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I could feel my stomach dropping to my feet at how much his behavior was upsetting me.
Rachel: Of course not! What is going on???
He didn’t text me back, and before I could rise to confront him, Trevor was walking through the balcony doors with that open, approachable smile on his face that quickly endeared him to everyone he spoke to.
“How lucky am I to have not one but two beautiful women at my house tonight!” he exclaimed as if he hadn’t been texting me like a conspiracy theorist moments before.
He swept up to me and pulled me into an embrace, whispering in my ear, “Later,”before kissing me and making his way over to introduce himself to Tiffany. My friend was cordial, but once we were left alone again, she mentioned how odd it was that he left me by myself for so many hours of the day. I agreed, but his text messages hinted at something more sinister than loneliness building in our relationship.
There was never a later. Trevor swept the text barrage under the rug like he did everything else he wanted to hide from me, and when I pulled up the conversation to point the messages out to him, they had disappeared like a figment of my imagination.
His dismissive shrug was even more infuriating than usual, but what could I have even done at that point? Trouble in paradise was almost too dramatic a phrase for what was going on, and at that point, I was fully invested in Trevor.
It was easy to convince myself that he was getting prematurely cold feet or that the suddenness of moving in with a woman was freaking him out, but eventually, the bizarre behavior would build up to the point that I couldn’t ignore it. No matter how many sweet nothings he whispered into my hair or how many gifts he bought me, I couldn’t justify it all.
I started to feel genuine fear the morning I woke up to see a security team fitting the house with enough cameras to secure Fort Knox, as well as other security measures. The outdoor cameras weren’t a problem, but the indoor ones.
“You can’t install a camera in ourbedroom,” I hissed to Trevor, pulling him away from the security team he was talking to.
“Chill out, baby. Only I will have the passcode.” He all but waved me off.
Emotions were churning inside me so rapidly, all brought on by the overwhelming feeling of my privacy being violated, that I took off for Dallas even though I didn’t have a shoot that day. I just had to get out of the house and away from Trevor to get my mind straight.
I spent the day shopping and thinking about my next move. Things couldn’t remain the way they were, but I wasn’t quite ready to throw in the towel, at least not at that point.
In the night, I could feel the warmth of my fiancé lying beside me, and count his deep, even breaths as he slept. I cared for him, still loved him despite his erratic behavior, and I truly hoped he was worth fighting for.
I thought Trevor was completely asleep and rolled over, my back towards him. I jumped when I felt his arms snake around me, and his lips move against the shell of my ear.
“I know things have been crazy, baby,” Trevor rumbled, almost inaudibly. “But don’t worry. We’ll fix this. I’m going to work from home now, so you won’t have to be lonely anymore.”
Chapter Five
People like to think that they are smarter than everyone else, more in tune with the world around them, and not easily fooled, but my time with my fiancé told a different story.
I wouldn't consider myself gullible or naïve, but the walls closed in on me in such small increments that I wasn’t appropriately pissed off until it was too late, and the mistakes I made were staring me in the face.
I knew there would be some adjustments to Trevor deciding to work from home, but I didn’t expect it all to make him lose his mind.
I thought at least we would be able to see each other more often, but that wasn’t the case, given how much time he spent in his office with the door locked and the shades pulled shut. We both tried to put up a front that nothing was wrong, but it just became more undeniable by the day.
Had all the negativity not been flowing around me like water, I think I would have appreciated my new living situation a lot more. There was something that gave my soul peace to be so far away from everything.
Sitting in front of one of the floor-to-ceiling windows and watching as the sun rose over the glittering water every morning was a beloved activity, and even the air smelled different. It should have been a little slice of heaven, but Trevor and his newfound paranoias were turning into something entirely different.
Because when Trevor came out of that office each evening, he was almost unrecognizable. Frantic in a way I couldn’t understand, constantly checking the camera and making rounds outside carrying a pistol I hadn’t even known he owned.
My fiancé was pale, with dark circles like bruises under his eyes and a miasma of fear around him at all times. I had no idea what was going on, but it couldn’t be “art appraisal” or whatever bullshit he had been feeding me. Things like that didn’t cause men to lose sleep or become sad imitations of themselves.
I was still traveling back and forth to Dallas to shoot content or to fly out to LA to shoot scenes for large studios, but I could tell it pissed him off more and more each time I left. Trevor would watch me out the window like a statue when I left and would be waiting in the driveway like some wraith when I returned home.
He would try to act normal, making dinner and insisting we eat together, but no matter how it started out, the conversation would veer to him wanting to know every person I spoke to throughout the day and what conversations we had. It made me angry until I finally stormed to the bedroom to get away from his prying, intrusive questioning.
I suppose I still loved Trevor, though, and it was clear that he was having some sort of mental breakdown. I didn’t want to leave him while he was suffering. I was supposed to be the one to help him in times like that, right? With an apparent lack of any proper family, who did he have but me?
As much as I hate to admit it, I started to change my life to fit more easily in line with his. I took influencer jobs, just one here or there at first, until a good portion of my day was spent on social media, earning advertising money that way.
As long as I was at the house, I could keep a closer eye on Trevor, knocking on his office door, offering him lunches, and coaxing him into walking around the property with me without patrolling. It was clear he wasn’t interested in any of it and would much rather starve in the dark on his own, but I wasn’t going to take no for an answer. Not if I was going to change my entire world for him.
