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“You had sex with him?” Fiona gasped, only adding to my embarrassment over the whole thing.
“No! We didn’t…dothat. We didn’t go that far but he…we…he touched me and I…I, you know…got over the f-finish line,” I floundered, my face now completely ablaze. Maybe talking this through with someone hadn’t been my greatest idea after all.
“Don’t you think it was kind of quick?” she asked. “I mean, you haven’t been together that long.”
“That’s why I n-needed to speak to you. It felt right at the time, and Dec told me he loves me, not for the first time either. I love him too and I definitely wanted it to happen, but I just…I’ve never done this and it’s a little terrifying. Did I mess up?”
When several moments passed and Fiona hadn’t said anything I dared a look over to where she sat on the sofa, an empty seat between us. We had been turned in so we were slightly facing each other, but she had moved in the course of the conversation so I could only see the side of her face now.
“It’s b-bad isn’t it?” I asked quietly. “Did I push for this too soon? Are the guys going to think I’m slutty now?” Still Fiona sat staring straight ahead, not moving, or uttering a word. “Fiona? Are you alright?” I asked with concern. It was so unlike her to remain silent. It was creeping me out.
Then suddenly, like someone had just rebooted her, she jumped to her feet and turned to me as a smile, that looked too stiff to be real, stretched across her face.
“I’m so sorry hon. We’re gonna have to talk about this some other time. I just remembered I have to get home. My mom has her book group tonight and I promised I’d drive her. I’ll call you later,” she said all at once as she hurried towards the door, stopping only long enough to grab her bag which she’d dumped on the way in.
“Okay, no problem,” I assured her, but I wasn’t even sure she heard me because she was out of the door and gone before I even finished speaking. “See you later then,” I called to the door which had slammed closed behind her.
What the bloody hell was all that about? I would have worried I had upset her, but Fiona usually had no issue discussing guys and sex. In fact she was more open about it all than anyone I had ever met.
I chose to believe that she really had somewhere she needed to be and had forgotten about, since I couldn’t think of any other reason for her to just up and run off as she had. It was very strange, and had left me feeling even more confused about what had happened between Declan and I the night before.
***
I spent the next hour or so making a lasagne from scratch with a couple of accompanying salads. The guys and my Dad were all going to be arriving at the house after work, at different times so I wanted to make something they could quickly reheat and eat when they got back.
By the time I had the lasagne baked and the salads made and in tubs with lids, Trent was showered and changed after his swim, so we sat down to eat together.
Dec arrived home next, and once he took a quick shower and changed into something comfortable for the evening, he sat down to eat and I kept him company while he told me about his day. He didn’t seem to have any concerns at all about our previous evening together, appearing just as carefree and relaxed as it was possible for him to be. I was glad for that, but also a little envious that he wasn’t freaking out like I was, even just a little bit.
I knew I needed to relax over the whole thing, and I was trying to, but there was just this nagging doubt in the back of my mind which I couldn’t shake. I was terrified I had ruined what I had with the four of them by moving things forward with Declan. I was terrified this is where the jealousy would all begin and where I would lose them all.
“You okay over there, beautiful?” Dec asked, pulling me from my woes. I jolted and looked over to where he and Trent were playing some computer game on the television. I was curled up in one of the super comfy armchairs, supposedly reading again, but lost in my thoughts.
“Yeah,” I replied with a nod. “Just tired.”
“Why don’t you go and lie in bed? You’ve had a long day,” he suggested with a gentle smile.
“I’m okay. I want to wait f-for Grey to get home. I didn’t get chance to see him this morning. I w-want to check he’s alright.”
“We can send him in to your room to see you when he gets here. He’s not due home for an hour yet and you look wiped out,” Dec persisted.
“In that case, I might go and h-have a bath while I wait. Will you make sure he comes to my room when he’s back though? I’m worried about him. He didn’t even reply to my texts today. It’s n-not like him,” I sighed. I hated what he was going through and I wanted to make sure he knew I was at his side the whole way. I hadn’t had chance to tell him that morning and I refused to miss him again.
“I will, tiger. Promise. Go and relax a little,” Dec told me. I couldn’t resist stopping off to place a kiss on his cheek as I made my way to my room.
When I got to the room that the twin’s had given me, I set the bath running and placed my phone in the speaker with my newly made ‘relaxing music’ playlist playing.
Liam had heard me playing it the day before, and renamed it ‘depressing music’ but compared to the almost head banging songs he favoured, it made sense he found my soothing music depressing.
After adding half a bottle of lavender bubble bath into the running water in a desperate bid to make myself relax, I pulled out my comfiest pyjamas to put on afterwards and found the lavender body butter Tom had bought for me to help me sleep better. I needed to chill out and this all seemed like the perfect recipe to make that happen.
“Blake?” I heard my Dad calling from outside my bedroom door following a knock, and I hurried eagerly over to it, always excited to know he was home.
“Hi,” I greeted as I threw the door open. He was stood in the hallway in his suit which he had worn to work, his tie gone and his shirt unbuttoned at the collar. Despite having worked at least a twelve hour day, his suit and shirt were still immaculate, as was the man himself.
“Sorry to disturb you, sweetheart. I just wanted to let you know I was back and also to give you this,” he said as he handed me a plain brown envelope with nothing written on it. Curious I took it and looked inside.
“Is this…”
