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“Oh, for fuck’s sake. Not this again,” Jasper says, and my lips twitch.
“You know you’re curious about it. What plastic looks like when it burns.”
Jasper folds his arms across his chest and shakes his head. “We are killing the ozone. Kansas is bad for the environment.”
“Just one itty-bitty piece,” Ryan says and then walks over to the back of Jimbob’s truck and pulls out a large carton.
“What the hell is that?” Jasper asks, and Jimbob sighs.
“I apologize for him. He’s lost his gosh darn mind. Put that back, you know that’s not for a fire, Ryan. We’re taking that to the dump!”
But Ryan doesn’t stop moving forward and before anyone can intercept, the large plastic container is thrown into the fire and ashes and sparks of fire shoot up around us. The pig squeals and everyone takes a stumbling step back, and then we watch as it starts to smoke and melt, the fumes making everyone cover their mouths and noses with their shirts.
“Glorious!” Ryan says, and Jimbob turns toward him and thumps him roughly on the back of the head.
“Hey!” Ryan sputters, rubbing the sore spot.
“I said no.”
Ryan purses his lips and then cocks an eyebrow, looking defiant.
“Since when do you ever tell me what to do…bro?”
Jimbob stands a little taller and Ryan shrinks back, his cocky attitude faltering for just a second. Never seen Jimbob get upset with anyone except his pet emu, who always gets in the way of whatever Jimbob is doing. But it seems like Ryan may need to be taught a lesson.
“Think he’s gonna spank him?” Jasper whispers, his hand fanning the air around his face.
“I don’t think Jimbob has ever done that before in his life, and I don’t think he’s gonna start now.”
And he doesn’t. He just turns back and watches the plastic container melt into goo and then turns to the rest of us.
“Don’t know why he did that. I apologize.”
Jimbob looks at Ryan, who shuffles on his feet. “I get an urge sometimes and I can’t quite help myself. As an apology, I will bring you all food. What do you want? Pizza? I can have it delivered.”
Jasper gapes at me. “You can have pizza delivered out here?”
My lips are pulled between my teeth as I watch Jasper’s mouth open and close in confusion.
“That makes no sense!” he screeches. “Pizza man will come out here? Here?”
He swings his arms around, his eyes wide. “Kansas is insane! Insane!”
Ryan just eyes him, and the pig Jimbob is holding squeals in his arms.
“Yeah, so enough of the dramatics, what kind of pizza you want? Just nothing with goat cheese or rhubarb.”
“Why the fuck would we want that?” Jasper asks, and Ryan shrugs.
“Never know with you weirdos.”
And then he’s pulling out his phone and ordering while Jasper pulls me to the side and asks, “You really have pizza delivered out here?” Like he still can’t believe it.
I just pull him in for a long-drawn-out kiss, unable to help myself.
“Yeah, we do. I know it’s hard to comprehend…”
“My mind is blown. I won’t survive this…”
