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“Well, two nights ago, you couldn’t seem to get enough of him after throwing yourself at me during your pool day, then he shows up and I cease to exist . . . till he’s not around again and then you’re back to me.”
“Are you kidding me?” I ball my hands into fists at my sides. How fucking dare he! I can barely contain my rage at this point. “You flirt with me over the years but then you literally fuck everything with tits, meanwhile you won’t even go fucking bowling with me or give me a passing glance?” I laugh, raising my hands in frustration. “It was a stupid bachelor auction, Ranger. I wasn’t marrying the guy. And once again,you,” I point my finger at him, poking him in the chest, “got to do it two years ago and it’s perfectly fine for women to fawn over you—throw themselves at you while you make a fucking fool out of yourself—but the second I want to join in and have fun, I’m chastised for it, and I’m what? Playing you? Meanwhile, you got your dick sucked in the parking lot when you were a bachelor.” His eyes grow wide. “Yeah, I heard about that. Lemme guess, it was the big-boobed blonde who was practically drooling over you all night?”
He stares at me, his shoulders falling as his chin drops down. He glances to his right, bringing his hand up to rub the back of his neck like he’s embarrassed.
“What?” I cross my arms over my chest. “Nothing to say now?”
He snaps his gaze back up toward me, only now his eyes are darker. He steps closer, then closer again, until he’s backed me against the side of his truck. He towers over me as my chest rises and falls with my anger.
“You’re right,” he says softly, his eyes darting back and forth like he’s searching mine for answers. “You’re right, Dolly. I—I do treat you like shit, I take you for granted, I blow you off, and I’m not a good friend.”
“That’s not wha—”
“No, it’s the truth.” He leans in closer, slowly planting his palms against the truck on either side of my face. The cool steel of his belt hits my exposed lower belly. “But the reality is, I shouldn’t look at you the way I do. I shouldn’t want to do the things I want to do to you.” His lips are so close to mine, I can feel the warmth of his breath as he speaks. He thrusts his hips slightly forward so I can feel his hard length against my thigh. “I’m ashamed of the filthy fucking thoughts that constantly plague my mind when I look at you. The ways I want to defile your body.” He drops one hand, dragging a single fingertip down my neck and across my collarbone. “If you knew . . . if you could see my thoughts, you’d run for the mountains, baby girl.”
My lips are parted, my breathing more rapid than before. There’s a chill in the air but my body is on fire.
“Why? Why shouldn’t you want it?”
“Because it’s wrong. Because I don’t deserve you. Because you’re not mine.”
“But when it comes to Dean,” I hesitate, his eyes already starting to dim the second I mention his name, “well, he’s been gone for so long, it’s not wrong. I just don’t understand.”
“I know you don’t. Just trust me, Dolly.” He pushes back from the truck, pulling me upright and reaching for his door.
The spell is broken, and I almost feel dizzy with how quickly his emotionless facade is back in place.
“Explain it to me then.Please,” I beg, reaching out to grab his shirt, but he brushes my hand away as he climbs into his truck.
He looks at me one last time, sadness now filling his eyes.
“Not tonight. Someday.”
6
RANGER
“Itake it you haven’t talked to Dolly yet?”
“Huh?” I look over my shoulder at Decker as I toss another bale of hay into the barn.
“By the way you’ve been tossing the bales of hay around like they offended you, I’d say you’re still riding high on that frustration you’ve let build up.”
“Okay, Dr. Phil.” I roll my eyes and turn my attention back to the task at hand, hoping he drops it.
“The way you guys were flirting the other night at the bar, I’d hoped you’d worked it out.” He sits down on one of the bales, letting me know he has no plans to drop it.
“We weren’t flirting.”
“Mmm, pretty sure you were fucking her with your eyes and she was allohhh let me bend over and take this shot.” He laughs, doing a high-pitched impression of Dolly as he pretends to press his nonexistent breasts together.
“You’re an idiot.” I laugh. Iwascompletely lost in her that night; I sure as shit wasn’t paying attention to how obvious we were being.
“Seriously, though, you guys looked happy on the dance floor. What happened?”
I shrug. “Same old shit. I shot my mouth off and ruined it.”
“At least you’re self-aware. So what’s your next play?”
