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He nuzzled his nose into my neck before kissing the sensitive skin under my ear. “Which one do you want to know about?”
I lifted his right arm and examined it. “This one,” I said, pointing to the lion surrounded by lilies.
Ethan’s chest rose up and down as he pondered the intricate design. “The lilies represent my mother, and the lion symbolizes the man I wanted to be for her. She needed protection from my father, but I was too little, too weak…” His voice grew hoarse. “This acts as a reminder to protect the people I love most.”
My heart ached. “You never talk about her.”
“There’s not much to say. She was great, until she wasn’t. My father’s final strike was getting her hooked on heroin. She was never the same after that.”
I pulled his hand to my lips and kissed the knuckles he used to punch into the walls when he first came to live with us.
“What about this one?” I asked, trying to ease his torment by pointing at the four-leaf clover on his hand.
“I got this after your parents asked me to stay on permanently. I thought I’d be living on the street at sixteen, not sleeping in my own room, in an amazing house by the beach. It was like winning the family lottery.”
I smiled as I chose another. “And this one?”
Ethan pressed his cheek to mine as I traced the ornate compass on the inside of his wrist. “I got this one after they passed…so I wouldn’t lose my path.”
“Oh.” My throat closed over with emotion. “This one is my favorite.”
He kissed my shoulder. “It’s mine too.”
After a quiet moment of reflection, I summoned the courage to ask Ethan the question that had haunted me for years. “Why didn’t you stay with me? After the funeral?”
His chest caved inward. “I couldn’t. It wasn’t right for me to be around you then. Not when you were so vulnerable.”
“All this time…” A tear slid down my cheek. “I thought you hated me.”
“I did.” Ethan held my arms as I recoiled and brought my back to his torso. “I hated how beautiful you were. I hated you for leaving for college. I hated you for jumping into that toxic relationship, then flaunting it in my face.”
“I never flaunted—”
“Bullshit,” he growled into my ear, still holding me in place. “You know how thin our walls are.”
My temper flared. “Well, you’re not exactly quiet with your harem of women.”
“I haven’t brought a girl home in months.”
I shrugged. “I assumed you’d caught an STD.”
“Fuck you.” He tickled my side, freeing the tension. “I’m 100% clean, and I’ve never had unprotected sex with anyone—until you, that is.”
I exhaled. “Me either.”
“What? You and Vance never…?”
I shook my head.
“Jesus, Daise.” He wrapped his giant arms around my body. “I’m sorry.”
“Why are you sorry? It’s not like you took advantage of me. I wanted it as much as you did.”
Ethan closed his eyes with a grimace. “But I’m supposed to look out for you.”
“I have a brother for that.”
“Don’t remind me,” he groaned. “He’s going to kill me when he finds out about us.”
