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A week had passed since my conversation with the four men that addled my brain, and since then things had been calmer.

The drugs Lisa had altered seemed to have done the trick with settling down my thoughts and emotions. I still had anxiety clawing at the edges of my consciousness the majority of the time, but it was at least in my peripheral for the most part, rather than screaming in my face as it had done for the two days of torture I had dealt with after seeing Abby.

Things with the guys seemed to have settled into a comfortable place too. I saw a lot of them, either meeting at the twins place, or the four of them coming to our place between working, and the gym – which were the only two things any of them seemed to do. They had backed off as I had asked. There had been no more kissing or heat inducing touches. The twins still hugged me every time they saw me, and there were occasional comforting touches from them all, but that was as far as it went. They no longer stayed over at the house either.

Grey and Tom had handled the situation better than Declan and Liam, who tended to sulk a little whenever it came time for them to leave or for me to head home. I knew it was because they were both protective, and loathed being distanced from me in any way. I hated that I was causing any of them stress and upset, but at the same time I knew I had done the right thing in slowing us all down.

Having them all mostly in the friend zone helped me to feel less stressed and worried about the relationship, which was exactly what I had wanted and needed. But even though I had asked for this pause on progress between the five of us, I still found it near bloody impossible to keep my hands off of them. My impulse control issues, mixed with how utterly sexy and drool worthy my four men were, was a recipe for libido overdrive and I was constantly having to stop myself before I dived on one of them and told them to forget every damn word I had said.

I was feeling pretty good as I climbed out of bed that morning. It was Saturday, and I had a day off from physio with Declan, since he had gone off to a convention, to look at new equipment for the gym. He’d told me he would be gone for most of the day, but I knew they were all planning to be back at Dad’s house for dinner that night. While that wasn’t unusual – the guys ate with me most nights unless they had to work – Dad and Trent were going to be there too that night, and Nan was cooking. I was so excited for us all to be together again. I had never known a feeling like the one that filled me when everyone, that I had come to care for and love, surrounded me at that rowdy, fun filled dining table.

I was also excited because I had resolved to push myself that morning and try running. The term ‘running’ would be a stretch since my muscles still didn’t cooperate enough to allow me the smooth movement to actually run, but thanks to physio with Declan, I was certainly making progress. My balance was so much better than it had been when I arrived there, and I had all but lost the limp I walked with. I was also a lot faster than I had been, and I felt stronger. Navigating stairs was almost a non-issue now on the good days. I still had bad days, mostly when the headaches, which came to torture me a few times a week, would hit, and knock me for six. On those days everything was harder because it seemed impossible to make my mind focus on anything, but on the good days I had almost started to feel like myself again.

I had resolved to start pushing myself on those good days, to get back as much of ‘me’ as I possibly could. I hoped if I could do that, it would help me power through the bad days.

So I was going to try running that morning, and if it was more of a power walk, then that was fine. It was progress and I’d happily take that.

Once I was up I brushed my teeth and threw my hair up into a ponytail, then pulled on a pair of navy gym leggings, a black tank top and a thick hoody. I knew the sun beaming in wasn’t a sure sign it was warm outside. At least not for me. I seemed to feel the cold more since my brain injury and even in the sunny climate I now lived in, I always made sure to have a jumper or jacket with me when I left the house.

Once I had the new running trainers, which Trent had insisted I needed when I mentioned my plan to try running again, a few days ago, on and laced up I grabbed my phone from the bedside cabinet and selected the playlist I had made the day before. It was filled with my favourite upbeat songs to spur me on. It took me a few minutes to remember how I turned on the wireless headphones, which Trent had also bought for me for running, despite my protests I didn’t need them. I had to admit though, when the music started cranking through them I had a small, excited smile on my face.

I had always loved to run. It was something I started to do as a stress reliever when I first moved in to my own place. I had needed an outlet for the turbulent feelings that were always bubbling just beneath the surface. When I had first headed out to the park close to my flat, I had been winded and sweating within ten minutes, wondering what had possessed me to even try. After that I forced myself to do it because it had scared me how unfit I was, and all I could think was what would I do if I were ever being chased down and needed to flee? I’d have been useless and easily been caught. So I made myself go out running around that park every day, sometimes before my shift at the coffee shop, sometimes afterwards. Most of the time it would be throwing it down with rain and freezing cold, but I refused to give up, always determined to be prepared in any way I could to do what was necessary to protect myself. Always determined no one would ever lay hands on me again.

Then at some point, those miserable running sessions I forced upon myself, became my sanctuary. I found when I was out running, pushing myself and feeling the pain of my hard worked muscles, I could shut off my darkest thoughts and just breathe. When I was out, my feet pounding the concrete over and over, I felt stronger and more powerful. I felt free.

