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“It would be different if I didn’t have Jesse to consider, maybe I’d just let it play out naturally and see what happened. But I do have Jesse, and I don’t think it’s fair to have someone in his life who’s not one hundred percent committed to him.”
Fuck, was he breaking up with me? How could he break up with me when we weren’t even really together? And if we weren’t really together, then why did it hurt so much? “I see.” I was quite proud of how neutral my voice sounded.
“But the thing is, you’re so much… so much fun. So loyal.”
My ears were ringing.“You’re just too much, Ally…”
“So gorgeous, and funny, and smart, and hot.”
Huh? This was the weirdest break up ever.
“I understand that taking on a single dad with an eight-year-old boy is a lot to ask, but I’m asking. Because I love you, Allegra.”
No!
“All of those things are why I love you so much and I want, more than anything, to share my life with you.”
I was frozen, barely able to breathe.
Gabe faltered, and I flicked him a glance. He was leaning against the kitchen counter, his legs crossed at the ankles, his hands in his pockets. So devastatingly gorgeous that it hurt my eyes. And, apparently, in love.
Lifting my chin, I said, “Fuck, Gabe. We had a perfectly good thing going here. I don’t know why you want to go and ruin it like this.” I heard his breath hiss out and I wanted to snatch back the words immediately. But a deeper, primal instinct drove me on.Run. Get the fuck out of there. “Look, it’s not that I’m not exactlysorryyou feel this way, but…I just can’t do this.” I gathered up my purse with shaking hands. “I have to go.”
“I’ll be here if you change your mind.” So calm. So unfazed. So…Gabe.
“Yeah, I won’t.” I hurried out the door without looking back, swearing when I got to my car and couldn’t find my keys. The last thing I needed was to have to slink back inside and look for them. Finally finding them, I let out a sob, tore my car door open and got in, gunning the engine angrily.
I fuelled that anger as I headed toward New Bern. This wasn’t fair! We had a deal! I said I didn’t want a relationship, and Gabe agreed. He had no right to go and change the terms…fall in love. I pressed my fist hard against my lips to hold in the sobs that threatened to come spilling out. No! I was angry, god fucking dammit! Not sad!
By the time I got to my place, I was in a full-blown rage, unwilling to even consider that the rage was a cover for something much deeper. Something much, much scarier.
CHAPTER38
Gabe
“Is Allegra gonna come too?”
Fuck, this was torture. “Ah, no, bud.” I shovelled dirt into the barrow, feeling Jake’s eyes on me and keeping my own determinedly averted. Which meant I was looking at Jesse just in time to see the disappointment on his face.
“I thought she said she was gonna watchSpidermanwith us.”
“I know she did. But now she can’t.”Or won’t.
“I wish she could.”
“I know you do, bud.” Father of the year right here. I had no fucking clue what to say to Jesse about Ally. Obviously, I’d have to tell him at some point that the dinners and movie nights were over now. Maybe I was just holding onto a bit of hope that they weren’t.
“Hey, Jesse, are you thirsty?”
“A bit, yeah.”
“You wanna run inside and grab us a couple of sodas. I brought some. They’re in the fridge.”
I kept our soda consumption to a minimum, so this was a real treat for Jesse. “Okay!”
The minute he’d run inside, Jake did exactly what I knew he was going to do. “What the fuck happened?”
I straightened, putting my hands in the small of my back, in a vague effort to relieve the ache there.
