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“Thank you,” I whispered, hating that he was angry with me.
Tom, Liam, and Dec took beers while Grey grabbed a can of Diet Coke, then they all sat back and looked at me expectantly.
Feeling desperately nervous and unsure I stalled by taking another long drink of the cold water.
“It’s okay babe,” Tom told me when he noticed my hand shake a little as I lowered the water bottle to the table. “Just talk to us. Whatever it is, we can work through it.”
“If you actually want to try and work through anything,” Declan uttered bitterly, but I heard him.
“Dec, chill the fuck out,” Liam hissed.
“Yeah, right. I’ll just sit back and listen to the woman I love spout off some shit about how it’d be better if we walk away now. No doubt some self-deprecating bull about how she can’t give us what we need, or she’s too much trouble for us to deal with,” Declan spat, every word dripping with rage and disdain.
“I already told you she’s not…” Grey began, but I cut him off, sick of Declan’s attitude.
“I had n-no intention of saying any such thing, actually Declan,” I told him as I mirrored the glare he was giving me, right back at him.
“Just ignore him, jelly bean. He’s just scared we’re going to lose you. Tell us whatever you need to say,” Liam coaxed and I nodded, turning my face to him instead and feeling calmed by his patient facial expression.
“You’re not g-going to lose me,” I said as I glanced pointedly back to Dec. “Not unless you w-want to, that is.” I added, realising how egotistical my first comment had seemed. Maybe they might want to lose me. Maybe they were sick to the back teeth of me.
“We don’t want you to go anywhere, baby,” Grey told me as his hand settled over mine on the table. “It’s been hell being away from you the last few days. Can you tell us what happened? Trent and your Dad were pretty tight lipped.”
“We know Abby started shit with you. Is that what caused everything?” Liam asked.
“Not exactly,” I answered nervously. “I…I think it started with her. She was really pissed off and saying a ton of crap, but nothing I h-haven’t heard before. It w-wasn’t that. It was that I…I believed her when she was talking about not hitting me with her car that night. She w-was scared. I really don’t think it was her.”
“She’s a good liar and manipulator. You probably saw what she wanted you to see,” Declan scoffed.
“Maybe,” I shrugged. “But I don’t think so. I think she’s t-terrified she’s about to be charged for something she didn’t do. Realising that made me think about who had hit me if it wasn’t her, and th-that….the idea that those m-monsters are coming for me, that triggered everything else,” I explained.
“It’s unlikely they’d go to such lengths to get to you when you’re really not even much of a threat to them, Blake,” Tom reasoned, and I tried not to flinch at his words. While they were very true, they also hurt a lot. It killed me that despite the fact I had survived to identify those three demons, the police weren’t willing to do anything to stop them from doing what they had done to me, again and again.
“They sh-shot me and I didn’t die. In their eyes they pr-probably see that as a loss and trust me, these guys do not l-like to lose,” I warned.
“Tell us what happened. How did you hurt your hands?” Grey pushed as he nodded to the cuts and scratches on my hands. I had removed the plasters Trent had placed there the day before, but my knuckles looked a mess.
“What?” Declan growled as he sprang up so fast his chair smashed to the floor behind him. It startled me and I jumped, my heart starting to pound as Dec slammed his hands down on the table and leant into my space, looking down at my hands.
“It’s j-just scratches,” I told him as I tried to move my hands to my lap, but Dec moved his hand at lightning speed and grabbed one of mine before I could hide it.
“What happened?” he demanded with a calmness that worried me more than his anger.
“I…I w-was still struggling. I went to the garden to try and c-calm down, but I ended up…well, I kind of lost it. I started hitting the fence. Trent h-had to stop me.”
“You hurt yourself?” Declan gasped in a whisper. He moved backwards and fell into the chair, which Liam had thankfully picked up for him.
“No! N-not like that. I didn’t….I was just so angry and I…I needed to get it out,” I tried to explain. “I went to see Lisa and we talked it through. She th-thinks my meds reacted badly, which made things worse, but also that it’s to do with lack of sl-sleep and stress. I feel much b-better today,” I added to try and reassure them all. I looked to Declan, hoping the look of utter horror that crossed his face when he asked if I had hurt myself, had cleared, but I couldn’t see his face. His head was down and I couldn’t make out his expression.
“Tell us what you need, Blake. What can we do to help make sure that doesn’t happen again? Are we contributing to your stress?” Grey asked. When I glanced over to him, those jade eyes were focussed on me, his face gentle and filled with understanding.
“No,” I denied immediately, but then I considered what I had told Lisa during our session, and nodded. “Maybe a little, but it’s n-not your fault. It’s mine. I…I’m confused,” I admitted.
“Confused about what? Us?” Tom asked. I nodded, and once again Dec was on his feet. When I reluctantly turned to look at him he was glaring down over me.
“What’s to be fucking confused about? I love you. I told you I love you! How can you be confused?” he demanded angrily.
“Dec…” I whispered, his anger stopping any more words from coming.
