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“I’m okay,” he sighed. “Do I wish Leah would see sense and allow me to help her? Of course I do, but I also know I can’t force her to do that. I also realise I am never going to help her if I keep bailing her out and making her life easier, so I’m determined to stick to what I told her. I’ll pay the thugs off this time, but it will be the last time. The next time I help Leah, it has to be because she’s decided to get clean. She calls me for any other reason and I can’t help her. I can’t keep enabling her,” he explained.
“I think that’s a wise d-decision, Grey. I understand how hard it must be. My relationship w-with my mum was terrible. Her choice of drugs over me, every single time, cost me a lot more than just m-my childhood, but despite it all, I loved her. She was my mum at the end of the day.”
“I just really hope Leah realises she needs help before it’s too late. I can’t imagine what losing her would do to Nan…and to me. I already lost my parents. I really don’t want to lose my sister,” he admitted. I lifted my wet hand and placed it over where one of his rested on the edge of the bath.
“We’ll make sure she gets the absolute best help she can when she’s ready, Grey. I’ll be with you all of the w-way. We’ll do it together,” I assured him.
“I don’t know what I ever did to deserve you coming into my life, Blake. But I’m never letting you go,” he sighed as he leaned in and kissed my soapy fingers where they lay over his.
“Please don’t,” I agreed with a teary smile.
“Never baby,” he promised. “I have to run home and walk Rye. You going to be okay?”
“Yeah. I’ll finish my bath and then read in bed for a while. Will you…would you sleep in here with me tonight?” I asked. Even though the guys had slept with me most nights since the fire, always taking it in turn where they could, I had never actually asked them to before and it made me nervous.
“Like you need to ask,” he scoffed. “I’ll walk Rye, grab something to eat, then meet you in your room, okay?”
“Perfect,” I agreed happily.
“Be back soon,” he told me, then after a quick peck on my lips, he was gone.
I was just so relieved he seemed in a better place than he had been the night before. I had hated seeing him so broken and hurt. While his concerns were far from fixed, he seemed to be handling it all better, for now at least. I just wished there was some way I could help him and Leah, but I knew what Grey had said was right – no one could help Leah but the woman herself, and clearly she wasn’t at that point yet. I just hoped she got there sometime soon because I never wanted to see Grey having to suffer through losing his sister. He had already suffered too much with the loss of his parents.
It was a big task for someone who was as broken and messed up as I was, and who had no idea of how to make and maintain relationships, but regardless of that – I was determined to always do all that I could to make my four guys happy. I was determined to be there for them through the good times and the bad, just as they had proven to always be for me already. No one knew what would lay ahead for us, but I felt like, as long as we were together, we could find a way to fight our way through whatever came and get out of the other end of it.
CHAPTER 24
BLAKE
“Hey Blake,” Joe, the young trainer, who filled in at reception on Fiona’s days off, greeted as I entered the gym the next morning.
I slept well the night before, curled up against Grey and wrapped protectively in his arms. We had chatted a little before we fell asleep and I had questioned him on how things would work between the four of them with regards to jealousy and our relationship.
Grey had reassured me, just as Declan had, that this wasn’t their first rodeo. They had all shared relationships before, in different scenarios, some apparently involving my brother, but I did not want to hear about that. He also assured me that they were extremely close and had been for so long that sharing was pretty natural to them. Lastly he told me what Declan had told me – that they would be happy if I was.
So by the time I went to sleep I was feeling a little less worried about what had happened between Dec and I. If the others were going to be good with it, then I decided there was nothing left to stress out about. What happened between Declan and I had been amazing and I had wanted it with every part of me. I had decided to embrace it and eagerly await it all happening again – hopefully very soon.
“Morning Joe,” I replied with a full, genuine smile. I was in a great place mentally that morning, filled with positivity and excitement about the direction things were headed for me. For once in my life I had so many more good things than bad going on, and I was finally learning to just accept that fact, rather than constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. “Is he about?” I asked as I glanced around the huge open space for Dec. He always left the house much earlier than I did, so he could be there to open up the gym and talk with his team before the day got started.
“He just went to set up the room. Go on through,” Joe told me as he pointed to the door through to the back rooms. Luca and Lewis were with me, and Dell was with the car out front.
“I’m here,” Declan announced as he strode out from the back with his huge travel cup of protein shake in his hand. He was dressed in short black athletic shorts and a black tank with the gym’s logo across the front, so there was a lot of his beautiful, golden skin and wonderfully muscled body on display. He walked right over to me and wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me into his side as he leaned down to place a chaste kiss on my lips. “Morning beautiful,” he greeted.
“Morning,” I returned shyly, completely taken aback with how openly he had hugged and kissed me. I loved every second of it, but it was the first time he had done it right there in front of everyone in the gym.
“You okay?” he asked with a smile.
“I’m great,” I assured him as I gave in and wrapped my arms around his waist. If he didn’t care about everyone seeing him being so affectionate, then I definitely didn’t.
“Let’s get to work then,” he said as he turned us back towards the door he had come from. We took a few steps, before he turned to my security. “We’re good guys. Grab some coffee and chill out in the staff room.”
“We’ll be out here,” Luca returned as he pointed to the reception area where he always waited for me while I did physio. Luca never ‘chilled out’, as Dec had suggested he should. He was always on guard and took his job very seriously. My dad had chosen well when he selected the security.
“Joe will grab you some coffee then,” Declan offered instead as he nodded to Joe for his ascent.
“Thanks,” Luca mumbled.
“You sure you’re feeling up to a session this morning? You were exhausted last night?” Dec asked as he led me down the corridor towards the room we always did our sessions in.
