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“How are you doing?” I ask. She looks tired and pale. I don’t think she’s been out of the apartment this week other than for work. From the looks of her, I doubt she’s eaten either.
“Not good,” she says, looking down at her hands.
“What are you wanting to do? Are you going to try some of the medications?”
She sighs heavily. “I’m going to take a break.”
I wasn’t really expecting this answer. “Oh.”
She rests her arms on the table and looks up at me. “I’m not in a place to do it mentally right now. I’ve realized that this week. I’m going to take a break. Reassess in a few months.”
I nod slowly.
“I need to get in a better place,” she says, softly.
She’s right. She does, and I’m proud of her for realizing it.
She slides the folder over to me – I flip it open to see our contract inside. I look up at her, confused.
“Let’s break it.”
I look down at the paper and up at her again.
“You’re free.” She gives me a sad smile. “Go travel the world again. Fuck every pretty thing that passes your way.”
I flinch when I hear that last part. She doesn’t seem to notice and just continues, “I’m sure you’re dying to get out there. The sacrifices that you’ve made for me these past few months – I'll never forget.”
None of it was a sacrifice. I haven’t thought about another woman during this time. The thought crosses my mind to tell her I haven’t been with anyone but her in years. But now is not the time, and it would freak her the fuck out. She doesn’t need that right now. I just swallow my words.
“I would keep trying if that’s what you wanted,” I say.
An expression crosses her face of such sadness that it makes my chest hurt. “Oh Dex, you heard the doctor. The chances I’ll ever get pregnant are low, and it could take years. I could never ask you to put your life on hold for me like that. You’ve already done it for too long.”
“You weren’t asking. I'm offering.”
She gives me a sad smile. “And I’m saying no.”
She shakes her head. “I don’t get you, Declan. You’ve been a caged animal for more than six months. Aren’t you itching to be free? Think of all the women just waiting out there for you.”
No. I’m not itching to be free.
She looks down at the table and then back up at me. “Someone asked me out.”
Knife. To. Heart.
“What?” I’m trying my hardest to sound casual, but my voice comes out strangled.
She darts her eyes away. “Someone has asked me out. I’m going to go.”
“Oh, so this isn’t aboutmegetting to fuck other people? It’s aboutyou. You should have just said so in the first place.”
She wrinkles her brow at my icy tone. “We need to move on – both of us. This isn’t healthy for either of us.”
“I thought you didn’t want a relationship.”
“It’s a date, Declan. I have no idea what it is.”
I scowl at her.
