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“Wit, he didn’t trust me enough.”
“For what?”
“To protect her. To know her secret. To help her.” Killion’s voice cracked. “That’s the part that hurt. Far worse than her leaving. Then, just as I got her back, I almost lost her. You know what it was like on that street corner, holding her, covered in her blood, hoping she’d live. That the babies would live. The amount of guilt I had for wasting precious time cleaning up a crime scene fuming over ridiculous shit when I could have taken her away from it all right then and there and spared her the shitstorm that followed. I could have brought her back here to Watermark, let her finish out her pregnancy in peace, avoid all this shit she’s had to go through.”
“Lock her in a tower? Prolong the inevitable? Man, you still would have had shit to work through.” Wit plopped his feet down and slid to the end of his chair. “There was no way to avoid the fallout. It was coming no matter what. You’re good at what you do, man, but you ain’t no magician. And I do know what it felt like on that corner. I was right beside you, covered in Aye’s blood, praying for her and our baby while watching my sister who’d just come back to us not an hour or two before fight for her damn life. We all felt robbed, man. We all felt guilty and wished we’d tossed her –– and Ayelish –– in the tower.”
Killion was silent again. He was trying to process it all. A part of him knew Wit was right, but there was also a piece that still didn’t make sense to him. Whatever that piece was it had been nagging at him for months now — ever since Rainy’s tumultuous return.
As if he could read Killion’s mind, Wit chimed in. “You said back in those early days at the hospital while Rainy was still in a coma and the babies were fighting hard that you were scared.”
Killion’s sharp glance at Wit told more than half the words he’d shared so far.
Wit smiled. “You’re still there, aren’t you? Living at that moment. Consumed by the fear.”
“I can’t shake it,” Killion admitted. “I’ve never been scared in my life, not like this. I’ve never lived in any kind of fear, and suddenly, it’s constant. All around me. With every move I make, every milestone the babies make, and now with Rainy home…”
“Home?” Wit smiled. “Is that what Rainy is to you?”
Killion paused, stuck on the question. Sure, he said she was home, which implied something, but he hadn’t given it any thought until Wit raised the question. How else was he to say it? It seemed natural, and he spoke the words without giving them any thought, or had he? It was as if it were a natural statement or consideration, she was home. What else would he have said? Rainy is visiting… Rainy is staying with our children and me… None of those attachments seemed proper or true. She was home and that didn’t mean anything more or less than the simplicity of the statement.
Or did it? When it was determined that Rainy would be able to leave the treatment facility, he made preparations for her to join him and the twins without considering that there were other options. He could have set her up in the apartment next door, even created a matching nursery there so the twins would feel more comfortable living between the two spaces. Hell, Rainy could have left the facility and went on to stay with one of her brothers, Wit or Hen.
Those options never crossed his mind. From the moment of her return to the late nights at her hospital bedside praying for her to wake from her coma, to rooting for every milestone accomplished at the rehab center –– the picture in his mind that followed was bringing her home with him and the twins. As much as he’d like to say it was for their children, it wasn’t. It was as much for him as it was any of them. He’d missed her. He’d worried about her. He’d pined for her. He craved her. He’d wanted her back in his bed from the moment she left, but they simply weren’t there… yet.
All these considerations left one last question for Killion, however. What did it all mean?
Killion finally had a response for Wit, and it was the one that contained the most logic and made the most sense to him. “I guess it’s her home. For as long as she wants it to be. I’ll respect whatever decisions she makes on the matter.”
“Oh, come on, man. You can do better than that. You just stared off into the clouds with a lovestruck daze like a regular daydreamer, and that’s the best answer you could come up with?”
Killion nodded. “Yes.”
“Alright, I’ll make this easy for ya since we ain’t got all day, much less the week it’ll take for you to get this on your own.” Wit shook his head in frustration. “You know why you’re scared? Why that fear runs through your veins and makes them fine hairs stand tall on the back of your neck?”
“No. I don’t.”
“I know you don’t. I wasn’t askin’ ya. It was a rhetorical question.”
“In other words, you’re being dramatic,” Killion pointed out.
Wit snapped his finger and pointed at Killion wearing an amused look. “Yes! See, you’re a quick study, brother. I am being dramatic. Listen, you know deep down why this is hangin’ over your head, why Rainy seems different, why you’re strugglin’ to connect and can’t sleep at night.”
“I know there’s a reason. We’ve established that,” Killion said, looking at his watch as his own element of dramatics. “Mind getting to the point?”
“Home. Family. Love.” Wit held his hands out to his side and slid back in his seat so satisfied like he’d just solved all the world’s problems. When Killion continued to stare like he’d missed the punchline, Wit went on. “Man, you don’t make this easy. You still love her, only… the stakes are much higher now because you got those little rug rats now too. There’s a difference between love and lovin’. You love your family and friends, but Rainy and those babies? Now that’s some lovin’.”
“I love them more.”
“See? You’re gettin’ it. You love your brothers and sisters?”
“Yes.”
“Does it hurt?” Wit asked.
Killion’s brow furrowed. “No.”
“Do you love my sister and those babies?”
