caller named Tobias, I stomped into my room and hid under my blanket, swallowing my tears like a tough girl.
Shortly, Mom texted me:
Honey, I’m leaving for a date. I’ll bring you back a dessert later, okay? You can eat it tomorrow morning. Now please, go to sleep early. XOXO.
Mom never checked back on me for the rest of the night. If only the boys from my BTS posters could come to life, the night wouldn’t have been intolerably depressing.
Bored but wide awake, I ended up trying to do something outrageous in lieu of reading books to sleep. I listed the details from my new vision in my pink journal:
Gray on a cliff, a waterfall on his opposite side, and a yellow-eyed wolf—larger than a Eurasian—suddenly appearing out of nowhere.
I wrote down some of the possibilities:
Possibility #1: The wolf wanted to feed on him. Get eaten or jump? Jump. That would be the only way to avoid a death more vicious than drowning.
Possibility # 2: He got bullied, and the wolf was just a coincidence. But then, who would bully him? He’s Gray Yoo. He’s the bully. Isn’t he?
Possibility # 3: Maybe it has something to do with his parents going on a business trip. Did he miss them? Got fed up with waiting?
Possibility # 4: Was he, perhaps, drunk?
Possibility # 5: If I were him, I would’ve fallen off a cliff by accident. Maybe he tripped or something.
Possibility # 6: It can’t be because of me, right? Because I had accidentally tainted his mind with the kind of books I read. If he happened to read Let Dai, which was a bit depressing and only slightly erotic, would that make him want to jump? Heol … He should be grateful it wasn’t as intimate as my other books.