Of course I hadn’t had a fancy mobile phone to play music, nor the subscription Trent had set me up with so I could make a playlist easily. I hadn’t even had the right clothes or shoes. I used to run in a pair of black leggings I bought from Primark for a few quid and a t-shirt from the charity shop. If it was bucketing it down with rain I’d pull on a ratty hoody and prepare to be utterly soaked through by the time I was finished.

It was hard to believe how things had changed as I stepped out of the sliding glass doors from my beautiful bedroom, dressed in all of the appropriate sports clothing, fancy headphones in my ears that probably cost my brother more than I would spend on a month of food shopping in my old life. It could all become overwhelming if I thought about it too much, so I didn’t. Instead I allowed the smile that I felt from deep within to spread across my face and I thanked my lucky stars for everything I had been given since the moment my dad walked into my life.

I was limited to the back garden for this run, since we still had no leads on who was after me, or us. We didn’t even know for sure who was being targeted. The police investigation was still ongoing, but Dad held little hope out of them finding anything. It was Luca’s security team we were hoping would eventually come up with a lead. But until they did I was on lock down. I had wanted to run along the promenade at the beach, but I knew that meant Luca accompanying me, and I didn’t want that. Running was all mine – my safe place. I needed to do it alone, even if that meant all I could do was circuits of the large garden.

AsImagine Dragonspounded out through my head phones I stood on the patio and stretched, warming up my muscles. Declan had lectured me on the importance of being properly warmed up before I attempted any kind of run, the previous day when I had excitedly told him I was going to try. He’d been encouraging, but warned me not to push too hard.The chance would be a fine thing!

Once I was warmed up and feeling loose, I took a deep breath to quell the anxious feelings rising with in me; worries that this was going to be an epic fail, and just set off.

I don’t know what I worried would happen – maybe that my legs would just fold beneath me the second I tried to push myself from a walk into a jog. Whatever my worries were, they were unfounded. Within moments I was moving in a jog! I was running! It was slow and my legs felt a little clunky, my muscles not moving as smoothly as I’d have liked, but I was running! It was hard to breathe the way I knew I should because of the huge smile that spread across my delighted face.

The sun shone down on me brightly, a light breeze keeping me cool and brushing through the little flyaway strands of my hair that had come loose. After just one lap of the perimeter of the garden I could feel the fine sheen of sweat that covered me and I hurriedly removed the hoody I was wearing and tied it around my waist.

The garden surrounded three sides of the house and stretched a fair distance. It was fully fenced in and so I was running the perimeter, along the fence and sides of the house.

By the time I completed the third circuit around I could feel my legs beginning to tremble and I was gasping for breath. The sheen of sweat was long forgotten as instead it dripped from me, my tank top drenched through.

“One more,” I told myself. I hadn’t run enough to get to that quiet place I used to find when I really pushed, and I doubted I would get there that day either. But this was a start. I was running – taking back something that was all mine. It would take time to get back to where I once was fitness wise, and I knew it, but at least I had hope I could get there one day.

I was around the left side of the house, running alongside the door that led into the sun room where the swimming pool was, completely exhausted, my legs feeling like pieces of overcooked spaghetti beneath me. I could barely catch my breath and I was disgustingly sweaty, my clothes completely drenched through, but I could still feel the slight smile on my face as my music kept me going. I was happy. Genuinely happy and even though my run hadn’t pushed me to that quiet place it used to, it had brought a peace over me I hadn’t been able to feel, without having others around me, since those monsters grabbed me.

As I approached the back of the house I slowed to a walk, wanting to warm down for the last part of the circuit. I pulled my phone from the pocket in my leggings, excited to text Dec and tell him I had actually managed to run. That was why I wasn’t looking up. It all happened at once – first a loud, threatening sounding bark. I looked up, terrified, but before I could take in what was happening, or even react, a huge dark ball of fur ploughed into me. It slammed into me with the force of that car, weeks before, and my weak legs gave out instantly. I screamed as I went down, terrified of the dog who was still barking deafeningly loud. When it jumped over me where I lay on the ground I curled into myself and covered my head with my arms, sure I was about to be mauled as I screamed over and over, praying Dad, Trent, or Luca, who I knew were all in the house, would hear me.

“BLAKE!” I heard Trent shout from the other side of the house. The dog was still over me. I could feel it’s paws and head knocking at me, and I dare not uncurl myself, sure he was just waiting for a chance to maim me.

“Trent!” I tried to scream, but I could barely breathe through my panic and it came out as little more than a squeak. It felt like hours, but could only have been a minute before I heard my dad and Trent both shouting loudly, this time sounding close to me.

“Rye! Come here!” Dad commanded, and instantly the dog was off of me as the barks moved further away.

“Blake!” Trent was there then. I felt his hand on my shoulder and it gave me the strength to uncurl myself and look up. Luca was standing just behind Trent, looking on high alert as he scanned the area around us.

“The d-dog?” I gasped, so short of breath I could barely get the words out.

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