Page 52 of The Stay


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“Fuck, Nix, when you get out, there’s so much I wanna do with you, fuck, we can have real fun if you want, you ever had a threesome?”

Nix looked at Ash with tired eyes. “Yeah. Two girls.”

Ash smirked. “You wanna share a girl?”

Nix smiled, yet there was sadness in the curve of his lips. “Yeah.”

“But, you’re mine, you know that?” Ash said. “I get it, you got an itch to scratch, but you’ll always be mine.”

“Will I?” Nix almost looked pained.

“Nix, of course-”

“‘Cause if you change your mind, it’s okay.”

Ash stared at the man in the bed in front of him. Nix was beaten, he saw it clear as day. Ash realized what he was saying. It was sounding like Nix was saying goodbye. Like a final goodbye.

Ash’s brain went into hyperdrive, trying to figure out what was going on. “Nix, I’m not changing my mind.” Ash frowned. “Are you changing yours?”

Nix licked his bottom lip slowly. “I’m just saying, things change. On the outside, with your MC, you know, things might change.”

Ash scowled thunderously. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

Nix raised his arm, the IV drip tube followed him. “I’m saying, Ash… fuck! If you don’t want to come back for me, pick me up, it’s okay, I’ll just go someplace else.”

“Nix, I literally just said-”

“I mean, it might be for the best, for both of us.”

“You’re not talking sense right now, Nixy. These drugs strong?” Ash peered at the IV bag. Just saline solution.

“I’m not sure if I’m gay, okay? I’m not sure if we can be a thing, if we were ever a thing-” Nix suddenly burst out.

“Nix, you don’t know what you are talking about right now-”

“I’m serious! Maybe it’s best we just fucking part ways and never let this carry on any further-”

It was hurtful and completely out of character for Nix. Ash felt his world slide sideways. Ash was hurting, but Nix was hurting, too. Ash didn’t understand. It made no sense.

That sat there for a moment in Ash’s mind. He watched Nix. Nix looked away. Fidgeted. Yes. It made no sense from Nix because it wasn’t from Nix. Ash’s quick mind put the pieces together. This was coming from someone else.

“I don’t fucking believe you,” Ash whispered.

“Look, I’m just saying, I’m not sure of anything anymore…” Nix drifted vaguely.

“Yeah well, I am sure of some things, Nix. I’ll tell you what I’m sure of.” Ash pressed his lips into Nix’s, and Nix responded immediately, hungrily. Desperately.

Ash smirked through the kiss. “Whatever fucking game you are playing, I see you,” he hissed into Nix’s face, clashing their foreheads together. Nix clung to Ash like a man drowning, and Ash took the high risk, high reward gamble. He didn’t take no for an answer, and he sure as fuck wasn’t taking it from Nix today. “I see you pretending, Nix.”

Nix sobbed, and Ash knew he was on the right lines. “Whatever has happened, maybe you’re scared, maybe you’re hurt, I don’t know. But I am here, I am always here and I will not be going any fucking where. I’m going to pick you up from outside these gates in however many weeks or months, and I’m going to drive you back to the MC clubhouse, Nix. And that is where we are going to live. Together.”

“Ash, no.”

“Nix, yes,” he continued, raggedly, desperately. “And you are going to do your best to survive in here, whatever that takes, Nix, do you hear me? You lie, you steal, you fucking maim whoever you have to to stay alive and get out. Okay? If it means you have to fuck another cellmate to stay sane-”

“I’m not gay, Ash, I’m not-”

“Don’t lie to yourself, Nix!” Ash was getting angry now. “I felt you, trembling in the darkness right next to me! I heard you, Nix, begging, gasping, gagging. Don’t you dare tell me that wasn’t real. I felt your cock responding to me, I sucked you, Nix-”

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