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It would kill me to find shards of regret lurking within them.
Instead, a soft smile spreads across her face. “Guess I’ll be checking off number six.”
Relief spirals through me. I didn’t realize how tense I’d become until now. “And number seven. Tonight was a two-for-one special.”
Even though I’m reluctant to leave the warmth of her body, I pull out and roll off the side of the bed before grabbing a couple pieces of tissue and removing the condom. I tie the end into a tight knot and wrap it up before tossing the used rubber in the small garbage can near her desk. Then I’m back, sliding beneath the sheets and tugging her into my arms until her head can rest against my chest.
As hazy as my brain is, I can’t get over how perfect this feels.
How good being buried deep inside her body was.
Or holding her close after sex.
Normally after blowing my load, all I want to do is devise an escape plan before the chick I’m with can mention getting together again. The last thing I want is to get sucked into a quasi-relationship, which is another reason I only sleep with a girl once or twice before moving onto the next.
But with Juliette?
That’s not how I feel.
In fact, the urge to lock her down tight is the only one thrumming through me at the moment. It’s on the tip of my tongue to broach the subject. To make this more of a permanent situation. I don’t want her even looking at other guys. And if that isn’t some scary shit, I don’t know what is.
A burst of anxiety explodes inside me at the idea of heaping even more expectation and responsibility onto my plate.
Don’t I have enough going on with school and hockey?
How can I handle adding something else to the mix?
Unease spirals through me and it all starts to feel like…too much.
The avalanche of confusion that buries me alive is what propels me to blurt, “It’s late. I should probably get going.”
For just a second, she stiffens before pulling away. As soon as her warmth vanishes, a sharp sense of loss fills me. It’s so damn tempting to drag her back into my arms, but I don’t. I force myself to rise from the bed and collect my scattered clothing before getting dressed. The entire time I do, regret churns inside me.
Once my shoes are on, I reluctantly turn back to the bed.
I have no idea what to say or how to leave this.
I plow a rough hand through my hair. “I’ll see you around?”
“Sure.” There’s a pause. “Thanks for tonight.”
“Yeah, it was fun.”
That adjective doesn’t even come close to describing what this evening meant.
We might be crossing off a lot of firsts for her, but this was one for me. The connection I felt while being buried inside her body isn’t something I’ve experienced before. Nor have I ever placed someone else’s pleasure above my own.
It’s on the tip of my tongue to say something…
Something that will change the trajectory of this night.
“Take it easy.”
When she gives me a tight smile in response, I slip quietly from the room.
CHAPTER25
JULIETTE
