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He nodded.
“Me too.”
His voice went small. “Did you have a fight?” He was so incredibly perceptive.
“Sort of, I guess.” I scrubbed my hand over my face.
“So, you’re not friends anymore?”
“It’s a weird situation to try to explain to you. We’re still friends, I guess, because we’ll still see each other at parties and stuff like that. But we aren’t friends in the way that it means she’ll come over and hang out here anymore.”
“Oh.”
“I’m sorry about that, because I know you liked her a lot.”
“Can I still message her on Roblox?”
“Um, I guess.” Crap. That meant I’d have to text Ally and ask her if she minded. I couldn’t see her saying no, but I had no idea if she just wanted to be completely done with us. Jesse texting her would make that difficult. “Just let me check with her first, okay?”
“Okay.”
“And now it’s late and you need to get to sleep.” I leaned down and kissed his forehead, going still when I felt his arms wind around my neck. This was still new territory for us and I always tried to keep things very light, pulling back at any sign that Jesse was uncomfortable or overwhelmed. He took the affection pretty well, but with the exception of the night when he had run into my room, he hadn’t initiated it again until now. Hugging him back, I said, “I love you, Jesse.”
“I love you, too, Dad.”
I left his room and grabbed my phone. What the fuck was I supposed to say to Ally? I stood in the hallway, staring at my phone for a ridiculously long time, before I finally decided to just keep it short and matter of fact.
Me:Hi. Jesse has asked if it’s okay for him to continue messaging you on Roblox. Let me know if you would prefer he didn’t, please.
Holy fuck that sounded harsh, but what else was I supposed to say?
Allegra:I don’t mind, if you don’t.
I could have replied, dragged out the conversation, asked her how she was. You know, basically tortured myself. Instead, I plugged the phone into the charger in the living room and went to bed.
CHAPTER39
Ally
It was a ridiculous number of tears to shed on the part of someone who supposedly didn’t care, but here I was. So. Much. Weeping. The only time I wasn’t crying was when I was with people. So I’d been spending alot of timeat the restaurant. Way more than my scheduled hours. I was surprised that my parents didn’t ask me what the fuck was going on, but they didn’t say anything at all. Every now and then, though, I’d catch one of them watching me. And a few times, I caught them exchanging glances behind my back. My dad just shrugged. Mom hugged me a lot. So yeah, my breakup from my non-relationship was going swimmingly.
Swimming in tears, anyway.
Today was probably going to be the hardest one yet to get through. A cookout at Zara and Matt’s for Matt’s birthday. Seeing Gabe for the first time. And Jesse. Who’d been messaging me every so often. Nothing big. Just telling me about school, his friend Silas, how he was doing at baseball.
I parked at the end of the drive, since it was already crowded with cars. Normally I’d be the first to arrive, so I could help with food prep and cooking. But not today, because that would have meant spending more time with Gabe.
Stupidly, I hadn’t anticipated what arriving after everyone else would feel like. Stepping onto the back patio, seeing everyone turn to look at me. Did they know? Had he told them the whole sordid story?
“Allegra!!!”
“Hey, kiddo.” Jesus Christ, how did I not burst into tears? I squeezed my eyes shut tight behind my sunglasses when Jesse ran toward me and threw his arms my waist.
“Dad said you were gonna be here today.”
Dad? Since when had that happened? Now I wanted to cry even more, because I was so happy for Gabe, and at the same time, so upset that I hadn’t heard about it. “And here I am,” I said, forcing a laugh. But where was Gabe?
Everyone else greeted me and after taking a seat next to Emma, I gripped my hands tight in my lap, until the knuckles turned white. Maybe this was a bad idea, and I should have said I had a headache or a stomach flu.
