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“Bro?” Jake prodded, when I didn’t answer.
What could I say? “I told her I loved her,” I shrugged. “She said we had a good thing going here, and why did I have to ruin it?”
“Fuck, man, that’s harsh.”
“Tell me about it.” I picked up the shovel again, feeling the need to be busy. That feeling had plagued me the last few days and I’d got a lot of yard work done as a result. Even though it really had only been a few days, I missed Ally enormously. As well as the ache in my back, I could feel the hole in my heart, gaping and raw.
“I gotta say, I’m surprised.”
“Are you?”
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
“Just that Ally seemed…I dunno. Really into you.”
Not knowing what else to say, I just shrugged.
“And she’s so good with Jesse.”
“Yeah, she is. He’ll miss her.” That just made everything hurt even more. “Do you think maybe I shouldn’t have done it?”
“Shouldn’t have told her, you mean?”
“Yeah. Like, if I hadn’t, she’d be coming over this weekend, maybe we’d get takeout, then watch a movie. But I did tell her, so now none of that’s happening.”
“What else could you do, though? Where was it gonna go?”
He had a point. And yet... “I don’t know. All I know is pushing for more from her has got me none of her. Maybe limbo would have been better.”
Jake paused for a moment, then said, “It’s not.”
Shit. Before I could think of something to say, Jesse came out carrying a bag of chips and three cans of soda.
“You’ll hang around for movie night?”
“Sounds good. Can I say something, though?”
“I guess.”
He lowered his voice. “I think you should tell Jesse. Don’t brush him off, and don’t let him think that it’s him that Ally’s ghosted.”
I looked at my brother closely. Something in his tone let me know he was speaking from experience. “Okay, thanks. I will.”
* * *
Ibarely paid attention to the movie and Jake left a few minutes after it finished, which left me to put Jesse to bed and break the news to him.
I waited for him to put his puffer and glasses on the nightstand, then pulled the blanket over him. “Did you like the movie?”
“Yeah, three Spidermans in one movie is the best.”
“I think you mean Spidermen,” I teased.
“Oh yeah,” he replied with a giggle.
“But you missed Allegra tonight, didn’t you?”
