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“Okay.”I love you.
In the dim glow of the solar lights that lined my drive, I saw her frown. “Everything okay?”
“Of course. You better get going, or you’ll fall asleep at the wheel.”I love you.
“I’ll be fine. Kiss me properly, to tide me over.” Smiling, I ran my thumb across her bottom lip, tilting her chin up, letting my eyes rove over her face. Then I slowly lowered my head, teasing her a little, wanting to see what she’d do. She waited patiently, that’s what, and when our lips finally met, she let out a soft sigh that shivered right through me. She wrapped herself around me, opened her lips, tangled her tongue with mine. I wished it could last forever. Finally, she pulled back, giving me a dazed look before she turned away, opened her car door, and slid into the seat. Her eyes were glowing when she looked up at me, her voice soft when she said, “Bye.”
“Bye.” I closed the door behind her and stepped back. Only when she was driving down my street, her brake lights shining as she stopped before taking the turn toward New Bern, did I say it out loud. “I love you.”
Inside, Jesse was already in his pajamas, his glasses and puffer on the nightstand.
“Brushed your teeth?”
“Yes.”
“Good. In you get, then.” Once he was in bed, I pulled the blanket over him and reached over to switch on his night light. It was already such a habitual action, that I took a moment to reflect on just how much my life had changed in such a short time, and how great that was. “Did you have a good day, bud?”
“Yeah.” He pushed the blanket down, folding his arms on top of it. “People like me, don’t they?”
“Of course they do.”
“Yeah. I think it‘s because I‘m your kid.”
“What do you mean?
“They like me because they like you and you’re my dad.”
I wasn’t one hundred percent sure what he was getting at. “Are you saying you think people don’t like you just for you?” I asked with a frown.
“Yeah.”
“Well, I can’t speak for everyone, but I don’t think that’s true. I think people like you because you’re a good person, you have good manners and you’re fun to be around. What’s not to like?”
“I guess.”
Okay, that clearly wasn’t enough. Even though it hurt, I tried to imagine again what his life with Sandra must have been like. Overlooked, undervalued. Ignored. Never had any friends at school. Jesus. “That day, when I first saw you at the camp, that was a weird day, wasn’t it?”
“Yeah.”
“You know, I saw you sitting with Genevieve, and for some reason I couldn’t stop looking at you. I’d never met you before, but there was just something about you.” I swallowed as the emotions welled up. “Do you know how I felt when I got that paternity test back and it proved I was your dad?”
He shook his head, watching me closely.
“I was the happiest guy in the world, Jesse. Even though we barely knew each other, it was like my heart already did. Know you, I mean. Then when you said you wanted to live with me, well, that was just the best thing ever. Because I love being your dad, more than I ever could have imagined I would. I love reading comics to you, watching movies with you, making you breakfast, taking you to school. I love all of it, because I love you.” I stopped talking, because Jesse was staring at me with an odd look on his face that I couldn’t read.
Twisting the blanket in his hands, he lowered his gaze. “I think I might love you, too.”
Ignoring the hard squeezing of my heart, and swallowing around the lump in my throat, I reached over and ruffled his hair. It was all getting very heavy for an eight-year-old kid, so I figured I’d better lighten the mood. “That’s great, bud. How about you let me know when you know for sure, ‘kay?”
“Okay.”
“And now it’s really time for you to go to sleep. Good night.”
“Good night.”
I stood up and as I reached the doorway, my hand on the light switch, Jesse said, “I do.”
Turning back, I said, “What’s that?”
