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I stand up and shove my hands in my pockets, bracing myself.
“Grey,” she says, her lips turned down in a frown, her arms folded across her chest. Oh, she’s gonna blow.
“Karen,” I say and let out a long breath.
“Josh called me and told me what happened,” she begins, and I run a hand over my head, feeling ridiculously nervous.
“Yeah.”
Her hands fly out in front of her, not trying to strike me, but fluttering like angry wasps. “How could you! Seriously, Greyson. Quinn? He’s only nineteen!”
“You and I were fifteen when we messed around,” I say and then groan because that was the wrong thing to say.
“Are you saying you and Quinn have been going at it since he wasfifteen?”
“Of course not!” I nearly shout. “I never looked at him like that.”
“But you did on this trip,” she hisses, and I sigh.
“Yeah. I did.” I looked real hard too. Fuck.
So glad those words didn’t seep from my mouth because now she’s seething, her cheeks red, her eyes glinting with fury.
“Joshua is never going to forgive you for this.”
“I already know that. If that’s why you came over, you didn’t need to bother.”
But my words are lost on her. She’s powering ahead, full fucking speed. “He was broken up about it. Quinnpunchedhim,” she says, her eyes wide, and I nod, swallowing roughly. Because I remember that moment distinctly, the sound of it, the way my son’s eyes widened with shock, the dismay I felt for the friendship that is most likely broken beyond repair.
And it’s all because of me.
“He did,” I say softly.
She places her hands on her hips and then purses her lips.
“I cannot with you, Grey. Honestly, what kind of man are you? What kind of father?”
Something starts to itch deep down inside of me, and I shift on my feet. Quinn’s words slowly filter up through my mind, the ones where he told me I’m a good father, that I’m worthy. I meet Karen’s blazing stare, feeling suddenly fed up and defiant.
“I mean, honestly, you’re all kinds of fucked up to do that to him. Your relationship was already rocky enough and then you go and fuck his best friend.”
“He fucked me,” I tell her, my voice low and Karen freezes. “He fucked me, Karen. I’m a bottom. Which you’d know if you bothered totalkto me. If you bothered to be afriendto me. I thought that’s what we agreed upon when we split. That we’d stay friends, that things would be amiable, but you’re so damn angry all the time.”
She blanches and I clench my shaking hands. “I’m a damn good dad, despite you trying to make me out to be the bad guy. I am. You fucking know it too. You know I am.”
Those words are but a whisper, but it’s enough. The itch is vibrating within me now. I feel it pulsing through me.
“You know it and still, you chose to hurt me anyways. You did it because you could. So yeah, I fucked around with Quinn, but you’ve been degrading me to our son for years, Karen. Motherfucking years. So what does that make you?”
Karen hesitates, not used to me standing up for myself. I never was good at it, and I can already start to feel myself deflate. I’m done with this conversation. I just want her to go, so I can sulk and be lonely in peace.
“I’m sorry I hurt him. I didn’t mean to. I know it was wrong, but at the time, it felt right…”
I sigh and run a hand down my face before meeting her flinty stare.
Her lips are pulled down into a frown, but she’s silent, so I add, “Still feels like it was right.”
She huffs and throws her hands up in the air.
