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“Come and sit on the edge and I’ll help you slide in,” Grey suggested as he strode through the water to the edge of the pool and patted the space before him. I looked to the only other way into the water – a ladder at each end - and decided I liked Grey’s idea better.

I glanced to Declan, who was waiting for my next move. When I nodded we took the few steps over to Grey and Declan wrapped an arm around me, helping me awkwardly lower my uncooperative legs enough to sit on the edge of the pool. Physio had helped me to strengthen my muscles and improve my mobility a lot, but something as simple as getting on the floor still proved an obstacle.

“If you start to feel any cramping or anything that worries you, you just let us know and we can get you out, okay?” Declan told me as he released his grip on me enough for Grey to put his hands on my hips.

“Oh God,” I whispered.

“You’re fine, baby. I’ve got you,” Grey tried to soothe me, but it wasn’t my fear that had me gasping. It was them having their huge hands gripping my body when I was wearing so very little. Swimming, I suddenly realised, had been a very bad choice of activity when we were supposed to be slowing down. My body was on fire with heat and need for more of their touches on my skin.

“What the…?” The feel of Dec’s slightly rough fingers brushing over my exposed scars on my back, instantly threw cold water over my raging libido. I braced myself for the disgust I was sure would come. No one could see the state of my back and not be repulsed. It was hideous and grotesque.

“What? What’s wrong?” Grey asked as he gripped me a little tighter and looked to Dec for an explanation. Declan seemed to be frozen, his fingers just barely touching the burn on my right shoulder.

“My scars. The suit…you c-can see them,” I admitted, when it seemed Declan was too horrified to speak. Each word was trembling with anxiety and my stomach started to churn violently. I forced in a breath and then bit the bullet and looked up above me to Declan. He was still frozen with his hand barely touching my skin, but his eyes were closed and his jaw was so tense I worried he was damaging his beautiful straight teeth.

“It’s okay Dec. They don’t hurt. I…I know they’re ugly, but th-they don’t hurt,” I told him, somewhat babbling as my fear of his – of all of their reactions - overtook me.

Seeing he was still not moving, and not opening his eyes – likely because he couldn’t stand to look at me any longer – I looked away from him and blinked furiously to stop tears from escaping.

“Blake…” Grey began, but he stopped when I startled and gasped at the feel of Declan dropping down to the ground behind me. In a moment he had me encircled in his legs and one arm around my chest, the other round my waist as he pulled me free from Grey’s hands and just pressed my back into his front as tight as he could without crushing me.

“I’m so fucking sorry,” he whispered so quietly I only just caught the words. “If there was any way…anything I could do to take it all away from you…I’d do it, Blake. Whatever it took so you didn’t have to live through it all,” he continued and I was sure he was crying, but he held me so tightly it was impossible to turn and look at him.

“You just said it, Dec. I lived through it…I lived. It was shitty and I almost g-gave up, but I’m here now. I survived and I have all of you. Those scars are m-my past. You four, this place, my family – that’s my f-future. You are my future and I…I’m excited for the first time in my whole l-life, excited to see what comes next.”

“Good things,” Dec told me as he continued to clutch me almost to the point of crushing me. “Only good things. No one ever hurts you again. Never again.” He wasn’t making a whole lot of sense, his words whispered so quietly I could barely hear them. Instead of replying, since I had no idea how to reply to such a momentous promise, I simply rubbed my hand back and forth across the arm wrapped around my chest, hoping I was comforting him in some way.

“Dec, let Blake go now, brother. You’re squeezing the breath from her,” Grey laughed after a few moments, but when I looked to him there was only worry in his eyes as he watched Declan.

Dec instantly released me and as I struggled to sit up straight he looked around my shoulder and studied me closely.

“Did I hurt you?” he asked, looking horrified at the idea he had.

“No. Of course not. I’m f-fine,” I assured him.

“I’m sorry. I just…I knew of course, but seeing it on your beautiful skin.”

“I know they’re ugly. I get it,” I looked from Dec to the others too, making sure they all understood what I was saying. “I completely understand if any of you…o-or all of you change your mind when you s-see them. I know it’s n-not what blokes want to see when they get n-naked with a girl,” I babbled nervously.

“Blake, stop talking bullshit and get into this damned pool,” Liam ordered, completely taking me by surprise. When I turned to him slightly aghast he smiled a little. “There is not one damned thing about you that will ever stop any of us loving you and wanting you to be ours, so don’t even let that thought run through that very over active mind of yours.”

“He’s right. Declan said it earlier – you’re ours and you’re going nowhere. We know you have scars. Will they make us angry and murderous for the ones who put them there? One billion percent, yes. But they will never ever make us look at you as anything other than the stunningly beautiful, amazingly smart, and wonderfully kind warrior we know you to be,” Tom added in agreement.

“Your scars are the proof of all you survived, Blake. They’re badges that signify the undeniable, incredible strength you have proven yourself capable of again and again. Never ever forget that, because we won’t. Every time we see your scars, all we will be able to do is thank our lucky stars that we get to call such a spectacular woman ours,” Grey said, and I was a goner. Tears filled my eyes and I could do nothing to stop them. Maybe our relationship was confusing and moving at a glacial pace, but they wanted me – all of me – the good and the bad - and knowing that meant everything.

“Now get your cute ass in the pool!” Liam demanded again and I smiled through my tears.

As Grey took hold of my hips and lifted me down from the edge and slowly into the water, Liam and Tom stood either side of him, both of them watching me and seemingly ready to grab me should the need arise, despite the fact Grey hadn’t even released the hold he had on me even when my feet hit the base under water.

I looked up and found Declan crouched at the edge where I had just been sat, also seeming completely at the ready to grab me and haul me out if needed. They were ridiculously over the top, but I couldn’t help but smile as I realised we were going to be okay. We had a hell of a long road to travel, but I was pretty sure together, we could make it. That future I had spoken of earlier was slowly moving further and further into my sights and I wanted it with everything in me. I just needed a little time to become brave enough to take it.

CHAPTER 13

BLAKE

Waking naturally, and peacefully, as opposed to screaming and shaking from a nightmare, was happening to me a little more often as the days passed in my new home. The nightmares still came most nights, but thanks to Dad or Trent, who were always there to comfort me when I woke screaming, I was finding that I was able to return to sleep afterwards, and that sleep was usually more settled for me. I was pretty sure that was because subconsciously I felt safe knowing my family was close.

I couldn’t help but smile when I opened my eyes that morning, my whole room illuminated by the bright sunshine coming through the sliding doors, which opened out on to the beautiful garden. I had taken to leaving my curtains open when I crawled into bed at night, loving the feel of the sun shining in when I awoke each morning.

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