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“Are you upset about last night? Do you regret what we did?” he asked more quietly.

“No!” I gasped instantly. “I don’t regret it, Declan. It was amazing. I’m not upset. I just…I h-have this habit of over analysing everything I do and I’m kind of doing that a lot this morning.”

“Yeah, I’ve noticed that. You need to talk it through with me? Might help?” he offered and I smiled at how sweet he was being. It was such a contrast to the barking army major he was when we were training.

“D-do you think the others will be mad…if they find out, I mean. Will they be mad about what we did?” I asked, addressing the thing that scared me most. I didn’t want to lose any of them, and I also didn’t want to ever come between the four of them.

“No. Of course they won’t. We all agreed to this relationship, knowing that eventually it would involve some kind of sex. We’ve also been in these types of relationships before, so we know how it works. They’re not going to be mad, Blake. Maybe a little jealous, but that’s normal. Most of all, all any of us want is for you to be happy.”

“Well I was very h-happy last night,” I smiled.

“Me too. You look so fucking beautiful when you com….” I reached up and slapped my hand over his mouth, muffling the end of that phrase and looking all around me to double check we were alone.

“I cannot believe you just said that!” I gasped as I released him and jumped to my feet.

“Why not? It’s true,” he laughed as he walked up behind me and wrapped his arms around me from behind.

“Ew! I’m sweaty and disgusting. Don’t try to hug me now,” I protested.

“Don’t care,” he countered as he leaned over me and started kissing the side of my sweaty face.

“Gross Declan. Let me go. I need to shower and so do you now,” I laughed as I slipped free of his arms and ran over to collect my stuff from the locker I always set it in. “Will you be around when I’m changed?”

“Sorry tiger. I have another session in ten minutes, but I’ll be home for dinner tonight. You got plans for the rest of the day?”

“Not sure yet,” I shrugged.

“Well, at least try to stop freaking out for me, yeah? There’s nothing wrong with what we did last night, and the guys will agree with that. You call me if you need to talk it through again, okay?”

“I will. Love you,” I told him as I blew him a kiss, refusing to near him again when I knew how disgusting I was.

“Love you more,” he told me.

As I walked out of the room I was in a daze, running Declan’s words over and over in my head. How sweet was it that he said he loves me more? I loved that. If he loved me and I loved him, then surely what happened between us the night before could only be good; the next progression in what was building between us, right?

As I took a quick shower and then changed into jeans and a thin, oversized shirt, I continued to mull it all over in my mind. Deep down I knew what had happened with Declan had been what I wanted. I hadn’t just given into my impulse, I had given into my need for him and for what I wanted. It wasn’t like we had sex. What had Dec called it? A warm up? It had felt like a lot more to me than a warm up, but what did I know?

That was sort of the issue though. I knew so little when it came to real meaningful relationships, sex, and intimacy. All I knew about any of it was from romance novels and I was pretty sure they were far from a realistic account.

I quickly brushed my wet hair so it wouldn’t be quite so wild, then rolled my sweaty work-out clothes into a towel, before placing them into my bag.

I had decided I needed someone impartial to talk this whole situation out with and there was only one person for that job.

“Hey you!” Fiona greeted as I walked out into the blissfully airconditioned reception area. She was sitting behind her desk, looking at something on the computer when she saw me. “All done?”

“Yep, and as usual I’m completely knackered,” I admitted with a half laugh.

“You’ll get there, hon. You’ve already come so far,” she told me enthusiastically and I appreciated it. She seemed to have way more faith in me than I would ever have in myself.

“Either that or Declan w-will kill me off eventually,” I joked. “I don’t suppose you have any time free today do you?”

“Sure. What’s up?” she asked as she leaned over the desk with concern.

“I just really need to talk to you. Is th-that okay? I need a woman’s opinion on something before my mind spirals any m-more,” I admitted.

“Of course it’s okay. It’s what I’m here for, bestie,” she replied and I was so glad to have her to talk to. She had been such a good friend to me since we met and it meant a lot. I had never had a best friend before, and while I considered Trent my closest friend, Fiona was a very close second, not that I’d tell her that.Maybe this is why you’ve never had a best friend, Blake?

“Thank you so much, Fiona,” I sighed, relieved.

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