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“Because of these.” Lifting a hand to her cheek, he brushed a thumb over the wetness coating her skin, holding it up for her to see. “Do you think they shed tears over their dreams? Over the actions of others they had no control over? They don’t because they’re heartless, soulless monsters. And you, babygirl, have the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever met.”
She broke with a sob, curling into him and soaking his shirt with her tears. And he held her as she cried, helpless to do anything to ease the murderous rage blossoming inside him.
CHAPTER19
Unsurprisingly, she’d cried herself to sleep before they could discuss her request for him to punish her. Which he was grateful for, because he wasn’t sure he could trust himself to have that conversation in anything approaching a calm or rational manner.
His babygirl obviously had some deeply entrenched feelings of guilt to work through. But he would be damned if he’d feed into the idea that she was even the tiniest bit to blame for any of it by agreeing to spank her. Just the thought of doing so had him seeing red.
Pressing the button to bring his sleeping computer to life, he glanced over at the couch in his office where he’d brought her after she’d passed out. She probably would have been more comfortable in her bed, but he couldn’t stand having her more than a few feet away from him for the time being.
That was going to be a problem when it came time for her to leave, but for now he could indulge himself by letting her nap close by.
Forcing himself to turn back to the computer screen, he unlocked the system and engaged a few extra security protocols. He didn’t want to risk anyone getting a glimpse at what he was about to do.
Her mother wasn’t difficult to find, even with a surname as relatively ubiquitous as ‘Foster’. Though she was, apparently, a Wallace now according to her most recent marriage certificate. With two young stepchildren at home, a fact that made his gut churn with rage until he had to swallow back bile.
It would be a simple matter to have her taken care of. He had plenty of friends who owed him favors, friends who would think nothing of setting up a tragic accident for mommy dearest.
The big question was, what would MaryAnn have to say about it? There was, technically, no reason for her to know if it was done well. All she would know was that her tormentor was dead and buried.
But that wasn’t fair to her. God knew everyone else in her life had taken her choices from her, pushed her into situations she never would have chosen to be in on her own. He’d be damned if he was going to be one of those people.
So he sent a few inquiries, but nothing firm. If she decided it was something she wanted him to do, he’d gladly put his plans into action.
If she didn’t… well, he’d have to find some other way to appease the rage that had taken root in his soul. Something that didn’t stain her with the dark violence he could feel brewing inside him.
A soft whimper drew his attention away from the computer and he rushed to the couch, running his hand over her hair until the furrow between her brows smoothed. “Shh, baby. Nobody is ever going to hurt you again. I swear.”
Even as he made the vow, he couldn’t help but wonder if he would be able to keep it. Or if he would be the next person to break her heart.
* * *
Napsunder the best conditions had always been hit or miss for her. Naps after reliving the absolute worst experiences in her life and crying herself to sleep were definitely a miss. She woke feeling like her head had been stuffed full of cotton, and not much more rested than she had been before she’d passed out in Dean’s arms.
Dean. God, what he must think of her now, after everything she’d shared with him. It wouldn’t surprise her if he sent her up to her room and told her to stay there until Nate was caught so he never had to look at her again.
Groaning quietly, she sat up, scanning her surroundings through bleary eyes. Was she in Dean’s office? A brisk rub at her eyes cleared her vision enough for her to see that was definitely where she was. She was pretty sure she’d fallen asleep in the living room, so he must have carried her in here.
Probably wants to keep an eye on you, make sure you don’t do something stupid or criminal.
Just as she was forcing herself to her feet, the sound of a toilet flushing met her ears, followed by running water a few moments before a door to her right that she’d never noticed before swung open.
Pulling up short in the open doorway, Dean stared at her like she’d grown three heads. “You’re up. Good.”
Though his mouth curved up in a smile, she could tell it was forced. His eyes didn’t have the same warm approval in them she’d grown so used to during the time they’d spent together. And although her heart felt like it was shattering into a billion pieces, she made herself return the gesture. “Yeah. Just woke up.”
“Hungry?”
“Not really. I, um, do need to use the bathroom though, if that’s okay.”
“Of course, babygirl.”
He stepped aside, allowing her to squeeze past. She didn’t really even have to pee that bad, but it gave her a moment to stuff all the wild emotions battering at her down into their little box where they belonged. Where they couldn’t hurt her when he inevitably told her he wanted nothing to do with her.
Feeling slightly more steady, she washed up and took one of those deep breaths Dean and Jeanine were always harping on about and opened the bathroom door.
He was sitting on the couch, and the moment she stepped back into the office, he held his arms open as if inviting her in. Unsure of what his angle was, she sank onto the couch beside him, careful not to touch him. She didn’t think the box would stay closed very long if she got her hands on him.
