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I lean forward, pull a book out of my bag, and then open it to the bookmarked page. When her eyes catch the cover of the book, she does a double take.
“Are you readingWhat to Expect when You’re Expecting?” she asks, without taking her eyes off the cover of the book.
“Yes.”
She turns her face up toward me. “Why?”
“Because I’d like to know what to expect? Aren’t you reading things?”
“Of course,I’mreading things,” she huffs. “I just don’t understand whyyou’rereading things.”
I close the book and set it down. “I know you think I’m just doing this as a part of some evil plot, but I’m all in, Maggie. This is my baby, and I take that really seriously.”
She presses her lips together tightly and then blows out a big rush of air from her nose. “I don’t want you to come back with me for the first part of the appointment.”
“What?” I don’t understand. She said I could come to doctor’s appointments. Here we are in the waiting room, and she tells me now that she doesn’t want me to come back. I frown and wait for some sort of explanation.
She shifts a little in her seat, her eyes glued to the door back to the examining rooms. “If I’m being honest, I’m nervous about it, and you’ll just make me more nervous.”
“Why am I here then if I can’t come back? When I asked to come to your doctor’s appointments, I wasn’t talking about the waiting room.”
She finally turns and looks at me. “I know. You can come back during the ultrasound and to talk to the doctor, but I’d prefer to be alone for the poking and prodding.”
I rub my eye and then say, “Of course, I don’t want to stress you out.”
The nurse calls her back a few minutes later, and I settle in with my book. After about a half hour, the nurse comes back for me and leads me to the room where Maggie is waiting. Once we’re alone, I say, “You okay?”
There’s a bandage on her arm where she had blood drawn. “Fine.”
“Everything okay so far?”
She nods.
I open my mouth to ask another question when the ultrasound tech walks into the room.
“Are you ready to get a look at this baby?” she asks, as she pulls up a stool.
We both murmur in agreement, and she asks Maggie a few questions as she types away. When she finishes, she swivels around on her stool and then says, “Ok, Mom, can you lift up your shirt?”
Mom. My skin tingles when I hear that. I’m sure it’s the first time anyone has called MaggieMom.
I can’t tell if it had the impact on her that it had on me. She nods and starts to lift her shirt. Maggie’s wearing a flowy top today. She’d lost some weight before she got pregnant when she was struggling with everything, and I’ve noticed she looks even thinner now. I know she’s been nauseous, and she threw up that day in my apartment. I wish I knew how sick she’s been, but she’s not going to confide in me right now. Regardless, her clothes are all baggy and reveal nothing of her pregnancy, but when she lifts her shirt, I see it. Just a little hint of a baby bump and my chest tightens.
The tech pours some goo on her stomach and then gently presses the ultrasound wand to her skin. I really want to take her hand right now, but I know that’s not what she wants. The tech tilts the screen toward us and says, “There’s your baby.”
She pushes a button and sound fills the room – the heartbeat.My baby’s heartbeat.I steal a look at Maggie. A tear is rolling down her cheek.
We both stare at the screen in silence as the tech zooms in and takes pictures. When she finishes, she pulls a long string of pictures from the machine and hands them to Maggie. “Dr. Curtis wants to meet with you in a few minutes in her office. If you’re ready, I’ll walk you over.”
We follow her without a word and sit down in Dr. Curtis’ office, just as we had a few months prior.
I want to say something. I want to celebrate this moment with her, but I stay quiet.
The doctor walks in. As she shakes our hands, she says, “Congratulations, Mom and Dad.”
That sends a shiver down my spine, but I try to keep my face neutral.
Once Dr. Curtis takes a seat, she smiles at Maggie. “Well, I never said it was impossible, but I’m surprised.”
