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“Uh, not exactly.”
I run my fingers through my hair. “Christ, what other animal did ye bring home?”
“He’s a fake doll-baby the girls gave us to practice with, but apparently, he’s wandered off. Benji? Where are you?”
“Uh, Love, I don’t think the doll is goin’ to answer ye back, and if it does, I want it the fuck out of me house.”
“Benjamin Blueberry?” TJ claps his hands, searching the room. “It’s time for bed.”
“Is Benjamin Blueberry wearing a Gucci onesie? If so, he’s sleeping with Chase.”
TJ rushes over to the fort Chase is sleeping in and peers inside. Placing a hand on his chest, he sits back. “Oh, thank God. If I had lost two in one night…”
“What do ye mean, lost two in a night?” I move a pizza box off a chair. “And why are ye covered in marker?”
“This?” TJ looks at his arm. “Well, it all started when we were having a dance party and the ‘I Like You’ video with Doja Cat came on and Chase told me I couldn’t pull off a face tattoo like Post Malone, and I said the hell I can’t.” TJ snaps his finger in an arch. “But then it got a little out of control. Drew got in on the action and colored all over my arms. I think I look pretty fly for a white guy if I do say so myself.”
“Please don’t ever say that phrase again.”
“Then we played hide-and-seek. Chase got bored after two rounds though, and we forgot about Drew, who was hiding in the laundry room for an hour, so that was fun having a panic attack when I suddenly remembered he was missing and couldn’t find him. God bless Gladys at nine-one-one. She’s the real hero of the story for helping me breathe into a paper sack over FaceTime. After that, we ordered pizza and built a fort. I love those two, but Jesus, they’re demanding.”
“Wait a minute. Ye didn’t realize Drew was missing for anhour?”
“I mean, he’s so damn quiet and Chase is a nonstop attention-seeking chatterbox that requires endless amounts of patience. Benji kept crying and needing a diaper change. I thought I was going to lose my mind. I didn’t even realize Drew was missing. Again, thank God for Gladys, who talked me off the ledge and told me to canvas every room in the apartment. Poor little Drew-bear was sitting in the laundry room closet sucking his thumb with Bankie. Oh my god, do you think I’ve scarred him for life?”
“He’ll be fine. Sounds like ye had quite a night on yer own.” I sit down next to him and take his hand in mine, looking around at the war-torn living room. Even though the house is a complete mess, it’s kind of nice coming home to tuck little ones into their beds. And it’s nice to see TJ all grumpy and tired with food in his hair, trying, because I asked him to.
The calico cat crawls out from the fort and walks over to us, jumping up on the couch next to TJ. She sits and stares at me with an owlish expression. I reach out and let her smell my hand. “I think we should name the cat Bartie. That way, when we have a baby, there’s no chance in hell our kid will get stuck with that name.”
“Thank God you’re saying okay to the cat because I couldn’t return her to a life behind bars…wait, did you saywhenwe have a baby? Not if, but when? Does that mean down the road in ten years or…?”
He looks up at me hopefully and my heart swells. “Mo chroi, I think I’m ready. Let’s do it.”
TJ pulls me into a strangling hug, scaring Bartie off the couch. He screams silently into my chest and squeezes my biceps.
“Are those screams of joy?”
“Yes! I don’t want to wake up Chase. He’s like a Chihuahua on crack.”
After a moment, I untangle myself from him and look into his grass-green eyes. “There are goin’ to be some rules, though.”
“Yes, yes, whatever you want.”
“I need to be a part of the decision-making. No more Jean Luc Poop or tellin’ the girls things before we discuss them, or bringin’ home pets from the Humane Society. If we’re goin’ to do this, we’re goin’ to do it together.”
“Totes agree. One hundred million bazillion percent.”
“I am open to adoption or surrogacy, but I think we should start with adoption first.”
“Yes, totally fine.” He nods his head like a bobblehead doll. “We can practice in the meantime with Benji.”
I give him a tired smile. “And last, I want ye to know how much I love ye, and there’s no one else I’d rather be doin’ this with.Go síoraí, mo chroí.”
TJ sighs and brings my hand to his heart. “Forever, my heart. I love you too, my sexy Irishman.”
I touch my lips to his and close my eyes, the chaos in the air stilling when I breathe in his scent. I groan as he pulls away from me.
“Come on, let’s go to bed. I’m exhausted,” TJ sulks. “Kiki’s kids take every ounce of energy and brainpower from you and crush it in their little hands like miniature villains plotting to take over the world. It’s a special talent Chase has. I love them, but they’re a lot.”
