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“Just give her a few minutes. Talk to her and see if she’ll come around. I have a feeling this is all more of a mental thing than anything physical,” he sighed as he looked to my sister with so much sadness. “I’ll leave, in case I’m making things worse, but I’ll be right out in the hall if you need anything.”
I nodded in thanks as he turned and left the room, pulling the door almost fully closed behind him, leaving just a small gap, likely so he’d hear me call if we needed him.
Not knowing fully what I should do, I lay on the bed beside Blake and pulled her body, still wrapped in the comforter, into my side. I wrapped my arms around her, holding her against my side and ran my hand at her back, up and down, hoping to soothe her as she came back around.
“Tiny. Whatever is going on in your head, I need you to leave it behind and come back to me, okay? You’re really scaring me right now. I need you to lock those eyes on me and tell me you are alright,” I pleaded as I lay my head on top of hers, hoping my body heat would help warm her and stop her shivering.
I thought about what my mom used to do for me when I was sick, or when I’d wake terrified from a nightmare. I remembered her holding me in very much the same way as I was holding Blake, and she would sing softly to me. I sucked at singing, and could never remember the lyrics to songs, but I was willing to try anything to pull Blake from whatever was going on in her head. It was causing her pain, so much pain. It was clear to see on her tortured face, and I needed to end it.
Wanting to replace whatever darkness was running through her mind, with something good, I started to sing the song she had sung on karaoke with the guys, at the twin’s party, except I only knew the words, “Sweet home Alabama…” so after that I just hummed the tune to her – or the bits I knew anyway – over and over, willing her to snap out of it before I was forced to take her to the ER- one of the last places I knew she’d want to go.
BLAKE
“I told you the damaged girls fight the hardest!”I could hearThe Asshole’ssneered words echoing in my head as images of his sick, smug face rushed by, along with every other monster I had faced in my life. There were so many of them, and they wouldn’t stop rushing through my thoughts.
I knew I had lost all control. I had no awareness of my body or what was going on around me. I had checked out, just as I used to when I was a child, and being hurt so badly that it was easier to detach myself from reality. Now I had done it again, this time in an attempt to save myself from the flashbacks that were haunting me, only it seemed the further from reality I slipped, the faster and more vivid the reruns of my past became.
“Don’t stifle those screams, bitch. I want to hear them, nice and loud,” The Sadisthisses as he appears next in the horror show in my mind.
I tried to pull myself out of it – to make it all stop before I really did lose my mind and myself completely, but I just couldn’t seem to do it. I just felt so weak and tired. I didn’t have the strength or fight left in me to make it all come to an end.
Just when I thought I really was becoming lost once and for all in the chaos and terror of my memories, another voice started to filter in over the monsters. This one however, didn’t scare me.
“Sweet home Alabama, where the lights are so new…”I recognised the tone deaf singing voice and tried to cling to it, praying it would be enough to drag me from the depths of the abyss I knew I was falling into.
“Sweet home Alabama, lord, I don’t know the words to this song…”he went on, and if I could, I’d have smiled. The singing turned into just a gentle hum, but it was enough for me to hold on tight to. As I focussed on that sound and the crazy lyrics it seemed Trent was making up completely, the voices and images that had been dragging me down deeper and deeper started to fade.
Pulling myself back from whatever had been dragging me down was way harder than it should have been, but finally I started to feel my body again. It was shaking hard, which wasn’t anything new, but the pain that spread through my limbs was. I was freezing cold, realising immediately that my teeth were chattering so hard I feared I would crack them. I was wrapped in something warm and soft, and I could feel a hand running up and down my back slowly and comfortingly. I’d have panicked, but I knew from the humming I was still fighting to remain focussed on, that it was Trent who held me.
I blinked a few times once I came fully back to myself, then looked around, relieved, and soothed to find I was laid in my room, on my bed.
“Blake?” Trent said softly, ceasing his humming. I looked up a little and found myself wrapped tightly in his arms, just as I had suspected. “Hey,” he whispered when my eyes met his.
“Hi,” I whispered back, trying hard to make sure I didn’t bite my own tongue between my violently chattering teeth. “W-what h-happ-ened?” I asked as I tried to recall when Trent had arrived, or even how I got to my bed, but there was nothing. The last thing I could remember was Luca helping me into his car after Abby had screamed at me.
“You got a little lost,” he told me with a gentle smile.
“B-but y-you fou-nd me,” I whimpered shakily, as tears filled my eyes and I blinked furiously to stop them from falling. I remembered the horrible, terrifying voices that had been filling my consciousness before Trent’s voice found its way in to rescue me.
“Damn right I did,” he replied as his eyes became a little glassy. “I will always find you, tiny, no matter how far you go. I will always come for you and bring you back.”
I had no words to reply to such a beautiful statement, so instead I cuddled into his side, wrapping my arm around his waist, and clung to him with everything in me, just hoping he realised how very much his words meant to me. How very safe he made me feel.
“We really need to warm you up, Blake, or you’re going to end up getting sick. Do you think you could take a shower? I think it will be the fastest way right now,” he asked.
“Why a-am I w-wet?” I asked when I reached a shaking hand up to my frozen head and realised my hair was soaked.
“You were in the tub, but it was freaking ice cold,” he explained.
“Shit,” I gasped as it dawned on me just how bad a state I must have been in when Trent found me. No wonder he looked so bloody worried. Poor bloke. “I’m s-sorry Trent.”
“You never have to apologise to me, especially not for something that was not in your control,” he told me as he wrapped his arms tight around me again and rested his chin on top of my head. “Now, about that shower? Think you can stand that long?”
“Yeah,” I agreed as I gave him one last squeeze, then pulled back and sat up. Every muscle in my body protested, feeling stiff and achy, but I had lived with worse. “I’ll b-be okay,” I told him.
“Stay right there. Let me come around and help you,” he ordered as he jumped up from the bed and hobbled around to where I now perched on the edge.
“I c-can man-age,” I told him, my teeth still chattering furiously, and my body vibrating with shivers, exhausting me even before I moved an inch. I pulled the duvet tightly around me, too cold to let it go.
