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“I do love you.”
Although I wanted, more than anything, to give him a hug, he was still twisting the blanket and his little body was completely rigid with tension. “Thanks for letting me know, bud. If you want me, I’ll be in my room, shedding some very unmanly tears.” I flicked the switch and walked out, rubbing my chest. The pressure I felt there was almost excruciating, and the only relief would be to let the tears well up. I made it to my room, standing at the foot of my bed, pressing the heels of my hands against my eyes, breathing deep.
The sound of Jesse’s bare feet hitting the floor and running up the hallway had me turning around just as he got to me, throwing himself against me with his arms around my waist. “I love you,” he sobbed, burying his face in my chest.
I wrapped my arms around him. “I love you, too.” My voice was thick and I forced myself to swallow. “So much.” All the worry, all the frustration, all the fear that I was letting him down. It was all worth it, just for this moment.
“…happy tears, don’t worry.”
His words were muffled against my shirt, so I could hardly make them out, but I got the gist. “Me too, bud. Me too.”
He pulled back, knuckling his eyes. “Can I…”
“Can you what? Now’s the time to ask, because I’m not going to say no to anything right now.”
“Can I call you Dad?”
Jesus Christ, this kid! “Yes. I would really, really love it if you would do that.”
“Okay. Good night…Dad.”
With my arm around his shoulders, I steered him back down the hallway, to his room. “Feels a bit weird, right?”
“Yeah, a bit.”
“I like it, though.”
“Me too.”
“Good.”
I pulled the blanket back over him, bent down and dropped a kiss on the top of his head. “Good night, Jesse. I love you.”
“Love you, too.”
I couldn’t wipe the smile from my face when I left Jesse’s room, heading into my ensuite to brush my teeth. My instinct was to text or call Ally, knowing that she’d be so happy for us. But I had to figure out what I was going to do about Ally, and that was going to take some thinking. It was best to steer clear of her while I was doing that.
CHAPTER37
Ally
“Anyway, where was I?” Fuck, I’d lost my train of thought.
“You were saying something about your dad wanting to show Jesse how to make salami because he was very impressed with his kitchen skills.”
“Oh yeah, that’s right.” Maybe the sex had addled my brain. I’d arrived a bit earlier than I’d said I would and with the front door unlocked, I’d let myself in. I’d been in the kitchen, unpacking some grocery bags, when I heard movement behind me. Gabe Walker, dressed in nothing but a white towel, his hair dripping from his shower, was irresistible, and I’d thrown myself at him shamelessly, loving the way he’d torn my clothes off, the way he’d groaned when I sucked on his cock. Et cetera. Jesus, I was getting wet again just thinking about it.
I tried to remember my dad’s exact words. “He said the last kid he saw with that much kitchen smarts was me, and he’d love to show him, if he’s interested. No problem if he’s not, of course. Dad won’t be offended, he just thought he’d offer.” I was babbling, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself. Truth be told, I was feeling off and I couldn’t really blame the hot sex.
There’s no way I should be talking about these sorts of things with my fuck buddy. It was meant to just be casual sex. We’re not meant to sleep over, go to family dinners or big anniversary parties together. Since I’d stayed for that awful weekend waiting to find out my father’s test results, though, the lines of our arrangement had become so completely blurred that I didn’t know which way was up. The confusion had me on edge. Clearly, I babbled when I was on edge.
“I have to say something.”
I frowned. “That sounds serious.”
“It is, a bit.”
Not looking at him, I continued to unpack the bag of food. “Go ahead.”
